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    lareese's Avatar
    lareese Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 5, 2012, 01:23 PM
    6 year old boy touched my 3 year old daughter
    Had a bbq had our normal friends over I walked in my daughters room and her six year old friend had his hand in her pants-I have t her talked with my daughter about her Private Parts multiple times and I understand kids are curious but my daughter is 3 he is 6-Doesnt seem right to me. He was servilely punished by his parents and I sat and spoke with my daughter(I didn't believe physical punishment was right for this situation). The next day as we cooked dinner she came in the kitchen and pointed and asked about her fathers genital area (She has NEVER done this before) was very disturbing to me and made me feel even worse about the situation. I am going to speak with the boys mother this weekend at the time it happened I just wanted EVERYONE out of my house since after I said what I saw she said"we dont know what happened" like I was lying about the situation-I know what I saw and I saw his hands in her pants plain and simple. I don't want to make more of a big deal out of this thinking it will strike her interest more I feel like if I get books of the birds and the bees and she will see the different genitals it make her more curious. I will be speak with a therapist today about this issue-My brother was molested and this is my biggest deepest fear and It is coming to life.
    lareese's Avatar
    lareese Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Jun 5, 2012, 01:25 PM
    I HAVE talked to her about her private parts
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Jun 5, 2012, 01:32 PM
    And you already talked to the boys parents and the boy was punished. I don't see why talking to them again will do anything?

    And children are often "interested" and try to find out. 50 years ago, we called it "playing doctor" and both sides male and female wanted to see and look.

    I think that first no one has even 'talked" to any of the kids to see what was happening or what was done.

    Often too much over reaction can at times cause harm by confusing the child also. A difference between childhood cursiosity and abuse.

    Having the 3 year old talk to the counselor is a great idea
    lareese's Avatar
    lareese Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jun 5, 2012, 01:43 PM
    I told the parents what happened they punished on their own at that point WE as the parents have not talked-I thought as a mother she would want to sit down and talk about it(the mother was at the store at the time it happened the father was at the house) and YES I have TALKED to my 3 year old PLENTY of times about her private parts-My thing is he is 6 and influenced her-She wouldn't have asked questions about her fathers pp if his little boy didn't want to play dr or whatever it was-He had her under the bed trying to be sneaky about the situation. I believe there is a difference but now that curiosity has brought on a lot more with my little girl :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    And you already talked to the boys parents and the boy was punished. I don't see why talking to them again will do anything?

    And children are often "interested" and try to find out. 50 years ago, we called it "playing doctor" and both sides male and female wanted to see and look.

    I think that first no one has even 'talked" to any of the kids to see what was happening or what was done.

    Often too much over reaction can at times cause harm by confusing the child also. A difference between childhood cursiosity and abuse.

    Having the 3 year old talk to the counselor is a great idea
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #5

    Jun 5, 2012, 05:11 PM
    You have to be careful about making too much of this. At 6 this boy is just exercising normal curiosity. I think you may have piquéd your daughter's curiosity by making too much of it.

    I think you need to go to the library and read some books about how to handles this. If you want to, invite the other mother to help you research. But the boy has already been disciplined so there is no discussion with the mother about that.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #6

    Jun 5, 2012, 05:53 PM
    You ARE making too much of this if you have talked to a three year old "multiple times" about inappropriate touching AND if you've talked to the other mother more than once.

    I agree with Scott - go to the library, talk to a therapist, do something in a calm manner.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #7

    Jun 5, 2012, 06:03 PM
    I'm with Judy and Scott -- and I am a retired librarian. Not only GO to the library, but talk with a children's librarian to find a couple of the exactly right books to check out and bring home. You seem to be over-reacting, so cool your jets and go about this with reason and care.

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