[jukiera]

My Ex broke up with me because of his grandma, she doesn't like me. At first she did but ever since I got together with her grandson things took a turn.he also said its not just her, he says he thought he was ready for a relationship but he's not and having a girlfriend is too distracting,meh also said there's some things he needs to work on himself with some things. He broke up with me rite after telling me he wasn't going to. He says he loves me unconditionally , I stopped believing him for a while.. we never stopped talking our relationship did not change.. it's like we together without the boyfriend girlfriend title... but I don't think I can just be his friend, plus I feel like he's not all mine, if we not together then I have no say when it comes to other girls.. do I even have a right to get jealous?

[VirtuousPlume]

You never have the "right" to feel anything. You just do.
You are being told you are loved, but you aren't given commitment. Does he guarantee you that he isn't going to date other girls? If he doesn't and keeps it vague, there is a very good chance he will.
Despite this I believe the main issue at play here is that you don't trust him enough to uphold what he says. Before discussing the actual causes of his ambiguity, I think you two should discuss this fundamental trust issue, as you are afraid (and perhaps rightfully so) that just because you lack a formal commitment he is going to eventually betray you.
If he truly loves you unconditionally what his grandma says shouldn't matter to him and if he isn't trustworthy enough for you to believe his ambiguous stance on your relationship, then perhaps you should consider putting some distance between him and yourself.

Ultimately, you are in an unfair situation that he has caused by acting in contradicting ways. The reality is that he broke up with you. Do you break up with someone you love just because your grandma doesn't like your partner or you are getting distracted? The answer is obviously "no" for someone serious about their feelings.

[DoulaLC]

He may feel that you are better off as just friends. He doesn't want to be in a committed relationship right now, and that is up to him.

Sure you will feel jealous if he does happen to go out with other girls, since you would still like to have him as a boyfriend.

If being friends is too hard, let him know. Sometimes it can be easier to just end the relationship when you are wanting more from it. You may find, after some time, that you would like to be friends with him... or you may not.

Focus now on spending more time with your other friends. Do things with them and with your family. Sooner or later you will likely meet another boy that you would like to start dating.

[jukiera]

Ooo noo I'm very committed to our relationship and to him.. the only reason I stopped believing the things he said is because he broke up with me and at the same time tells me he loves me and text me everyday.. if he loves me why break up but keep the relationship the same I don't get him but thank you both for your opinion, I will keep it in mind.. feel free to offer more

[jukiera]

And no he doesn't guarantee anything.. I haven't asked him about other girls except for his ex because a friend of ours told me the he said he still in love with his ex so I asked him about it and he said no so I left it alone

[drmilimili]

Maybe this is not an issue of him not loving you enough---Maybe He is just afraid of commitment, in which case there is little one can do to change his mind. You are doing the right thing by being patient and considerate.

It is natural that you feel jealous about him seeing other girls. There is no right or wrong in how you feel; and you cannot just sweep those feelings under the carpet. Pay attention to what those feelings are telling you about the relationship... because:

Only a relationship founded on an equal basis has the potential of becoming something beautiful and empowering.

[jukiera]

Thank you everyone for spending time on my thread.

[miss_a90]

This sounds like an awful situation and I feel sorry for you that you feel so stuck. As much as it's going to hurt it's obvious he doesn't know what he wants from you, he might be using the fact that his grandma doesn't like you as an excuse because maybe he can't figure out how he's feeling and doesn't know how to explain it to you. It's obviously up to you, but I know that if it was me, I would prefer the initial heartbreak by breaking up with him for good than feeling rubbish all the time because I didn't know where I stood. You need to take the situation into your own hands and stop letting everything be on his terms x

[jukiera]

Yea I agree with you when you say he maybe don't know what he wants. He told me all the time that he loved me then when he broke it off he says that he never stop loving and that he loves me on a friendly level right now, that his feelings changed for me "in a way." also I found out a week ago that he likes some oher girl that's his friend, but that he doesn't plan on anything happening between them. And I haven't heard from him since last week on wed. he always message me and stuff but I don't know where he is or how he's doing. This suck because I'm trying to move on and respect the fact that he wants to be friends but I still think of him from time to time... idk what's really going on with him or in his head, it bothers me because he shows like no emotion towards the situation, like he doesn't care Sometimes

[jukiera]

If you see some of my other questions many of you will know what's going on between me and my ex. So the thing is I thought I was over my ex and I decided to just be his friend like he wanted. He also likes someone else and I asked about the girl to wish him the best with her but after he said that they have the same feelings, it pissed me off. I told him how I felt and he doesn't care at all he was telling me to hook-up with my friend Alex. I told him to stop saying that and that he doesn't get it at all. Then he said he's getting off the chat with me. To sum everything up, I decided I don't want to talk to him anymore. Was I right to make that decision? My ex HATE saying "bye" he prefer talk to you later but after I said that he was like Bye

[DoulaLC]

I know it is difficult, but I think you did the right thing. Your feelings for him are still there and even if you don't realize it (but I'm sure deep down that you do), you are probably hoping that he will change his mind.

Now that you know for sure otherwise, being friends will be too hard. Maybe at a later time, after you have truly moved on, you might rekindle a friendship, or you might not.

You will think of him from time to time, that is perfectly normal, but as time goes on you will meet someone else, and your thoughts of him will become less and less frequent until he will become just a nice guy that you once dated.