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    lastAutumn's Avatar
    lastAutumn Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 7, 2007, 03:04 AM
    My boyfriend playing with my feelings
    My boyfriend says he loves me and actually we've been living together for 2 years now and have a lot of plans for the future. But the thing hehas recently done amazed me and I'm in two minds if I should leave him or not. He began communicating with a girl - an acquaintance of mine - so that she came to believe he's fond of her. But he intended just to make me feel jealous, but it all ended in a scndal and he went to her place late after work without warning me. I felt crazy in guessing what happened to him and where he is, but called her by chance and he was there! He says it is his revenge for my past flirting with others and that he want me to understand something I can't actually grasp. I saw the messages they sent to each other and we three knew what was happening. But he says it's a joke, he used the girl, and she, being utterly stupid is sure he will leave me to be with her.
    Such complicated a situation, so I just don't know what to do - leave him or not or anything else. I love him very much and we used to be quite happy before he got this idea of making me feel jealous. So is there a way out?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Feb 7, 2007, 06:46 AM
    Sure is a way out, and that is to leave him and your stupid so-called friend alone. Ain't that much love in the world for any one to take that kind of immature manipulation. Put him in the past and find happiness with a peace of mind that you don't have to play a game to get love. What he is doing is not love and take this as a warning of things to come, if you allow it.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #3

    Feb 7, 2007, 07:26 AM
    God there is a lot of drama there. Why would you really want that? I'd say get out now because the situation isn't going to get better.
    blueshadow_393's Avatar
    blueshadow_393 Posts: 35, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Feb 7, 2007, 06:25 PM
    I really think you should sit down and really talk to him about this, like a good long conversation and if he doesn't want to talk then mabye you should really think about ending it, he might be confused about his feelings OR he could be confused with you and mabye think your doing something, I wouldn't do anything to drastic until you know all the facts, and the only way you could do that is to talk to him

    And with this other girl, I think you should talk to her about it to. You don't have to tell her you two are together you could be like "hey you've been hanging out with this guy alot...what do you feel about him?" and stuff try to befriend her and try to get the facts.

    If he is truly making you unhappy though then I really think you should end it. Everyone deserves happiness and if your not getting it there then I would look else where.

    I hope this helps
    ForeverZero's Avatar
    ForeverZero Posts: 312, Reputation: 82
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    #5

    Feb 7, 2007, 07:24 PM
    Well, a question that needs to be answered truthfully, is what kind of flirting have you done in the past? I had an ex who was to naiive as to think that most the guys that she met at the bar actually wanted to be just her friend. That kind of ignorance kills relationships. So what kind of flirting is he accusing you of doing? I don't think this is an appropriate way to handle the situation on his side, however I also have to point out that I'd resort to something like this if I felt like attempts at civilized communication were being ignored.
    chosen1's Avatar
    chosen1 Posts: 60, Reputation: -7
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    #6

    Feb 7, 2007, 09:51 PM
    I don't think I have ever heard a positive thing come out of the so called relationship experts mouth (Tali)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Feb 8, 2007, 05:38 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by chosen1
    I dont think i have ever heard a positive thing come out of the so called relationship experts mouth (Tali)
    If by that you mean my advice is something you don't want to hear, you could be right. I'm not here to make anyone feel good, but to be honest and point you to solving your immediate problem with an honest long term solution. I realise the hard work my advice entails, but if you think about it, making yourself a better person who doesn't rely on the presence of another to make them happy is a very positive piece of advice. This is also a healthy way to live life in my opinion. If your looking for a quick easy solution to a complex problem, you have that option to follow another path. I'd rather be honest with those that come here. You have enough advice here, and the choice is yours as to what you do about your situation. Sorry I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear. If I'm wrong, express yourself.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #8

    Feb 8, 2007, 05:57 AM
    I agree with Tal,

    I do the same as well. I am not here to make anybody feel good. I am not here to stroke anybodies ego. I am here to tell the truth, but some people do not take to the truth well.
    Tals advice is right on.

    Joe

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