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chosen1 · Feb 5, 2007, 07:48 PM

So... Have had no contact with ex for quite some time... months.. after 3 yr relationship. Ex still tries to contact about once a week... but don't return her texts... anything sweet and harmless I can do to get her to miss me??

Skell · Feb 5, 2007, 07:51 PM

So she tries to contact you on a weekly basis and you don't answer but you also want her to miss you?

Why do you want her to miss you? Isn't she your ex?

Isn't this relationship over?

Little confused! Please fill me in!

chosen1 · Feb 5, 2007, 08:00 PM

Still care for her but she has a boyfriend that isn't the lasting type. We lived together for 2.5 yrs.. and I'm over the hurting but still think about her every day... I broke up w/ her because of dumb reasons thinking I would be better off, all I meet is dumb as* girls now.. I truly appreciate her now that I lost her. She still tries to contact me... in my opinion because she's not happy,or wants to get back together down the road, or who knows... the comfort.. or maybe her having me there will just help her get over me... she jumped into a few relationships immediately following ours... I have been chilling just dating... hope that helps

Skell · Feb 5, 2007, 08:09 PM

Well it sort of helps. So if you want her back why do you not answer or return her calls?

If you aren't answering her calls because you really want to get over her and move on then I say good and well. Continue that no contact and continue to move on. You are going a healthy way about it.

But if you are not answering her calls as a ploy to try and hurt her and make her miss you then in my opinion I think you are acting immaturely and playing games. And I have a feeling it is the latter. Others will disagree with me and advise you to ignore her so she misses you and wants you back, but I don't go along with that. It might very well work and in fact I have seen it many times, but in my opinion they are silly games and anything that comes of it will only fail again! The reason you have no contatc with someone is to work on yourself, relfect and help you move on to a better place.

So what's the go here? You want back a girl you dumped that is already in another relationship, that according to you isn't working and therefore she calls you all the time because she wants you back and is unhappy, but you don't answer because your just chilling and dating? And now you want to know what you can do to make her miss you??

Does this all sound a bit silly and immature to you? Sounds like what would be written in the journal of a 14 year old school girl!!

It seems as though she jumped into rebound relationships in order to get over you, and your right, they don't work and she is probably unhappy, but what makes you think that it would work with her this time? By your posts it doesn't seem like you have grown up or learnt too much in order for it to work a second time around.

Im not being judgmental or rude. Just reading into what your saying and I hope you don't take it the wrong way!

chosen1 · Feb 5, 2007, 08:14 PM

Thanks for your great Advice!

Skell · Feb 5, 2007, 08:16 PM

Originally Posted by chosen1

thanks for your great Advice!

No problem!!

Oh, and in answer to your first question, buy her 2 dozen roses and a big cuddly teddy bear. Girls love roses and teddy bears!

That should do the trick!!

chosen1 · Feb 5, 2007, 08:21 PM

Anything real unique or different.. don't wan't to get her the same thing her boyfriend gets her lol!

Copperhead6 · Feb 5, 2007, 08:51 PM

Wait wait, now I understand the ignoring her and you want her to miss you, but you are the one that broke up with her? Did I miss something? Lol sounds like you are asking for a little too much. If you broke up with her you are lucky she is even contacting you once a week! Either be with her or let her be but don't screw with her life if you aren't going to be rock solid for her!

chuff · Feb 5, 2007, 11:34 PM

Chosen1, I've just gone back and looked at some of your other posts.

You've got to come to grips with this. She's not any good for you. She's not any good for anybody.

She immediatelty hooked up with another guy then offered you sex on the side? Your doing coke? You need professional therapy. Seriously if she's willing to screw you while she's got a boyfriend doesn't that tell you that she was screwing other guys when she was with you? And doing coke is only ruining your body not hers. If you punish yourself it isn't going to make her love you anymore.

When this ended you should have ended contact permanently. Not 3 months. That is not enough. She is stringing you along emotionally. You've been on this site now for a few months surely you've seen this with other people here. It seems like it's the number one question posted. It's happening to you and you've turned to coke to cure this. Come on bro, you know that's not going to help.

But you have to end all contact with this woman NOW! Not after Valentines day, not at the after the relationship with the other guy fails. NOW. She has dragged your emotional healing progress out for months because of the contact. Actually she's made it worse because that's time you could have used for yourself and not her. And to turn to coke, I have a friend who watched two people die, I mean actually saw them collapse and die in front of her face while doing coke. My friend quit immediately. She didn't need a 12 step. Death was the cure for her. I hope it can be for you too. That woman isn't worth death. Quite honestly she isn't worth anything.

Your too good of a man to be caught up in this woman's emotional games. I'm really at a loss here because I just don't know what to say to shake something different into you that hasn't been said before.

You know we've all been dumped. Everyone of us. And it sucks. I'm not going to BS you about it. But your not alone in that club. I don't come from a great background but I've never done drugs and I rarely drink. That's just makes the problems worse and creates new problems. I'm emotional and searched for answers like you are but coke isn't it. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and say "yeah I got dumped it hurts like hell, but the pain will go away if I give it time." And unlike your ex who is going to spend her life jumping around being from one guy to the next unsure of herself and realizing she really isn't worthy of any true love, you can at least hold you head high and know that you are. So you struck out with her. That doesn't mean you have to throw the game of life away.

There are 3 billion other women out there. I'm positive that at the very least a 100,000 of them would probably appreciate and understand someone like you. You just have to let this one go, rebuild yourself a little and start the hunt for the 100,000 or so that might be interested.

chosen1 · Feb 6, 2007, 08:32 AM

Thanks chuff. I hear you on that one and I need to move on.

talaniman · Feb 6, 2007, 08:37 AM

Originally Posted by chosen1

so..... Have had no contact withe ex for quite some time....months..after 3 yr relationship. ex still tries to contact about once a week...but dont return her texts... anything sweet and harmless I can do to get her to miss me?????

So confused, you have been broken up with no contact and she still calls and you don't answer, but want her to miss you. You've been on this site long enough to know that its you who must make your mind up and know what you want. If you stay on no contact forget her missing you. If you want to know if she is missing you, then answer her calls. If your trying to move on seriously, tell her to leave you alone. Buy yourself some chocalate for V-day, and leave her alone.

valinors_sorrow · Feb 6, 2007, 09:03 AM

Next time say what you mean and mean what you say. Oh, and make sure your actions do likewise. When its over its over and when its on its on. When you are available you are available and when you are with someone else you aren't available. Those who like to blur those lines do so to play games. And gamers' relationships are never stable since you can always play another round of the game, can't you?

Integrity - its kind of the benchmark of emotionally honest people who don't play games.
It goes a long way in making a relationship successful too, by the way.

chuff · Feb 7, 2007, 02:52 AM

Originally Posted by chosen1

thanks chuff. i hear you on that one and i need to move on.

Do you? Seriously? Because I see that you posted another question about what to give her for Valentines day? Why not just open your wallet and give her cash.

Chosen1, I've never met you and I think your worth more than she does. So let me ask you, what is it your hoping for? Her to come back? Ok I think you can do better but since that seems to be your goal let me ask you, is what your doing working?