[Pleasehelpme411]

Hello, my name is Eric. I came here to ask for help. Obviously.
I'm 15. This happened 2 years ago, and I can't seem to get over it.

I'll tell you from the start, how this went down, from my eyes, 100% honesty.
2 years ago I was in school and met this beautiful girl, she had eyes that I could stare into all day. The relationship was going great, me and her went over each other's house every day, I walked her home, we would play around, flirt a lot, I'd draw her pictures(I draw) of us kissing. I'm not a guy who cares too much of a woman's look but she was beautiful and in shape. I couldn't go a day without thinking of her, we'd run up each other's cell phone bill just texting each other.

I'd hang out with her girlfriends(never flirted what soever) and then it just suddenly died, I guess I didn't pay too much attention to her, seeing as she was my first and only girlfriend, I was kind of shy just being around her, but it started to wear off, I'd get use to being around her, liking it day by day, then one Monday morning I woke up , called her and asked her how she slept, went to the park with her, and she was just acting like I've done something horribly wrong. Like she didn't care if I walked away or not. I didn't really get a closure, never did she said we're through, she just never talked to me again.

I guess part of my problem is that I can't seem to find closure, I don't know why it happened, when I treated her like she was a diamond, in a shell. She gave me a gift 2 years ago, from a trip she went on, and months after we broke up, ( and I swear I tore apart the house looking for it) I lost it, which crushed me more. I've had dreams of her ever since, not daily but enough to be a headache.

I don't know what to do, she doesn't want to talk to me, I don't see her anymore, I have nobody to talk to, not even friends, or parents.

I apologize for this being long I'm THAT type of writer where when I start typing out my feelings I don't stop for corrections or perfection.

I hope someone out there can help me or give me advise on what to do.. out of all seriousness my heart is still in shreds.
If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't say it, its not helping me at all.\

Thank you, to people who stuck through this and are kind enough to answer me.

[talaniman]

I can help, just listen. Her feelings changed and the intense good feeling wore off. That's normal for your age, both male, and female. It's a natural part of growing up.

Now as to your closure, just as normal, you can't accept it because you don't understand it, but the real reason why its still fresh, and confusing in your mind, is you have not replaced the old memories and feelings with new ones yet, and I suspect the reason is you have yet to build the confidence to let other people, places, and things, and fun activities into your life, so you can let go of the old, as you build on the new.

Just get busy for yourself, and the next adventure of life will reveal itself. Just like it took time to get comfortable around the first girl of your life, so will it take time to get comfortable around others, but it would help if you work on your confidence around new people, so you can experience, and enjoy new things, and make new friends.

[Pleasehelpme411]

Thank you, of course I wrote this long paragraph and it didn't submit, but to make it shorter, I've always felt like I'm in my place considering how bad the world is, because I don't want to be making stupid choices ( I know there's people that don't do drugs,bad things, etc) but I'm not 100% happy with what I'm doing , I'm a huge gamer, I've gamed almost all day considering I'm home schooled . Sometimes I'd game from 6 in the morning to 3 in the morning the next day. Fun to me, but I'm not happy. I've been into poetry, and drawing a lot. And I have a mind for creativity. I just don't have any places to go to, or anything to really do. (I'm sure there's lots to do, but I'm not into anything at the moment, like a program) Home school is probably the best for teens that learn on their own time, like I do, I don't like to be rushed with learning in a 7-8 hour day. But I'd like to meet friends. I just don't "Remember" how, if you get the drift really)

[talaniman]

You need some outside group activities. Sports come to mind.

[ScottGem]

You were 13!! That is too young to handle the intensity of a boy/girl relationship. She was obviously not ready for it. If you had been smart and waited until you were more ready for such a relationship it might have worked out better.

[Pleasehelpme411]

I'm pretty sure I was able to handle it, its just that she was very childish at the time and goofy which caused her to skew off the right path. I can't explain it, and the world now of days people are dating at 10. So yeah, expect a lot of people like me, I just couldn't handle getting back into activities. I may of not been 100% ready back when we dated but I'm more than ready now for a serious relationship, this really doesn't help though. Calling at 15 year old dumb.

[ScottGem]

Saying you weren't smart is not calling you dumb. And yes some people are dating that young. Doesn't make it right.

I'm sure YOU thought you could handle it, but your post tells us you couldn't. And yes it does help if you swallow your pride and listen. The truth may not be what you want to hear, but it is still the truth. And you would be well served to listen to the truth.

[Pleasehelpme411]

Its not about swallowing my pride its about people under minding teens thinking they don't know what they are getting into. I'm fully aware of what I got into, and pretty sure its not up to you to really judge if you helped me or not. I saw nothing in that statement but "Oh my god, your young, you don't know what your doing, she doesn't know what shes doing." I thank Talaniman for confirming what I should do, thought I'd ask an expert before I did something not knowing it would work. But now I've got something new to try.

[ScottGem]

Comments on this post
Pleasehelpme411 does not find this helpful : There was really no helpful advise, all there really was in this statement was just saying I'm young and basically foolish for dating at... 13 which if you look at the world, people date at (out of all seriousness) 10 years old. My comment explains b

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

This is another example of how you don't understand the real world. There are rules you need to adhere to. Your negative comment, which was totally inappropriate according to the rules will be removed.

You are a typical teenager. You cannot accept that adult, who have been through what you are going through but have learned better can provide you helpful advice that doesn't agree with you. Just because you don't like the answer I gave does not mean it wasn't good advice or helpful advice. It actually was both.

I didn't spell out what you should do, I thought it was implied, You need to get over this because you were too young to deal with it. There are many ways to get over a relationship like this.

As for UNDERMINING teens, I don't "think" teens don't know what they are getting into, I KNOW they don't. I know they don't from answering question on this site, from reading and personal experience. And yes it is up to me judge whether my advice was helpful or not. If you could judge, then you wouldn't have asked the question in the first place.

[talaniman]

Maybe kids are doing things at an earlier age these days, but that doesn't mean they know what they are doing. I think the whole point is that whatever youngsters are doing they need the guidance and supervision of older wiser adults to help them through obstacles and mistakes, some very serious and damaging, as they do find out what they are doing.

I mean we can't just have 10 years old learning things completely on their own, that goes for 18 year olds too, just because while the instincts, and feelings feel right, there are still boundaries of good behavior that have to be respected. And consequences for crossing those lines.

While some may be physically mature, its very dangerous to think you know the tricks and traps of life at 10, or 13, for that matter and have it all figured out. That's where the problems start, and even as adults we find there is always more to learn still, and the greatest learning tool is listening with an open mind. If you do not, you may miss an important fact you need to be aware of. So don't let your feelings close you mind to facts you need to know.

There is nothing wrong with not knowing what to do. The shame is not acknowledging it, and being willing to listen, whether we like the information or not. By not listening, we stop one of the greatest information gathering tool know to man, his ears, that are connected to his brain, from doing there proper job.

That's why Scott says what he says, because its all to true, and dangerous, to think a 10/13/15/18 year old knows what they are doing, not completely at least. And also as Scott says that's all to true, because they do it, doesn't make it right. By that logic, because they think they can they should be allowed too? I really don't think so.

[ScottGem]

Listen kid just get off my fourms, your arguing with a 15 year old and then you threaten my account being shut down

{MOD Note: this quote came from a deleted post.}

First I am not a kid, second you don't dictate who can and can't respond to your posts, third I never threatened your account.

I realize I am arguing with a 15 year old. And its because I care about what happens to you in the future that I am continuing to try an educate you. But even if I don't reach you maybe I will reach another teen reading this thread and who is more receptive to listening to wiser heads.

[talaniman]

Lets straighten this up, and you can file it for future reference. I have been the one deleting your posts, most of them any way, as its my job to clean posts. For the future, in a public forum, you cannot control what remarks you get, or how you get them, or from whom, and when you don't agree, move on and stay with the subject, that keeps your mind open so maybe you will see a lesson to be learned later.

But as of now, this thread is closed.