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lostintherain · Mar 17, 2011, 10:19 AM

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Hey everyone,
I have this really close friend who's a guy. I like him but he has a girlfriend who used to be my best friend. She and I fought and now we are no longer friends but I am still extremely close to him.

He usually tells me all his secrets and has told me I'm the only person he trusts. He usually tells me about the fights they have and they are usually about her being jealous of me and him hanging out so much. I have liked him for a long time and sometimes I feel like he likes me too.

I just want the best for him and his girlfriend does nothing but make him unhappy. He says he loves her but hates her at the same time.

I feel like I'm doing something really wrong but I just can't help it... What should I do?

southamerica · Mar 17, 2011, 10:23 AM

Oh yes you can help it, and you must. You stop liking him by spending less time around him and keeping communication platonic/non-flirty. The crush will subside and you will walk away with a clean-conscience.

Respect other people's relationships!

lostintherain · Mar 17, 2011, 10:28 AM

Thank you.

summer_girl · Mar 17, 2011, 10:32 AM

You should also realize that pursuing this one is only going to cause you pain. Look away, get busy with other things, and don't let your mind wander back there. You deserve happiness.

summer_girl · Mar 17, 2011, 10:37 AM

It's very tricky when you're attracted to a friend. Since none of you are married to other people, things probably seem fluid, as if they could go in other directions.

I don't think it will make you happy to get pulled in to their relationship, especially considering your history with his girlfriend. What I think you should do is pull back, and then their fights can't be about you. Either they will have no more problems, or their problems will be blamed on somebody else and not you. I think he needs to work through whatever is going on in that relationship and either mend it, or end it. But three's a crowd and you need to pull yourself out of it now. It's not a healthy thing for you, and you need to remind yourself that you're worth more than that.

I'm sorry. I know it's not an easy situation at all.

lostintherain · Mar 17, 2011, 10:43 AM

Thank you so much, that's amazing advice, I'll try my best

I wish · Mar 17, 2011, 12:04 PM

Check out this guideline for tips: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ip-463250.html

Often times when we have feelings for someone, we tend to twist their words and actions into thinking that they also have feelings for us.

The fact that he trusts you so much seems to me that he sees you as a really great friend.

stefka123456 · Apr 2, 2011, 11:39 AM

If you are a good friend you won't tell him. He has to make a decision whether to be withher or not by himself.

sassiecassie · Sep 3, 2011, 07:22 PM

Dude he likes u u should totally go for him forget your friend she not worth it he showing you the 'signals' that he is intrested in u ;)