[letsjustbereal]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. We are very in love and happy- for the most part- together. Our relationship has one main problem. His past. I have had a very difficult time accepting the fact that he previously had a girlfriend that he thought he was in love with.

They had broken up almost 6 months before we dated. We all went to the same school together, and I was the new girl. Before I really knew him, I would see him and her hanging out. They were just friends, but they seemed like more to me. She was so pretty to me. He would pick her up and spin her around. They would always be laughing and joking in the group together. But I guess there was a lot more that was going on behind the scenes. For a while I thought they were dating, and I thought there was no chance with him because he had her. But I was very wrong.

They were friends for a couple years. She was kind of obbsessed with him. She put a 'love spell' on him, by stealing one of his hairs. All to make him fall in love with her, because for so long she wanted him but he didn't want her. He finally 'gave in'. They dated for 8 months. She was his first. She treated him like crap, and cheated on him 3 times, yet still told him she loved him. She was a big cokehead and always partying. But he edured so much from her, and still tried to 'save her'. I just don't understand how he could let her treat him so bad, and still be loving to her. What made her so special? He said he felt bad for her. But... I just don't know. They eventually broke up. She dated a new guy the DAY after they broke up, that looks VERRRRYYYYY similar to my boyfriend. Weird? Yet after they broke up she still would call him and hangout and smoke him out with weed. He kept his distance but would still hangout with her.

This has been eating me up daily for 9months. It's the only thing we ever REALLY fight about. It is SO out of hand.

Also, this girl made my life hell while I was at school. As soon as me and him started dating, she started talking so much **** and stirred up SO much trouble. I tried for a few months to be the nice girl, but it got crazy. I ended up getting in a fight with her friend, who tried saying that I stole him away from them. Then later, I got into a fight with her and kicked her *** too. But it didn't really make me feel any better. She also tried to put some voodoo curse on me, because she is heavily into wiccan. She kept trying to rub it in my face how 'close' they were and daily little stuff like that. She also asked him out a month before we dated, and he denied her. Which makes me feel good, but I just wonder if the only reason he doesn't want her anymore is because she hurt him too much. For some reason that hurts me.

My boyfriend is SO loving and patient with me about this insecurity. His love is a gift from above. I can't let this ruin it. I just cant. Its too precious to me. But it hurts to know that he loved someone before me. She didn't deserve it and it kills me that he gave it to her...
He tells me no one compares to me. He says that he will love me forever no matter what. He says he is COMPLETELY over her. He says that he never truly loved her. That he was stupid and he thought he did. But the fact that he tried to love her so hard... and tried to save her... kills me. I know its just his loving nature. But please help me. Any advice is appriciated. I have never talked to anyone about this.
Im just so tired of feeling like I'm living in her shadow... or constantly having thoughts of her and him haunt me. Its literally killing me...
Can anybody relate??


Its a sick obbsession :\

[redhed35]

It sounds as if your boyfriend is over his ex but your not.

Everyone has a past and as you get older that can get very murky,people make choices and decisions for themselves based on the circumstances they find themselves in at the time,he did what he thought was the best at that time.

Perhaps your jealous?

Let the past live in the past,don't let it ruin a good relationship today,either accept he loved someone else before you or move on.

He's with you now,he loves you not her.

[Aleeravilu]

You seriously need to get over this.
Why are you so hung up in the past? Let it go! Stop comparing yourself to her. You two are two different people!
You're so insecure about yourself, this will lead to many troubles in the future for both you and your relationship.
And you're wondering how in the world he could choose someone like her? Well, that's freaking called making mistakes, falling, learning the lesson and moving on!
You should know that there are A Lot of people out there (Including Me!) are wondering why the hell did He break up with Me to go with that B***** only to end up getting kicked away.
Yes, those stupid idiots dumped Us for Them, but we had to get over with it.
He dumped Her for You, you should be happy. Not sitting here and whine about how could he be crazy enough to give in for someone who loves making people's lives miserable like her!

[jmjoseph]

The windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror.

Don't ruin the present, and possibly the future, by dwelling on the past. What's done is done.

Give this guy a break. Or you're going to lose him.

Good luck to you all, especially him.

[talaniman]

You may have kicked her arse, but you are allowing her to kick your a$$ without laying a finger on you.

Get over it quick, or she wins and you lose.