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Sales2011 · Dec 8, 2010, 11:49 PM

I have a man, he is actually a good man. We been together off and on. One of those times we broke up, he came back to me with a baby. Now things have changed greatly in our relationship for the good. Thing is, I don't know how to accept the changes going on. In a way my heart is broken, what can I do in order to keep this man? What can I do to accept the things that has happened? Ive prayed and all, but I'm the type of person that speaks my feelings, I can't hold it. I love him, we been through a lot and I really want this man to marry me. I just don't know how to cope with the fact he have another child now.

Andrew916 · Dec 9, 2010, 12:28 AM

So he went out and got someone else pregnant? How long were you guys separated for?

Sales2011 · Dec 9, 2010, 05:49 AM

1 year

Jlesnik33 · Dec 9, 2010, 06:10 AM

I always believe everything happens for a reason, and as much as its hard to accept changes getting back together, Its what your going to have to do if you love him as much as you say you do.

Now he has a few month old baby? Trying to put it together separated for a year, takes nine months for a baby. Im just going to assume the baby is a few months. You can't hold it against the child either, she or he didn't ask to be born, but he or she was, and that's a gift. And as much as it may make you feel uncomfortable because your not ready for a child, you have to accept it, this baby is going to be in his life forever. And if you really can't accept that, this relationship can't work.

To make you feel a little better about the whole thing, I would sit down with him and have a serious talk.

There is nothing I can really say for you to accept this, its something you need to find in your heart to do, and see how it turns out.

If your not happy in the long run though, there is no on holding you back you can leave at any time.

Devorameira · Dec 9, 2010, 06:39 AM

You knew he had the baby when you went back together, so if it bothered you that much, why did you go back with him?

You need to do some serious soul-searching before you proceed with this relationship. He will always be tied to the baby and will always have to deal with the ex.

If you were to marry him you would be the baby's step-mother, so you need to consider that. If you can't treat the baby as a member of the family and accept the situation as it is, then you need to move on.

rbilow · Dec 9, 2010, 07:15 AM

How long did you break up that he came back with a baby? I mean it takes over 9 months to make a kid, then I don't think he left the hospital with the kid after it was born. So. When you decided to date again you began dating a single father. As a single father myself I can give you some advice as I see it. A woman can accept me AND my children or move it on down the line. I can get another woman anywhere. My kids are mine for life.

Sales2011 · Dec 9, 2010, 05:15 PM

When we got back together, the girl was like 2months pregnant

talaniman · Dec 9, 2010, 09:09 PM

I would certainly give an on, and off again relationship a lot of thought before getting back into it. You have to many unresolved issues between you, and now he brings even more obligations, and responsibilities than before, back to this on again thing.

You couldn't accept each other before, I doubt you will now. Especially when the on goes off again. I think you need more than acceptance, you need a lot of honest communications, to keep this ON.