[chevy10]

Ok,so I met this girl when I was 15 we started dating shortly after and everything was great. We dated for 5 YEARS straight no break ups or breaks.. she moved in with me and we lived together for a little over a year and every summer that we were together she would always go on vacations with her parents. Me Ive never been hardly anywhere well my family and I went to Florida world for a week, it was my first vacation ever the only time I had ever been away and she had been at home. Was down there a week and while I was down there in the begging everything was fine (talking to her on the phone) then towards the end I started to notice something and I had a gut feeling something was wrong I knew it was coming but I didn't want to believe it. I knew there was nothing I could do while I was down there so I was just like ill wait till I get back and hopefully my gut is wrong... well got back on a Fri at like 8pm was so excited to see her I missed her and couldn't wait to talk to her about everything that I did down there... I walk in and sat my bags down gave her a hug and right then I knew something was wrong I asked her what was wrong and she said that while I was gone she had been doing a lot of thinking and said the she was breaking up with me. She said that we were all we had ever known (which is true) and she kind of enjoyed the single life while I was gone (she said nothing happened, and I talked to friends that were with her and vouched for it) and she felt that we both needed to get out and experience what else is out there... I was devastated she meant more to me than anything(keep in mind too when we dated if she ever wanted to go out with her gfs or anything I never once told her NO or anything). Its been 6-7 months since we broke up I ended up deleting her off Face-book shortly after we broke up just because it was too hard to see her on there all the time. We didn't talk much at all after the break up I just tried to move on. About a month ago I stopped into her work just to catch up and see how she was doing we talked for a few and I told her if she didn't have anything going on in the next couple weekends to call me and maybe we could go get something to eat and catch up more. She gave me a look like I don't know if that's a good idea or not and I said just as friends I promise she said OK. Of course didn't hear anything from her and I like a couple weeks ago I ended up just getting in the mood and I was like I don't care anymore I'm done trying, tired of thinking about her I'm just through I tried... well a week ago she requested me on Facebook as a friend... it blew my mind I didn't know what to think... I waited like a week before I accepted it and now its bringing everything back again I don't really know what to do or what to think about it... is it just a simple friend request or does it mean something else? Somebody please help... any opinions or advice would be greatly appreciated..

[Andrew916]

It sounds like she thought you were ready to be friends again but that's evidently not the case. I hate to break it to you but that friend request was just that... a friend request. It's tough to do but you need to move on and get out there. It seems like any presence she has in your life will just hinder that and until you move beyond her you need to maintain a no contact with her. If you don't I have a feeling it'll be one step forward and two steps back. It's tough love but if you want to improve your life and go beyond to find bigger and better things you need to leave her in your past, it'll be the best thing for you though it might not seem like it now

-Drew

[pandead]

Things are OK when you aren't in contact with her.
Everything goes bad when she wants to come back.

Do the math. Don't let her come back and destroy what you are trying to build (a new life without her) until you're ready to be "friends" - with these circumstances, you may never be ready and it's OK really - until then, go NC and focus on yourself. Good luck!

[simii]

She just wants to be friends I guess and that's what she is thinking you too want from her but with you that's not the case to get out of a relationship and move on is really though and hard but you are trying your best to do it so just don`t let her come and destroy everything you have been doing. Being in a relationship for 5 yrs is a big thing so you will need more time to get over her. Don`t be in any contact with her anything if you are missing her also than also don`t. remove all your pics with her destroy all her cards and letters or gift (if you have not done it yet). It will help you a lot and to tell you this she is not planning to come back to you so you have to learn to live a life with out her and its going to be for good only. You are single so enjoy your single hood don`t cry for her as it dose`nt bother her at all. So live your life and you are trying to do good for yourself with out her so keep doing that trust me you will need time so give yourself that time and try to be happy and be in NO CONTACT with her and try to move on... hope it helps and good luck

[talaniman]

Breaking such a strong attachment of 5 years will take a lot longer than a mere 7 months, but if you just stick with No Contact, as you adjust and rebuild your life, it will get better.

Talaniman Rule- Don't get sucked in the confusion of being friends, at the expense of your healing