[redrumx3]

I'm going to try to make it short.

They meet and immediately start dating, a month later he proposes before he goes to prison. She would be at my house every day, happy, bubbly, etc, since they'd been together she barely spoke to me. Never came around, was miserable when I did see her (we have class & work together) and never had any money even though it was always like her to manage her money well. He leaves once (prison), she comes around a little more. He comes back, she's gone again. He leaves again (prison), she comes back again and admits he's a user. While he was gone, she was around every day, started being herself again, was happy and the life was there again. She talked to me about everything and I listened. I stood by her side through it all because even though I wanted her out of the relationship, it was her decision. I even went to his court hearing with her. She swears up and down if he doesn't go to rehab the next day she'll leave him.

It's been a couple months. I barely hear from her at all. He's not in rehab. This whole time he's been living with her under her father's roof (shes 20, he's 34), no paying rent or anything.

So here's my real question: Last week she wore a shorter sleeved shirt. There were small bruises on her inner elbows. I didn't say anything, hoped to god it wasn't what I thought. A coworker came up to me very concerned, and stated (having been involved in nursing) that she was positive my friend had track marks on her arms. I freaked. I talked to her brother and told him everything. My mom (whom she was very close to) spoke to her dad. My friend texted my mom saying my coworker was lying about everything, that her dad says it was ridiculous someone would say that, the bruises are from wrestling, that I seemed like I didn't care, never try to hang out with her, and he's not using. The thing is, I supported her fully, then she withdrew from everyone again. She claims she's happy and when "he's successful and on top" we'll see she was right. I always asked her to do something until she withdrew again and turned it all down. How can I support her decision anymore when everyone can clearly see she is absolutely miserable again? I can't support that and as much as she thinks we're against her "happiness", she's completely wrong. I hope she's right and she is happy, I truly do, but I don't believe it for a second. Did I make the right choice in speaking to her family? I know I jumped to conclusions but as much as I've been through with this I don't even care if she hates me, if in the end I did my best to help her.

[Kitkat22]

It's up to her father to throw him out of the house. If she's using drugs there's nothing you can say to her to make her stop. She'll have to hit rock bottom.

If he's on parole and has to be drug tested he could be in big trouble. Be sure you know you're
Right about this before you approach her again.

[EXYZNFC]

Dang you got yourself in one of those complex situations. All right here is what I have to say. A lot of times women (stupidily) fall for the jerk over the guy who is really nice to her and cares for her. You'll see this a lot. The main reason I'v heard is because women (generally) want something that is hard to get so playing easy doesn't work much. This leads them to jerks that can push them around all day. This type of crappy behavior is encouraged by modern culture and its up to your every day person to try and do what is right. Now you from what you said don't absolutely know the whole situation so the only thing you can really do is think and conspiracy theorize. So did you do the right thing in taking action and informing her family, well going to general conclutions isn't always the best thing and it can get you in a lot of aquard situations (trust me I KNOW), BUT doing nothing and regreting it in the future is no good either. So you have to find you happy medium in between, not to light nor to heavy. He's 14yrs older than her (again women going for older men) and this whole situation doesn't seem right (no duh).

The most effective way you can fix this is try handing the adict a Bible or/and get a GOOD preacher to speak with him. Also getting you and this woman to read the Bible and trying to understand would be good to. You may be the one who wants to fix this but let God do the work, you never know he might be using you to try and get her out of this situation, I DON'T KNOW. That's about all I have to say.

-Christ Bless

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So here's a huge update to this, please help!

I've since spoken to her family, nothing was done. Her behavior just got worse. During paycheck day, the 30th, she came in to work in the morning completely freaking out. She called everyone in the office looking for her paycheck, and my supervisor got a call from another department saying she was in the hysterical searching for her paycheck. The person lent her $30 for her "co-payment". This was unmentioned, and she asked another person for co-payment money. Then, come to find out, she,two days before, stole $80 out of MY wallet! We were at work, and I was in the room with her! And she smiled in my face right after she did it. I didn't have any proof and didn't want to believe it, so my supervisor had our public safety investigate it. The investigator talked to me, then the next day I find myself in the room with her and the investigator is telling me she confessed. She did not seem sorry, only sorry she was caught. And she claims she took it for her co payment! She hasn't talked to me since, and is supposed to pay me back on the 15th. If not, I can 1. put an arrest warrant on her, or 2. since it happened on school grounds (we work at college), can put an academic complaint on her. I am choosing one or the other if she does not pay me back, because she needs to realize there are consequences. Instead of being fired, she sent my supervisor an email saying, "I'm quitting my job. I'll be there on the 15th to pick up my paycheck".

I've tried talking to her family again but they've ignored me. What in the world do I do? I'm done with the friendship at this point but there's got to be one more thing at least I can do to get this leech out of her life!