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oriley101 · Jun 24, 2010, 01:24 AM

Hey my name is ray I met this girl about 3 yrs ago which I had started catching feelings for... I never had "girl" problems before but she would always hit me wit the "i only see u as a friend" line... and it stayed at that for a bit until I told her I was moving away for a while, then that's when she apparently she starting have feelings for me and even telling me she loved me, we would have our "moments" and she even broke down when I left... I was gone for about a year and half but would still talk to her but after a while it kind of just died out I still felt for her when I came back... but it was different I even tried to starting things again but she told me the friend thing again and I recently found out she has a boyfriend... I even played the role with her but she would just tell me why am I acting differently... I know she's just playing games but I don't know what to do... iv been with girls that were a lot prettier but she just has that affect on me I guess it's the personality... I try getting over but cant... what should I do

talaniman · Jun 24, 2010, 08:12 AM

Harshness warning

Maybe stop trying to get over and leave her alone would be a great start, my friend as she has a boyfriend, for crying out loud and has no time for your player games.

Go play your role somewhere else with a dummy who will fall for it. Then you may be able to get over. That's why you were rejected, even as a friend, because, not only were you selfish and disrespectful, you came with game instead of being real.

Like she was just supposed to go behind her boyfriends back and do the wild thang with you! That's how you come off.

parisrose · Jun 25, 2010, 08:32 AM

She has moved on. Maybe she did have feelings for you before. But things have changed.

She has a boyfriend now.

If you aren't able to be her friend without it hurting you, then you need to let go of her.

Devorameira · Jun 25, 2010, 09:40 AM

A lot changed in the year and a half you were gone. After things died out, she replaced you, so it'd be wise to move on and quit playing games.

Cat1864 · Jun 25, 2010, 10:10 AM

How is she playing games? It seems to me that she has been honest with you about her feelings. You are a friend. In the year and half you were away, did you see other females? Did you really expect her to wait for you?

I really think part of the appeal of this female is that she isn't available emotionally or physically.

positiveparent · Jun 26, 2010, 01:13 AM

Leave her to get on with her life which she's doing quite nicely.

You get on with your life, that's respect for her and yourself.

oriley101 · Jun 27, 2010, 12:43 PM

OK everything you guys are saying makes complete sense but... I seen her a couple times with her boyfriend but she gives me those long pause looks and when I try to just go my own way and move on she tells me if am I acting like that with her? Smh -_-

talaniman · Jun 27, 2010, 01:42 PM

oriley101 : OK everything you guys are saying makes complete sense but... I seen her a couple times with her boyfriend but she gives me those long pause looks and when I try to just go my own way and move on she tells me if am I acting like that with her? Smh -_-

Are you saying she contacts you? Are you saying she thinks you act that way with others? All that really doesn't matter when you're in the friend zone, and she has a boyfriend, and she thinks all you want to do is get over on her. Which you do by what you have written. Please clarify.

oriley101 · Jun 27, 2010, 02:26 PM

Yea she is always contacting me and even wants to see me when her "bf" is not around... you might be right that none of this matters when your in the friend zone...

talaniman · Jun 27, 2010, 04:23 PM

oriley101 : yea she is always contacting me and even wants to see me when her "bf" is not around... you might be right that none of this matters when your in the friend zone...

Personally guy, I wouldn't put up with that kind of game from a female with a boyfriend. And it is a game, of stringing you along, making you continue to chase her, knowing full well how she feels. When you press for more, in time and attention, she will always fall back to her having a boyfriend and her feelings for you are of friends only. In other words, its your fault all the way for wanting more.

The sad part, is she would be absolutely right, as it is you trying to get more from a person who is unavailable for what you want. A romantic interlude. Don't be used in this way, don't let yourself be so blind in the wanting of romance you can't enjoy your life, and see better options, and opportunities you have besides her. For now, she is an un-needed distraction, because you can't be friends without getting carried away by your feelings. That's why you leave her alone, so YOU realize she ain't the only female around, or the only one you should be paying attention to.

You shouldn't be just stuck on her, as its rather obvious she is NOT stuck on you. She has options.

And thanks for the rep, but you can have better input by posting in the "answer this question" box, at the bottom.

oriley101 · Jun 28, 2010, 12:30 AM

Damn you just made this situation real clear... you hit the spot with the "un-needed distraction" cause I guess it even started affecting my job... and I guess it is my fault for wanting more the two things that bothered me was just I know she got