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jo_dy · Apr 6, 2010, 01:45 PM

If only I could put on here the sort of thing he has done that I do have proof of, I doubt one person would say to stay with him.

You can't help who you love and I think I proved that with him, it's a shame he didn't have any respect or love me to not lie and stay faithful

jo_dy · Apr 9, 2010, 02:07 AM

Well, its been a few days since I last posted and I have had a real up and down time. I have had all kinds of grief from my ex in phone calls and texts but they really haven't bothered me, I am already beginning to put myself back together, slowly, but I'm heading in the right direction. I am finding more and more lies as the days go on and am thinking thank goodness I'm not with him. Everyone's words of wisdom have helped me everyday. Thank you all :) x

jo_dy · Apr 14, 2010, 12:15 AM

Hey everyone... what can I say it was just getting easier then I see him, we talk and now I feel almost as bad as before!

He was he's usual self, charming! And I played the I don't care act. BUT after all I can do is think about him... im trying my hardest to do nothing but think of the reasons we split and hang onto them... its got very hard again

Kitkat22 · Apr 14, 2010, 04:42 AM

Originally Posted by jo_dy

Hey everyone........what can i say it was just getting easier then i see him, we talk and now i feel almost as bad as before!!

He was he's usual self, charming! and i played the i dont care act. BUT after all i can do is think about him.......im trying my hardest to do nothing but think of the reasons why we split and hang onto them.........its got very hard again

Jodi... he's pulling you back again... DON"T FALL FOR IT" you will be right back at square one. He knows what he's doing... He sees you getting independent and it makes him mad... No Contact:(

jo_dy · Apr 15, 2010, 04:36 AM

What amazes and upsets me and makes me angry is that he has managed to get in my head again and have me thinking about him... im doing everything I can to think and do other things to occupy me but he lingering in the back of my thoughts!

Argh I hate it that I let him, its not like I don't know what he is like and what he can do and I allowed it.

Its my own stupid fault really, was feeling good and strong then see him and I'm almost back to square one again!!

Won't make that mistake again but here I am again feeling miserable :(

Kitkat22 · Apr 15, 2010, 05:04 AM

Originally Posted by jo_dy

What amazes and upsets me and makes me angry is that he has managed to get in my head again and have me thinking about him........im doing everything i can to think and do other things to occupy me but he lingering in the back of my thoughts!!

Argh i hate it that i let him, its not like i dont know what he is like and what he can do and i allowed it.

Its my own stupid fault really, was feeling good and strong then see him and im almost back to square one again!!!

Wont make that mistake again but here i am again feeling miserable :(

Okay... Start doing the the things you did before at square one. If just one time you could put all that hurt and anger and feelings
For him aside and see him for what he is.

Make a list of all the things he's done and don't leave out anything.
Add how you felt when he did those things. It will help.. The anger will be replaced with regret of how you have wasted your time and tears
On a weasel... Try It!! :)

JudyKayTee · Apr 15, 2010, 06:30 AM

My suggestion would be to print out and read this thread every time he crosses your thoughts, particularly this post:

"If only i could put on here the sort of thing he has done that i do have proof of, i doubt one person would say to stay with him.

You can't help who you love and i think i proved that with him, its a shame he didnt have any respect or love me to not lie and stay faithful."

Only you can walk away - and, yes, it's hard. If you can't have contact with him without hurting, then stop having contact. I wouldn't read his texts or respond to his phone calls.

I only responded to my "ex" when he left a message on my answering machine and it required an answer. Otherwise I listened and erased and didn't pick up any emails, imails, texts, cell phone calls.

ohsohappy · Apr 15, 2010, 04:36 PM

Don't you fall for it hun! I know you're stronger than that. You can do this. I like Tal's suggestion, I think you should print out the thread.

Kitkat22 · Apr 15, 2010, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by ohsohappy

Dont' you fall for it hun! I know you're stronger than that. you can do this. I like Tal's suggestion, I think you should print out the thread.

Judy Kay and Ohso and Tal are right... print it out! Hugs:)

jo_dy · Apr 16, 2010, 12:30 AM

I am only able to do the NC to a point as we have a child but I can keep it to that ONLY.

I have printed it out and it is helping, thanks guys and gals. It is getting easier again everyday as I remember why were not together

JudyKayTee · Apr 16, 2010, 07:27 AM

It will still have ups and downs, peaks and valleys, but eventually it does get easier.

And as I said earlier - one day you won't even care!

Good luck!

Kitkat22 · Apr 16, 2010, 12:04 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

It will still have ups and downs, peaks and valleys, but eventually it does get easier.

And as I said earlier - one day you won't even care!

Good luck!

You have to move on hon... :)

jo_dy · Apr 18, 2010, 03:29 AM

I can't wait for the day I don't care, the day I don't think about him... I have never felt so lonely and alone :(

myagony1234 · Apr 18, 2010, 05:51 AM

Originally Posted by jo_dy

I can't wait for the day i dont care, the day i dont think about him...........i have never felt so lonely and alone :(

Yes, it is. You should feel lonely while you are working on healing.
However, the reward will be huge, you will start with a right man who loves you, respects you, and most importantly deserved you. He will not break your heart like your ex.
Be patient! Good Luck! :)

dontknownuthin · Apr 18, 2010, 07:16 AM

You truly will get to a point where you don't care. It takes different lengths of time for different people, but it can't even start in earnest until you wash your hands of being involved with him. There are a lot of support groups for divorce and I'd recommend you join one ASAP. They are usually free, meet at places like local churches, and you'll meet other people who are also navigating this process of ending one life and starting another. You'll find people to join you for a movie or dinner, and it will help a lot with the lonliness. It will also help you work through the process of healing faster and with some guidance so you learn as much as you can. I regret that when I divorced, I waited 6 years before joining such a group. Yes, there were some people who I didn't connect with or who were too self-absorbed, but I found two true friends and they helped me a great deal.

Kitkat22 · Apr 18, 2010, 10:25 AM

Someday... You'll wonder why you spent so much time on this guy... We're here if you need us.

jo_dy · Apr 18, 2010, 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

You truly will get to a point where you don't care. It takes different lengths of time for different people, but it can't even start in earnest until you wash your hands of being involved with him. There are a lot of support groups for divorce and I'd recommend you join one ASAP. They are usually free, meet at places like local churches, and you'll meet other people who are also navigating this process of ending one life and starting another. You'll find people to join you for a movie or dinner, and it will help a lot with the lonliness. It will also help you work through the process of healing faster and with some guidance so you learn as much as you can. I regret that when I divorced, I waited 6 years before joining such a group. Yes, there were some people who I didn't connect with or who were too self-absorbed, but I found two true friends and they helped me a great deal.

I am not involved with him anymore, there has to be the odd conversation due to our child but other than that there has been nothing... I feel stupid for thinking about him what feels like everyday and knowing at the same time he won't have given me a second thought, its odd though because I don't want him to think about me but it still hurts that I'm the only one hurting! I wish I could make it stop

jo_dy · Apr 18, 2010, 02:11 PM

I was talking to a counsellor the other day and they have said he shows all the symptoms of a sociapath... when I googled it I was shocked by how accurate it is to him and how I have had a lucky escape!

But knowing all this why can't I just out him out my mind and get on, I sit dwelling on it and him getting nowhere but further down.

Kitkat22 · Apr 18, 2010, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by jo_dy

I was talking to a counsellor the other day and they have said he shows all the symptoms of a sociapath......when i googled it i was shocked by how accurate it is to him and how i have had a lucky escape!!

But knowing all this why can't i just out him out my mind and get on, i sit dwelling on it and him getting nowhere but further down.

Sociapaths do not change. Don't even talk to him Jodi... he's dangerous. He's like a ticking time bomb. Don't be his victim anymore!

jo_dy · Apr 19, 2010, 03:21 AM

I do wonder what's wrong with me, I feel sorry for him! Im pretty sure I'm the only one hurting and that's been dumped on and I feel bad for him! How does that make any sense? I think from what I have read it is all part of his problem (sociapath) that I got sucked in and now I'm getting out its messed my head up. All I want is to feel happy again. It seems so far away and even further the more I think about him. How do you stop thinking about someone who has been such a big part of it all