[mccarm91]

Okay, I'll get to my question, but it is essential that I give some background on the situation.
I'm a freshman in college and I'm madly and deeply in love with a good friend of mine who is a senior in high school. We've known each other for 10 months, and I've been madly in love with her since then (love at first sight).

I have never felt like this before and I can GUARANTEE that I never will again. I love her more than anything, and there is nothing that I wouldn't do for her. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I love her more than anyone loves anyone on this entire planet (strong statement, but please, trust me). I hope to meet with her during this thanksgiving break or some time very soon so that I can tell her. I will not tell her that I'm in love with her, as most girls are driven away (out of fear) by the words "I love you." I plan on telling her that I knew that I'd miss her since I left for college, but I never knew it'd be this bad. I really like her a lot, that there's no one that I care for more and that she means more to me than anything. Also, I will tell her that even though she does not view me as more than a friend (she said so), I have another side to me, one that she has not seen, and I want the chance to show her it. I've been what she's desperately been looking for all along. We have many similar interests and can easily relate to things. I just want the chance to show her, and I can give her way more than anyone else can ever give her. I will say all of this then conclude by telling her that I just want the chance to show her the other side of me that she hasn't seen (what she's been looking for... trust me, I have it), and saying "will you be my girlfriend?"

I would greatly appreciate any feedback on this situation. Also, what are your thoughts/opinions/suggestions on everything that I will say to her?

Thank you!

[Jake2008]

First thing that comes to mind is what is it about you that she has not seen. I presume that you are in contact with her regularly via Facebook, IM, etc?

What makes you think that she will change her mind, and consider you more than a friend.

Also, I will tell her that even though she does not view me as more than a friend (she said so

Not knowing the circumstances of why she told you that, she probably already knows how you think about her.

Trying to win her over isn't going to be easy. The worst thing you can do is come off as pushy or needy. Think of it as cultivating a garden. Plant the seed, feed it, nurture it, and with any luck you'll have love blooms as a result.

What is the distance between you both? Is a long distance relationship part of the problem?

You might try suggesting, before the break, that you're hoping to meet up with her to take her out. Somewhere quiet, where you can talk.

If you get the impression that she'd be interested in another date, set something up for a couple of days later. With time being short due to the break, be prepared to let the truth out as to how you feel, and even just ask her to consider a relationship with you. She either will, or she won't, so be prepared for the latter.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[h_leann_b]

I agree with Jake. Don't start by confessing your undying love for her. Don't ask her right away to be your girlfriend. Try to get together and go on a date. Best way to find out if she could have an interest in you any other way. Don't push it.. if she doesn't want to don't get mad or upset. If it doesn't work out, you WILL get over her.. you think you won't.. but trust me. We all have felt this way once :) Good Luck

[liz28]

I assume the two of you had this conversation before since she said what she said.

Don't go home expecting something out of a movie to happen because we can't always get what we want. It is part of life to life to like someone and what that soemone in your life as a partner but again it doesn't always work that way.

You can do what Jake suggested but after that leave it alone if her answer is still the same and take the focus off her and start dating.

[I wish]

Calm down.

You're not the first person to fall in love so deeply and you're not going to be the last.

Telling a someone that you love them before you're even a couple would scare them whether it's a guy or a girl.

Take it one step at the time. Like the others have said, have you been keeping in touch with her all this time?

1) If you have, then you can tell her how you feel when you see her and see if she feels the same way.

2) If you haven't been keeping in touch, then maybe you should start communicating again before confessing your feelings to her.

[jaime90]

You met here 10 months ago- trust me on this, you don't know the girl as well as you should. In my opinion, love at first sight is based on just that: sight. You saw what she was presenting and you liked what you SAW, but what about her behaviors, her personality, her pros and cons..? You did not fall in love with the girl at first sight, you fell in love with the SIGHT of the girl at first sight... clearly.

Here's a story, I can relate: I met a "good" friend about 6 months ago- and, I hastily asked her to be a bridesmaid in my upcoming wedding. Unfortunately, I found out that she was lying to her boyfriend, and her boyfriend was lying to her. When I broke it to her gently that her boyfriend was looking at cheating on her, she got angry with me, flew off the handle and hasn't talked to me since. We had several of the same interests, and she was one of the only female friends I've had to hang out with since I was 13.

You cannot get to know someone in 10 months, decide that you more than like them in 10 months, AND fall madly in love with them in 10 months. That's a lot of emotions being thrown around in such a short amount of time on your part.

I will say something here that you probably won't like: I do not believe that you love this girl. I believe that you FEEL like you love this girl. Love isn't a feeling, it's not an emotion- realistic love takes work, commitment, trust, and a lot of effort on your part- and hers (which she, at this point, doesn't seem interested anyway.) in order for a relationship to survive, you need to realize that love is a choice- a real thing- and, ideally, a life-long commitment.

You have many things to think about before you go telling a girl that has stated very clearly, she IS NOT interested in you, that you love her madly.

[Rockursock]

Honestly, I feel for you man, however I think you will completely ruin your chances with that approach. Especially asking her out like that. Unfortunately, relationships (common misconception that women are just like this men are too) are dependent on want, and we all want what we don't have or better what we don't exactly know. You never want to flat out tell your emotions, but show them. Anyway, she probably already knows this. Somehow, try to show her that side of you that u talk about in pieces. Make her want to know more by only revealing bits at a time. This will be hard since she already knows u pretty well. GOOD LUCK. I bet you're a nice guy that most women would be lucky to get with. My good friend is the same way. BUT

[Rockursock]

Continuation of last post...
BUT, you and my friend both are too nice to women and come off as needy and desperate. This is such a terrible reality because men get a terrible image due to this, when there are so many nice guys out there.