[screaming2]

My 2yr old screams all the time and I have used the time out chair, stand against the wall, the get down to his level and talk calmly to him. We hate going to go out to eat its like quick get in get out, before he starts to act up and scream. And its not little scream its at the top of his lungs. He kicks and hits and screams. I don't know what to do I don't want to spank or yell but I don't know what to do? And he wakes up in the middle of the night like maybe two times and just cries and screams for his sippie cup.
Please someone help us:eek:

[Mistique]

Oh goodness... you poor thing! I can relate (and I know the desperation)... it's the terrible twos! Lots of other mom's tell me that they don't grow out of it right away... sometimes they continue this behavior until about 4 (I would imagine that, that is the worst case scenario - I am also in the terrible two's and the pending terrible two's :)). He will get better eventually, I noticed an improvement in the later half of the 2's.

All I can say is patience (though sometimes your overextended at times) and calmness (talking in your regular voice). For your son, when you put him in time out (though most agree that he is a little too young for time out's)... only leave him in time out for about 1 - 1.5 minutes... monitor it (as you have) and keep the time out place one place you use repeatedly. Give warnings (1, 2, 3, Time Out Method) or... what I do is the 1, 2, 3, taking this toy away (or something of value - since my child developed "attachments" (mine)). Most importantly, talk to him about what he did wrong, why it was wrong (owwee or hurt feelings - simple words) and what would be better next time. If he talks as much as mine does, he can comprehend what you are saying and after redundant/repetitive reinforcement he will learn to understand. It's trying to find effective communication and addressing his emotions. I also found flash cards for that... actually for behaviorism and for potty... etc... try your K-mart (here Walmart) or children outfitters to find them. This way you can interact with him positively and teach him the right behaviors without "reacting" to the bad ones.

Give him options... options, options, options... as if he is the one making the decisions. For example, why don't you come talk to mommy when you want to. Or, you can have a treat after you have lunch... not saying NO but rather After... negotiation. At 2 I noticed the worst thing I could say was NO (after that, that is all they understood)... yes is a powerful word... use it when you can. This sets boundaries for him... if he is really pushing it; don't give in because then he will know... eventually I will get it after I kick and scream! Stay firm, calm, monotone and patient. Praise him when he does something good and show him why something is wrong. Don't bribe him... bribery is bad... eventually he will have to be a good boy to get what he wants but then what happens if he can't be a good boy without any reward? Praise him with your hugs, kisses and claps!

For going out... well not much of a discipline there... make reservations, choose a child-friendly (family) restaurant, know the menu, order food right away, bring extra snacks/toys for waiting for the food, feed him while you eat... order the bill... have cash on you and get out. It may be quick but hopefully a bit less painless!

Research and read up on the toddler stages and there are other options out there... sometimes the best thing a mommy can do is help herself by trying to find other sources she can relate to.

P.S. You and your partner need to go out and enjoy yourselves once in a while... a special treat!

Good luck!

[MsMewiththat]

Simple as it sounds... Don't give in. Don't encourage or re enforce the behaviour. It's going to be important that you be consistent and stay calm.
I think that they can sense a weakness and that weakness will only encourage the behavior.
When going out to eat, leaving the restaurant really sends them the message that they have won. This maybe bad advice, but I used it. Don't leave. If you don't become alarmed and stay calm and speak calmly they get nothing out of the behavior and they stop.
Best of luck

[MsMewiththat]

Adding... that you have to allow for proper sleep,stimulation, play time, excersise and set schedules, proper diet. IF you feel that you have more than the average two year old on your hands discuss your concerns with your pediatrician.