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innuendo · Sep 30, 2009, 05:33 AM

Hey everyone,

I was wondering what everyone's opinion of being light is like. Some of you have a vision of what you being light would be like, others are already there. To those who have achieved your goal, what are some of the differences you have noticed about being light? Are you treated better or less? Do you get positive or negative comments? Has being light made your life better or worse? Thoughts?

DarkSkinGirl · Sep 30, 2009, 07:40 AM

You get treated better and noticed more. I haven't reached my desire color but I am pretty sure of this

shazamataz · Sep 30, 2009, 07:42 AM

Originally Posted by DarkSkinGirl

You get treated better and noticed more. I haven't reached my desire color but I am pretty sure of this

Ahhh but did you get treated better and noticed more because of the color of your skin... or because of your CONFIDENCE in knowing that your skin was lighter?

People who exude confidence are a lot more attractive than people who feel like they are hiding behind a mask, no matter their color.

DarkSkinGirl · Sep 30, 2009, 07:45 AM

Ahhh but did you get treated better and noticed more because of the color of your skin... or because of your CONFIDENCE in knowing that your skin was lighter?

People who exude confidence are a lot more attractive than people who feel like they are hiding behind a mask, no matter their color.

Nope. Men are very visual. When you look a certain way, they respond. It's really all that simple. Confidence has nothing to do with it.

If all it took was confidence then all these dark people wouldn't be bleaching. Instead we'd be wasting money on self help books to get more confidence.

shazamataz · Sep 30, 2009, 07:56 AM

Originally Posted by DarkSkinGirl

Nope. Men are very visual. When you look a certain way, they respond. It's really all that simple. Confidence has nothing to do with it.

If all it took was confidence then all these dark people wouldn't be bleaching. Instead we'd be wasting money on self help books to get more confidence.

It's not really that simple... my looks haven't changed since I was about 16...
I used to be a very shy girl, I hardly talked to anyone.

Then one day I just decided that I wanted to have more confidence in myself and forced myself to talk to people I hardly knew which was a huge boost for my confidence.

I got asked out on my first date... not because I had 'improved' my looks, but because people noticed me more because I was there rather than being the invisible girl in the corner.

I'm not saying looks don't matter, sure of coarse they do, but it isn't everything... if you don't believe in yourself and have confidence in yourself you are still never going to get a decent guy.

Anyone who is lightening their skin should also be doing some self reflection and confidence gaining exercises.

Now I know this is just going to open up a can or worms from all the defensive lighteners so I will leave it there and not reply further.

nikkicute · Sep 30, 2009, 10:22 AM

I totally agree with you Shazamataz's.
It is CONFIDENCE! (in knowing that your skin is lighter).

When I was in high school one of the most popular girls was dark skinned. She had confidence! BIG TIME! Her hair was always done nice and she even had a couple of outfits that were bright colored, fluorescent colored, colors you'd think someone that dark would not even wear. Everybody liked her, she was just cool.

Let's face it, for some just because you lightened your skin doesn't mean you actually got better looking. LOL! But you FEEL better looking, therefore you act differently and people notice.

For the record my skin lightening has nothing to do with men.:rolleyes: I am doing this for myself. Yes, men are visual but not all men respond to the same things.

Ever seen some of those celebrities go from brunette to blonde? When they go blonde the wardrobe changes too (more skin showing). Do blondes have more fun? Nope! It's what you attach to having blonde hair that makes you think you are.

Same thing with having plastic surgery, some have it thinking they will be happier some are and others have deeper issues the surgeons knife will never reach.

Confidence has everything to do with it.:)

innuendo · Sep 30, 2009, 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by shazamataz

People who exude confidence are a lot more attractive than people who feel like they are hiding behind a mask, no matter their color.

I agree! I also think that reaching you're desired color does enhance your confidence and that in itself makes people more attractive.

BrownDeceit · Sep 30, 2009, 02:10 PM

It's part confidence. But it's part physical as well. I started bleaching when I was 15. I'd say I went from kelly rowland to meagan good's color. And I get SO MUCH more attention. SO MUCH more. And it's positive attention. And I never hear comments about being too dark anymore. I notice men flock to me before they go to my darker friends who sometimes I think are prettier than me. Darker skinned people even kiss up to you sometimes. It's sick how the society works.

innuendo · Sep 30, 2009, 02:45 PM

Brown Deceit,

Were those comments about 'being too dark' from black or white people? I ask because I had those comments too, but most of all my friends are white so obviously they would make a comment like that. I got the 'you have at tan' or your 'so dark' here and there, but not in way they did mean was I unattractive or not good looking, they were simply making an observation about my skin.

so sexy · Sep 30, 2009, 02:55 PM

My older daughter is what they call Yellow bone, Very Very popular. However my baby is dark skin and she too is very very popular. I do extras like make sure her hair is always nice and pretty and she keeps up with fashion, she is very young but I only buy the best for them all but her clothes and all help. It's crazy but that's how the world is. Very judgemental. My kids are all gorgeous light and dark.

BrownDeceit · Sep 30, 2009, 04:04 PM

Originally Posted by innuendo

Brown Deceit,

Were those comments about 'being too dark' from black or white people? I ask because I had those comments too, but most of all my friends are white so obviously they would make a comment like that. I got the 'you have at tan' or your 'so dark' here and there, but not in way they did mean was I unattractive or not good looking, they were simply making an observation about my skin.

These comments are coming from BLACK people. Black people and asian people are the ones who have hurt me the most with comments about my skin color.

innuendo · Sep 30, 2009, 04:23 PM

Well obviously Asians are going to be rude. They are strict about being LIGHT because all their celebrities are light skin and the whole class is lighter and darker means poor thing they have going on over there. Its been like that in Asia for years.

BrownDeceit · Sep 30, 2009, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by innuendo

Well obviously Asians are going to be rude. They are strict about being LIGHT because all their celebrities are light skin and the whole class is lighter and darker means poor thing they have going on over there. Its been like that in Asia for years.

Why are you getting an attitude? You asked me. And I told you. Calm down.

innuendo · Sep 30, 2009, 06:52 PM

LoL, I am not getting an attitude. I was just trying to make a point about stereotype in Asian countries. Sorry if it seemed I came out with an attitude? I too have experienced some nasty comment sfrom Asian women in particularly.

BrownDeceit · Sep 30, 2009, 11:25 PM

Originally Posted by innuendo

LoL, I am not getting an attitude. I was just trying to make a point about stereotype in Asian countries. Sorry if it seemed I came out with an attitude? I too have experienced some nasty comment sfrom Asian women in particularly.

When you said 'well obviously... ' it sounded rude. But if you didn't mean it that way, then never mind the matter. And oh my goodness. I had an asian roommate last year. And whenever she saw mixed african american women with very light skin tones, she would go on and on and on about how beautiful they are and how wonderful their complexion is. And how black women should all be light in order to be beautiful... mind you at the time I'm probably letoya luckett's complexion. It was extremely disheartening to hear. But I didn't want to show that I was affected by her ignorant comments. So I just smiled and nodded as if I wasn't paying any attention to her. But it really hurt!

shazamataz · Oct 1, 2009, 02:55 AM

Originally Posted by BrownDeceit

whenever she saw mixed african american women with very light skin tones, she would go on and on and on about how beautiful they are and how wonderful their complexion is. and how black women should all be light in order to be beautiful.... !

If a white person tell you that your skin is too dark tell them they look too pale and they need to get a tan.. it works both ways.

EggoMini · Oct 7, 2009, 07:39 PM

I've never been light so I have no idea. I have been darkish (from tanning or just not caring) and medium (regular skin care, spa visits).

The only ones that seem to notice a difference are some Black American men or super shallow people.

IMO, Beauty is more about your body and facial structure, health and attitude so I don't feel more beautiful when I'm lighter.

I do feel less patchy and freckley.

When I was younger, I used to tan to look more even (and look more exotic) but I was going in the wrong direction as far as long-term effects, anti-aging, etc.

If a person or people don't like me milk chocolate but suddenly like me when I'm more caramely, they're not the folks for me anyway. My husband is even cool with what I call my calico patchwork coloring.

I'm excited to find this site w/ so much product info, reviews etc but a bit sad about so many flat out wanting an entirely new waaaaaay lighter skin color forever(that whole vitiligo medicine thing is scary).