[amicon]

Hello-sorry I missed your previous post.

I hope your're well-as for your question,as you still feel the need to ask, I would say block her.
:-)

[harriejansen]

Hi Monica! I was missing you already... haha, well, I just let it be. Blocking her would be reacting to her unblocking me. But you are right, I am still fascinated by the situation. I wonder if she is going to make some move. I won't!

[amicon]

Yes,good point actually-leave it as is.
Its all water under the bridge,though,don't you think?

[harriejansen]

I am not really sure, to unblock somebody in Facebook you have to take some steps, it makes me wonder what she is thinking. I still would like to see her in person. I am OK with the situation now, funcioning normally, but obviously again around here, so... it has stirred something up.

[amicon]

Sleeping dogs is what I say-though your reaction is understandable.

If she was truly interested in getting in touch,she knows where to find you.

[talaniman]

Not familiar with Facebook, so explain why you have to do anything besides what you have been.

[harriejansen]

OK Tal, I'll explain. In Facebook you have "friends". People post their photos, stories etc. online, and exchange conversations. If you like somebody, you add them as your friend. If you are neutral, you are no friend, but people can find you on Facebook and see what you post online. If you really do not like somebody, you "block" them, which means that the person who you blocked, cannot search for you, cannot see that you are on Facebook, cannot see anything from you, and vice versa.

What she did, already when we were in our "relationship" is block me. You can block somebody in Facebook, but when you create a false profile, or look the person up in Google, you can still see that they actually do have a profile. It is a kind of cyber stalking, which I admit I did (and I think everybody on this site)

So... she unblocked me. That means, she can look at my pictures, things that I do on Facebook, like saying hello to friends, participating in activities etc.

To unblock somebody, you have to take some steps. It is not something you'd do accidentally. You have to go to your "block list" then choose the person you blocked, accept several warnings "if you unblock this person this means they can find you, interact with you, etc." and then proceed with the unblocking act.

This is what she did. My profile is pretty public. So she can see that I am organizing a sailing trip to Ibiza, who I have added as friends, which events I plan to attend. She also knows, that when I search for her name, she will show up again in my result list.

It is a long story, but I think Facebook is a very relevant factor in your work here, as it is a virtual connection with a person that very much influences interactions.

I hope this gives you a bit of insight. If not, just create a Facebook profile, and I'll add you as a friend, and you'll see what it is all about!

[talaniman]

Thanks, but no thanks with th FB thing. So why is she not blocked by you, so she is effectively cut from your life... again, and wouldn't that end the speculation of what her brain is up to??

[harriejansen]

I think the blocking thing is rather childish, I mean, would you block me? Or any other person? So I decided not to react to her unblocking me with blocking her.

And... obviously I am still not ready with this. That's why I came back here, to share this with you wonderful people. This silly unblocking thing has made me think that she might me looking for contact with me. I will not contact her, but again, it has triggered something in me that has made me come back here.

[harriejansen]

Ah, and I could not block her before, you can only block people you can find, and obviously I could not find her to block her... I think FB now changed that by adding the possibility to block email addresses... still I do not want to block her.

[amicon]

I'm not a fan of Facebook,its messed up numerous relationships on this site and it does encourage the cyberstalking you mentioned.

Now this has got you back to overanalyzing some actions of hers and the can of worms is open again.

[hungtoronto]

You were only with her for 6 months and after almost a year and you can't forget her? Do you like her for her looks mostly or does she have other good qualities as well? You're not doing proper NC. You are doing it with the hope she'll contact you and spying doesn't help. I guess you got to learn it the hard way once before you realize it. Just read your post. You are dealing with a very smart girl. She knows the game very well and will inflict pain on you if you keep trying. It has been almost a year. If she wants to come back she would have tried to contact you by now.

[Newguy2009]

This silly unblocking thing has made me think that she might me looking for contact with me.

Look, its been almost a year since you two broke up. My guess is that she is being polite and trying to let bygones be bygones. It's a mature thing to do and she may even want to be friends.

If you are not ready for that (friends, cause that's all it can be) then you need to stay off Facebook completely. You can read my story on how I used to check my ex's blog and every time it was a setback and made me feel like crap trying to analyze everything. Its been over two months since I've even heard from her and I don't really have the desire. Now a year down the line I might consider being friends, but even that I doubt after what she did and the way she abandoned the relationship.

[harriejansen]

Hey guys! Thanks for your input. She isn't doing anything, not being polite, no friends, nothing, she just unblocked me for whatever reason. That is all. I am not in her friends list or whatever. I was just wondering why she'd do that, as unblocking somebody is a conscious action. Also, we are Spanish and French, things are not exactly the same here as in the US. Anyway, I very much apreciate your input. The last time I saw her was in June 2009, we had hours and hours of wild... well anyway, and never saw her again. That is frustrating.

[hungtoronto]

Hey guys! Thanks for your input. She isn't doing anything, not being polite, no friends, nothing, she just unblocked me for whatever reason. That is all. I am not in her friends list or whatever. I was just wondering why she'd do that, as unblocking somebody is a conscious action. Also, we are Spanish and French, things are not exactly the same here as in the US. Anyway, I very much apreciate your input. The last time I saw her was in June 2009, we had hours and hours of wild... well anyway, and never saw her again. That is frustrating.

Is this an ego thing? I know you're a successful business guy. I guess it's the ABC (always be closing) rule. Failure is not an option.

I guess it's different in Europe, you guys are more open to one night stand lol. Voulez vous couchez avec moi ce coir, Oui Oui.

It doesn't matter where you are in the world, the NC theory is the same. Everyone from this board are all over the world.

If you're trying to get back with her for the sake of little head then be prepare because it going to cost you. But I guess you can afford it.

[myagony1234]

Harriejansen,
I think you have too much free time in the foreign country.
Why don’t you date other attractive girls? It is beautiful spring, and you left her year ago. It is really perfect time to move on.

[harriejansen]

I am organizing a sailing trip to Ibiza, we will be around 10 large 50 feet yachts and around 80 people. My problem is not dating other people. My problem is that I am stuck on her for whatever stupid reason! I was fine forgetting about her, but... anyway, I am 46, and I think I've seen a lot, lived in 8 countries, blablabla, 3 kids, blablabla, but this girl has done something to me!

[myagony1234]

anyway, I am 46, and I think I've seen a lot, lived in 8 countries, blablabla, 3 kids, blablabla, but this girl has done something to me!

Yes, brain damage.

[harriejansen]

Lol

[harriejansen]

Hi Myagony, I have been reading your "case"... wow... talking about brain damage!