[Zachihifhjihdihufj]

I'm 16, and dated this girl who was 18 for 4 months. We had a great relationship, and things seamed to be going perfectly until one day I get a text message saying she would call me when she got out of work. She apparently needed sometime to think, and the next day she just decided to break up with me. We started dating at the very end of the school year (I was a sophomore and she was a senior). She's in college and just recently got her own apartment. She actually broke up with me like a day after getting it coincidental eh? She told me that she had all these feelings for me, and I knew I was in love with her/still am. She said she has all this freedom now, and doesen't want to be "tied down to anything", but I'm pretty sure that she'll date some other guys soon. I don't know what to do, I don't want to move on, I want her back. I haven't cried this much in my life, which is about everyday, and just barely a month since we broke up. I'm still a bit confused, and wish I knew how to get her back, she just seams perfect for me, I never thought I would fall this young in life, but it happened. So yeah... any suggestions?

[jeffatl]

At "this young in your life" you will fall, and fall, and fall again for girls. The truth is VERY few people stay together from high school and get married (unless a baby is involved). College is a time where you get out and find yourself, and I think it's a good thing for you NOT to be with this girl while she is going through this time in her life. Girls seem to go through this "crisis" a bit more than guys do, but you have to just let it go. You are only 16, there will be PLENTY more girls for you. It hasn't even been a month, just give it some time. It took me a WHILE to get over my ex, don't expect it to just *POOF* go away. Each day WILL get easier, and you will be just fine. Go out with friends, talk to some new girls, and NOT your ex... DO NOT TALK TO HER!! Best of luck to you!

[tabhishekreddy]

I can tell you don't even try to go back of her this would make you feel bad if she doesn't respond to you the way you want her to.I am facing a problem similar .if you try to be still more generous and try to go back of her she will not even turn back to you instead she may hurt u.so back off immediately trust me if you were true from your real heart leave it to god she will come back if she doesn't she doesn't deserve you as simple as that may be you may get a better girl who will understand you in & out.You are too young to take all this you will come across many such loves in your future,someone somewhere is definitely made for u,you should not loose her.take every failure as a lesson and think what has gone wrong and don't just do it again.better speak to your parents tell everything happened to you they may scould you in the beginning but they will surely support you and make you much stronger.

Take care buddy wishing you all the goodluck.god bless you with what all you wish to have.

[talaniman]

The two previous answers are excellent for the advice they give. I suggest you stop contact and move on with your life and learn to enjoy your life without her. It may take time but eventually you will put this behind you and see what a big world with endless possibilities this is.

[Wildcat21]

Yep -great answers - as hard as it may seem - move on. NO CONTACT - NONE. She may come back. Be a MAN.

When you put too much inportance into things - this happens.

[J_9]

I just have to say

"Ouch the age difference!!" Although 2 years really is not that much, it can be in this certain situation. Between 16 and 18 can really be a huge difference, much more so than 30 and 32, at least developmentally.

I agree with every answer you have so far. Keep your distance, be a man, and see what happens.

[s_cianci]

No doubt she wants to feel her oats right now. Just starting college and getting her own apartment, she's tasting real freedom for the first time in her life and no doubt wants to savor as much of it as she can. That's why she doesn't want to get tied down into anything right now. I'd just back off and forget about her for now. I know it'll be hard at first but get yourself involved in other activities that'll leave you little time for worrying and obsessing about her. Concentrate on your studies, join a club or team at school, take up a hobby, hang out with your own friends, date other women, get a part-time job. You need to be able to enjoy life just as much without her as with her. She's on her own right now and isn't coming back anytime soon, so don't hold your breath waiting on her and letting your own life pass you by.

[Zachihifhjihdihufj]

I don't think I could deal with no contact. I talk to her online about twice a week, albeit our conversations aren't very long, and I still see her sometimes, and we get intimate. She says she still cares about me and "loves me", it's all very confusing. The last time I saw her she was openly flirting with other guys, which was a bit weird for me, but I guess I still want to see her occasionally, even though I might have to witness stuff like that. Thanks a lot for all the advice though guys.

[Skell]

See how much she loves you when you stop contact. Does she love you or does she love that she controls you.
Pull away and see if she comes running.
It is the best way to see if she really loves you.
If she doesn't come then you know you were wasting your time anyway!

[sirbaron]

I'm 16, and dated this girl who was 18 for 4 months. We had a great relationship, and things seamed to be going perfectly until one day I get a text message saying she would call me when she got out of work. She apparently needed sometime to think, and the next day she just decided to break up with me. We started dating at the very end of the school year (I was a sophmore and she was a senior). She's in college and just recently got her own apartment. She actually broke up with me like a day after getting it coincidental eh? She told me that she had all these feelings for me, and I knew I was in love with her/still am. She said she has all this freedom now, and doesen't want to be "tied down to anything", but i'm pretty sure that she'll date some other guys soon. I don't know what to do, I don't want to move on, I want her back. I haven't cried this much in my life, which is about everyday, and just barely a month since we broke up. I'm still a bit confused, and wish I knew how to get her back, she just seams perfect for me, I never thought I would fall this young in life, but it happened. So yeah...any suggestions?

This is not the end. Time heals. You'll be in love again next week.

[Geoffersonairplane]

Girls seem to go through this "crisis" a bit more than guys do, but you have to just let it go.

Yes, I agree with this advice from jeffati. Guys go through the wild guy stage too but women do seem to need a wild girl stage.. Take my thread, classic example of a YOUNG woman who felt she missed out on something... being single and having fun.. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...elp-39548.html

Hate to be the one to hammer it home, but this girl probably won't be coming back any time soon if at all. She is having fun with her new found freedom, she has her new flat and probably wants to date a series of guys before she decides on settling down with that one special person.

does she love you or does she love that she controls you.

Good point from Skell, and by keeping in contact with her, you give her that power, that control.. Even if you do it online.

You need to be doing the same things she is doing right now. You are far too young to be in a serious relationship at this point in your life. You need to date other girls, have fun, study hard, work on finding out who you are and what you want.

Evidently, at the moment the only thing you want is her back, but in time you will let go of this hope and Move On!! It should not take too long since you only dated her for 4 months but you should perhaps give it some more time.

Forget being friends with her. What do you think that will do to you once she starts seeing other men? Unreciprocated love/feelings is a very painful situation to be in. I have been in that situation when I was your age and that was not even love, just a vision of what it could be.

TRUST ME! Walk Away and enjoy your life! You are young, so much more to experience and between the ages of 18 - 25, you will have a whale of a time doing it if you allow yourself to.

[moyra]

You can't deal with no contact but you can deal with her "openly flirting with other guys"? Hello, wake up and smell the coffee bud, she does not love you or she would not act like this as it so obviously hurting you.

You are her puppet and she's pulling the strings! Please try Skells suggestion and then you will see if she loves you.

It is difficult when you are this young it feels like your whole world has caved in but even though it might not be much help just now believe me when I say time is a great healer. There is lots more girls who deserve your love, she does not!

[Geoffersonairplane]

I agree with all the responses.

I think this guy may have taken the advice (hopefully) though because he has not replied in over a month..