[addy]

OK I'm sorry for asking, because I'm sure people ask these questions all the time.
And I wouldve scanned through to see if anyone had but honestly who does that.

Moving on.

OK so I have been dating my boyfriend for a couple of months now, but I've known him forever and plus we were in the "talking"stage a good 8 months before we started dating.
When we dated, he was really nice to me, but there were little things about him that I just hated. And plus he was really just rude to other people. I always called him on it, but I just figured boys are all rude to each other so whatever.
So we were doing pretty well, despite my casual thoughts of dumping him, but every time I thought about it I realize how lost id be without him, and how much it would hurt him.
Up until I went on this trip last week.
He didn't go, but a lot of people from our school did.
Including one guy who I never really knew, but I had just casually thought was goodlooking. Well we became friends over the course of two days.
Turns out, they hate each other.
But that's not really the problem.
So we hung out a lot, and I guess I might of flirted with him a little (prolly more like ALOT) in spite of my boyfriend, and because he's fine. And honestly, I think he was flirting back a little.
He was really nice and after meeting him and hanging out with him, it was the first time I had really seriously thought about dumping my boyfriend. But then I reminded myself not only is he like two years older(which isn't a big deal) he had a girlfriend in college for about 2 1/2 years.
Red flag.
He's dating a girl in college.
But they were having problems, as were me and mine.
Talk about original plot for disaster.
Anyway, I just tried to block the idea of us possibly liking each other out and figured I was just over analyzing everything to were it seemed like he liked me.
But then I realized I thought more about him than I did my boyfriend.
And we texted and whatnot, then I talked to one of his friends who asked me if I liked him.
Thinking 1.he has a girlfriend.2.I have a boyfriend. 3.dont want to freak out this kid in case he doesn't because I want huim as a friend, I said no.
Then we got into deeper conversation(me and his friend)
Turns out, the boy was the one who thought I liked him.
So I texted him about how I was sorry if I came off that way because he had a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend and I didn't want to cause drama.
He never texted back.
So then I just figured whatever.

A little while later he texted back and said he did like me.
And I said I liked him,
And then we both went to a banquet that night where we did see each other and yeah, made it rather obvious.
But my boyfriend was there too.
So I felt bad, I was kind of mad at my boyfriend and somewhat snubbed him, then kind of stabbed him in the back. Well not really I gave this other guy a hug before he left and didn't give my boyfriend one. Which was rather ty but whatever.

So I knew immediately I would have to dump him.
I wasn't prepared to cheat on him, but I figured if I liked this guy then I obviously must not have as strong feelings for my boyfriend than I thought.
So I dumped him.
And it was one of the hardest things I have ever done.
He kept persisting why and I couldn't tell him anything more than "it wasnt right that i date him"
(because it would just hurt him more to know I dumped him because I liked someone else)
So I did my very very very dead best to let him down easy.
And honestly, I did.
But he called me later.
I cried, which not to sound strange or anything but I rarely do.
It was just upsetting.
I didn't want to let him go, but I knew it wasn't right for me to treat him the way I treated him that night.
He kept begging for another chance(I told him he had done nothing wrong)and it was just horrible.
The following day he looked so horrible.
I just felt like a horrible person for dumping him.
I cried several times that day, just thinking about how I would miss him.

But the deal is that I like this other guy.
And he likes me.
And even though this guy isn't the whole reason I dumped my boyfriend,
I still feel horrible.

So did I do the right thing by dumping him?
I miss him A lot and I just figured it would take awhile for me to get over him.
I mean I really do care for him and I didn't want to hurt him.
I kept apologizing.

But its wrong for me to be with him and like this guy.
I understand it was probably not smart to throw away a relationship with a guy I've known forever for one I haven't known a week.

So id really just like anyone's advice.
My friends told me I did the right thing but they are of course my friends and back my decisions like cardboard.


So please.
Tell me did I make a mistake?

[justcurious55]

I don't think your mistake was dumping him. And think the mistake is thinking that just because this other guy says he likes you you're going to be dating him now. While he still has a girlfriend... unless he dumped her and I missed that part. My advice, be single for a bit and figure out who you are without a guy. You were only staying with the other guy out of pity for him and what seems to be a lack of confidence in yourself. It sounds like it was time to leave him. You said there were things you just hated about him. Big red flag. But it took you maybe being able to go from one guy to the next to finally dump him. Try being friends with both guys if you want for a while but I'd recommend a break from dating period.

[Gemini54]

It sounds to me like you had doubts about your BF from the start. You were never really easy with him.

So along comes Mr. handsome and charming, and you're really looking for an excuse, I reckon.

but its wrong for me to be with him and like this guy.
I understand it was probably not smart to throw away a relationship with a guy I've known forever for one I haven't known a week.

Well, you're right, but you can't have your cake and eat it too. Just admit you wanted out and perhaps next time listen to your gut feelings about guys. It's not the end of the world not have a BF.

Just chill for a while and stop overanalyzing.

[Jake2008]

I agree that it is a good idea not to be involved with anybody for a little while.

Nor is it fair to either party if you go back to your boyfriend for all the wrong reasons, or if you date the new one, who is already in a relationship.

I also agree that the red flags would have come up either way, and you are wise to take a break, even if that's all it turns out to be, in order to figure out what you want to do.

[N0help4u]

You need some YOU time and break up with your boyfriend but don't go after this guy that already has a girlfriend and would be a rebound for both of you.
Break up with the boyfriend. Tell him that you can not deal with his rudeness toward others any more.
Take time for yourself and to clear your head and emotions.
Ask this other guy where things stand with his girlfriend. Then tell him that as long as he has a girlfriend you do not want to get involved.
If 'n when he does tell you they broke up, make sure it is true and no chance of them getting back together.
Then get to know him and make sure he is boyfriend material.
Guys have a way of really hitting it off with a girl until they are in a relationship to the point he thinks he can take you for granted.

[addy]

Kay thanks you.
Its actually funny you all said that.
Because that's exactly what I ended up doing:]]
I appreciate you taking time to answer it though.