[myboys31]

I've been friends with this girl since 1st grade, we're now 30, she has always done everything I do. Now it's gotten to a point where we're adults and it's still a competition. I'm in a happy loving marriage and have 2 great kids, she's in a terrib;e relationship, where her mother bought her her engagement ring, house and supports her and him completey, she has a kid and of course is having another. He was terrible when she had the first and she was miserable and who was there to pick up the pieces. When she told the first time she was thinking of having a baby I told her it might not be a good idea, but she gets whatever she wants, I can't handle her with another one. I have a great life and am so happy but for some reason she BOTHERS me so much, I literally get upset. I just want to tell her how stupid she is and don't want to be her friend anymore, but then I look like the bad guy, I need her out of my life, how do I nicely do that where I don't look that bad??
Any help

[linda cannon]

MYBOYS maybe u could approach it this way... just tell her that you are feeling uncomfortable with the relationship and would like to back off a little. Maybe you can gradually get her out of your life without dropping a bomb on her and dumping her friendship all at once. And don't worry about how you look. Life is just too short

[N0help4u]

Tell her that you have tried giving her good advice and you have enough problems of your own that makes it hard for you to have time to bail her out of the problems she has created going against your advice. Ask her why she doesn't make her husband stand up and be more of a man.
I know you don't want to sound mean but sometimes people need blunt. Just find the best way you can to word it.

[liz28]

It really doesn't matter how you tell you because she's still going be upset regardless. I understand what your saying and understand how someone negativity can bring you down and rain on your parade.

However when you tell her don't result to name calling. Just simply tell her how you feel in a nice way and how her behavior makes you feels. She may or may not accept it but at least you spoke your peace. And you never know maybe after the smoke clears and after she absorbs what you said she might straighten her life out and one day you can resume a friendship with her.

[dontknownuthin]

Drift away. If that won't work, be caring but honest and let her know that you find her family situation abusive, and that as long as she's unwilling to get out of the situation, you cannot be there for her because it is too upsetting and draining, and you want a more positive life without this type of ongoing drama.

[tammerzrocks777]

I think that you have been a great friend for a long time... it sounds like she looks up to you. I wonder though how much encouragement she had to do so at first...
Is it possible that you have no more room in your new life for her because of the extra drama or because of your bond being too much for your spouse? Maybe you should just leave the situation... she has drama and a undependable husband... it's not like she is not use to it.
Think about it she counts on you. Maybe you could just say you never take my advice so I am leaving you to make your own decisions. Go be a part of your happy marriage. And let her be a part of her unhappy life.

[queserasera]

I can totally relate to this post. There is someone in my life with whom I am only friendly, but she considers me a friend. She is good friends with one of my best friends. Growing up, I knew of her but didn't really know her. A few years ago, she moved to the same city that I live in. I could tell right away that she thought that we would become best friends. She started copying EVERYTHING that I do and if she cannot copy me, she will try to "one up" me. I think she is somewhat creepy. I am in my 30s, and I have not been bothered or annoyed by anyone in my whole life up to this point. The last thing that she did was to try to invite herself on a trip that I have been planning for months. I told her straight up that I did not plan for her to go on the trip and that I would be traveling alone. She has tried to reach out to me since then, but I have been nonresponsive. Sometimes we end up hanging out because of the mutual friend that we have, but I really do not want her in my life, nor do I want to cause a big scene just because I don't like her. I am leaving the city that I am currently in this summer. Guess what? When I (accidentally) mentioned where I plan to move, a few months later, she said that she was planning to move there too. Weird, huh?