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Whatever24 · Feb 21, 2009, 10:29 AM

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 9 months and it's been great but its just sometimes he gets bad moods cause he is tired and he starts being mean to me and really naggy and it hurts me because I'm not that way with him. It's like one weekend yes one weekend no no no no then 3 weeks later yes and it's like the whole week he is really mean to me and he isn't mean as in like calling me names or anything its just id be like hello? His response: what do you want? Like attitude mean. He doesn't disrespect me but he is mean in the sense of giving me this dry attitude and it really hurts me and Every time he acts this way, I end up crying. And the first times it was that he was sorry and blah blah blah and throughout now he's like omg here we go again. I'm like ? I'm crying because you hurt me and he's like omg you just cry for every little thing! What the hell? I help him with his homework when he needs help like I am always there for him and then if I complain about something he gets mad and I feel like he doesn't appreciate me when he gives me this sort of attitude.

Any suggestions on what I should do? Even if it's a negative answer I just want as much as opinions as possible.

Thank you
-Whatever24

heartbroke · Feb 21, 2009, 12:08 PM

Is he bi polar? A gemini or just a simple jerk? Maybe he's just not sensitive. Don't give him the satisfaction of making you cry. He has some sort of control over your emotions. My advice, why not leave when he is "tired and naggy". Or if u don't want to leave, try to make him relax by massaging his neck. Some people are just like that with attitudes, just up to you if you want to deal with it.

Whatever24 · Feb 21, 2009, 12:28 PM

No, he's not a jerk but he can be... I'm just frustrated that he keeps doing this and yeah I try not to cry but it comes out anyway! I did that once and it calmed him down. Well... his grandma is in the hospital now so maybe he is stressed out about that? What do you think?
Still its not right for him to treat me that way...

heartbroke · Feb 21, 2009, 12:37 PM

Yea, stress contributes to people's attitudes escalating. My ex lost her job, is losing her house and has a kid, but still it isn't right to lash out on the ones who care about us because of the stress in their lives, but people do it anyway. They don't know any better because everything else is on their mind. Just give him some space to let things calm down. Tell him you want him to sort out his thoughts and emotions and you are there for him if he needs you. Other than that there is nothing else you can do. The more you try to intervene the more you will push him away.

talaniman · Feb 21, 2009, 05:00 PM

Why do you put up with his bad behavior? Please don't say your in love, because that excuse doesn't work as you should love yourself enough to not allow someone to treat you that way.

Whatever24 · Feb 22, 2009, 07:56 PM

Well it's not like he treats me bad it just bothers me. I mean another girl could just ignore it but I care about it. I've known by boyfriend for almost 2 years before we started going out and I do love him, we do everything together but sometimes when he is tired he gets grumpy. I mean I that a common thing on some people?

talaniman · Feb 22, 2009, 09:04 PM

Originally Posted by Whatever24

no, he's not a jerk but he can be....i'm just frustrated that he keeps doing this and yeah i try not to cry but it comes out anyway! i did that once and it calmed him down. Well....his grandma is in the hospital now so maybe he is stressed out about that? what do you think?
still its not right for him to treat me that way....

Then there is no excuse on his part is there, for his bad behavior. Either do something about it, or keep crying.

This is not an acceptable way to handle stress, by dumping on those close to you.

neverme · Feb 22, 2009, 11:22 PM

Stop accepting this behaviour.

You are the only one who can stop it. As long as you accept it then it's OK for him to do.

Maybe talk to a counselor because you have some self esteem issues if you are willing to put up with this BS.

Tal's right, no grandma or anything else is an excuse to treat you like this.

As for a neck rub, it wouldn't be a rub he'd be getting from me!

heartbroke · Mar 17, 2009, 12:32 PM

Any updates on this issue?

Whatever24 · Mar 17, 2009, 07:02 PM

He's not like that anymore he was just stressed and sad about his grandma in the hospital :o