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jeepgrl015 · Feb 16, 2009, 09:43 AM

My boyfriend of 5.5 yrs broke up with me back in August. I have gone on a couple dates and I have had NO connection except for the one I wrote a previous thread about. I know that it's the common thing to be said by singles "ill never find anyone else" or "am I going to be alone forever?" But now that I am in that position, I really understand why singles feel like this. I am going to be 26 next month and my mom wants to be a grandma and I feel like the pressure is on. I mean, I am still in school and my schedule with work is pretty busy. Most of my friends are either engaged,married or in serious relationships and the ones that are single are ALWAYS bar hopping and none of these is me. I know you have to get out there to meet people, but none of these is my scene. I feel like I had the one chance at a happy life and its gone and over with now. I have submitted a profile on different websites and I can't even believe I did that. I never thought that I would be one of "those"people. There are days that I feel confident and great about being single, and its more society telling me that I should be married or engaged. I am not an easily influenced person, but when I have no friends left due to their new lives, its getting harder and harder to not feel secluded and out of place by being single. But this is what it is... Am I the only one that feels like this or in this position?

Reicheru-006 · Feb 16, 2009, 04:24 PM

Your focusing too much on trying to get there and your doing it for the wrong reason.

Love is all about you and you just want it to happen so bad that waiting seems like torcher. Branch out doing things you want instead of doing what your friends are doing since obviously that's not working. I feel you when you say the pressures on but seriously just take your dog for a walk and take a look around. You sound like you seriously need a breather. You can't force a guy to come out of thin air, even though we all wish they came factory made... branching out will also help you make new friends which are more your type. It sounds like you can almost start over with a clean slate if you make new friends and all. My brother was like you until he took on this new art class which wasn't so great at first w/ chicks in that class until 2 months later a girl just moved into town and he didn't really notice her until she commented on his art. They're engaged now. I think you have to stop doing the rain dance and just wait for the lightning to happen

jeepgrl015 · Feb 16, 2009, 04:55 PM

Originally Posted by Reicheru-006

your focusing too much on trying to get there and your doing it for the wrong reason.

love is all about you and you just want it to happen so bad that waiting seems like torcher. branch out doing things you want instead of doing what your friends are doing since obviously thats not working. i feel you when you say the pressures on but seriously just take your dog for a walk and take a look around. you sound like you seriously need a breather. you can't force a guy to come out of thin air, even though we all wish they came factory made... branching out will also help you make new friends which are more your type. it sounds like you can almost start over with a clean slate if you make new friends and all. my brother was like you untill he took on this new art class which wasnt so great at first w/ chicks in that class untill 2 months later a girl just moved into town and he didnt really notice her untill she commented on his art. they're engaged now. i think you have to stop doing the rain dance and just wait for the lightning to happen

I know, its just so hard. I engulfed myself so much into my past relationship, like a lot of other women I lost myself. I am slowly starting to figure out what I like again and not what HE likes. I have reconnected with friends through Facebook but Im scared to go out with them because I feel like I will have nothing to contribute.

beach_boys · Feb 17, 2009, 03:45 AM

Who are you living for? Why don't you quit studies, marry anyone and have kids..

Come on! You have a goal.. you're sudying now. Your focused on career right? Do that. You can have kids later.. but you can't finish studies once you have kids. Try and do things for yourself. Be selfish at times. You have to be mentally prepared to have kids.. Have kids when you're ready.

sweet_orange · Feb 17, 2009, 06:27 AM

I have been feeling this way too.. :( but I believe that you must just focus on what you are to become.. you may find someone along the way.For me,it's more of a personal issue than society to feel single,only because everyone I know my age is 'uber cool' n bar hopping.. n I'd rather prefer to go watch a movie,or read or paint or work out.. so it kind of gets to me.. but well.. it's still a mission in progress that I feel adequate with my own self.
I think you should just concentrate on studies,school,fun.. you have 3-4 more years for a married life.Have you made friends younger than you?That would probably make you feel better.. How about just dating,not 'looking out for a marital partner'.. but just simply getting to know people?. You might bump into someone special,n all d pieces will come together..

jeepgrl015 · Feb 18, 2009, 12:55 AM

Originally Posted by sweet_orange

I have been feeling this way too..:( but i believe tht you must just focus on what you are to become..you may find someone along the way.For me,it's more of a personal issue than society to feel single,only because everyone i know my age is 'uber cool' n bar hopping..n i'd rather prefer to go watch a movie,or read or paint or work out..! so it kinda gets to me..but well..it's still a mission in progress tht I feel adequate with my own self.
I think you should just concentrate on studies,school,fun.. you have 3-4 more years for a married life.Have you made friends younger than you?That would probably make you feel better..How about just dating,not 'looking out for a marital partner'..but just simply getting to know people?..You might bump into someone special,n all d pieces will come together..

Im the same way. The people in my life who ARE single are always out bar hopping,lounging etc, that's not me at all! I would also much rather take a snowboarding class,art class or watch/go see a movie.

liz28 · Feb 19, 2009, 04:43 PM

I been in your shoes. I've had lonely nights or wishing I had what my friends had, and thinking I'd never find love again and was ready to give up. But guess what? When I wasn't looking for love I found it so maybe you should do the same. Stop thinking about it and watch what happens and see who you find.

In the meantime, just for fun, try speed dating. My counsin tried it last year and so far it work out because the two of them are still together.

Also, tell your mom she has to wait on becoming a grandmother until you find someone and build something with.

Gearhe4d · Feb 19, 2009, 05:14 PM

If you are putting yourself out there looking for the right guy, I'd suggest trying places you have never been to before. Don't continually go to the same bar, or bookstore, or wherever you like to look or be, visit new places. It seems like a problem that you are having is that you aren't around the right kind of people. Change the scenery.