[El_Ancho]

Hi, I'm 20, I'm with this girl for now 3 months, and she is my first girlfriend. At first, we would see each other like one time a week, and it'd be great every time, we were not depending on each other, and not so in love, just like romantically involved. Right from the start, she told me she were just out from a very bad relationship experience, and that she didn't want no other relation. But then, we started seeing more of us, and I fell in love. I told her, and she thought it was too quick, so she didn't answer and thought I was joking, and at that point I kind of was, like testing her own feelings. But after I repeated it some times, and sent her a love letter which at this point was very sincere, she told me she loved me too, which made me so happy I immediately fell in love truly. We would have great sex (she told me no one before me had made her reach such high levels), we would kiss often and we were both attracted immensely to each other.
But then, I started being more dependent, and calling her more often, and insisting that she would comme to my house, which at some point made her angry (she has quite a character, being half portuguese) since she absolutely dislikes having to justify herself, and since she perceived my dependence as being bad (which it is), because she would be that way for me. She is very altruistic, and so she would say that she would not see me for my own good. I understood my mistakes, but deep in me I just wanted to see her more. Then, she said she had already told me she didn't want a relation, and that was a bit like declaring it was over, but she was at least as sad as me, so we explained more, and I was happy again.
Now, I haven't seen her for 5 days, and it was a mess, and before that it had been a week, and it was almost worse (we slept together 2 nights without sex, she wouldn't kiss me like she used to, or she would but then said "I'd kiss you more, but..." and me being drunk I said "it's ok", but thinking about it now, it's not OK at all).
Anyway, what seems to me is this: she still loves me, she is attracted physically to me (she told me no other man interests her), but would not go on a relationship so she is being distant, won't kiss me ("I thought you understood"), won't call me, won't have sex with me. She still likes to have plenty of fun with me, we share a lot of the same passions and hobbies, I'm just wondering why she won't kiss me no more, why she flees me, why she perceives my intentions of seeing her as some kind of aggression, and what should I do. I think she is herself very confused, because at what point can you say it's a relationship, and at what point can you not say it, if both love each other, care for each other, have fun together, are attracted to each other.
Anyway, I'm seeing her tonight, and I'm planning on asking her why she didn't kiss me last time (I tried 3 times), and that I also don't want dependence in the relationship, but I just want to have fun with her like we used to, or something like that. Deep inside I think I'm in need of sex also, so I would very much like her to come to my house with me, but she will very probably say no, I don't know.
Thank you for your help, this message is overtly long I'm sorry.

[chrishands1]

Well truth is, girls hate, neediness and insecurity, so portray yourself as thoes two things and a girl will love feelings, simply because she wants an emotionless, strong[emotionally] for instinctive/survival purposes etc. rethink how your acting round her, change it round, e.g. Ask her for a kiss if she says no, say OK, well you ent going to have one now, or Uwasnt going to get it for free anyway. Things like that

[chrishands1]

Lose her love feelings sorry I meant

[jaime90]

It seems like this girl is on the rebound, and she is keeping you around because she is physically attracted to you. Physical attraction is important in a relationship, but it cannot be the whole relationship. It was very disrespectfull of you to tell her you love her and disregard her feelings. You are not in love with her. Love takes time, commitment, and trust, along with willingness to die for the other person. It is much more intense, than mere "feelings" for someone, or romantic involvement. Why don't you leave the girl alone to get over her past bad relationship, and allow her some time to heal. She is right- you are moving way too fast. Why don't you take a break and start righting your own wrongs too- clingyness is not a good thing, and is one of the deadliest sins in a relationship. Fix that before you go getting emotionally involved with women.