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kp2171 · Dec 11, 2008, 09:58 AM

Well, if the pill didn't set well with you, nuva might not also, since the side effects are commonly the same... it is the pill, just without needing to remember to take a pill each day, and since the difference between "perfect" use of the pill and "imperfect" use is effectiveness that goes from less than 1-2% to 5-8% pregnant, some would say the ring is definitely more convenient and statistically more effective.

As for IUD's, you should talk to your doctor to see if you are a candidate for a copper IUD. They are supposedly 98-99% effective, and you wouldn't have the issues with hormones, if that's what made you miserable before.

Id read once before that some manufacturers recommend this for women whove had at least one child... but you'd need to talk to your doctor about this... I believe this is just because insertion is easier. My wife used an IUD long before she met me and said it gave her no problems.

white-rose · Dec 11, 2008, 11:24 AM

Wow me and my boyfriend have been together for over two years too, except we have NEVER used the pull out method. You guys are playing a risky game, because there is pre-ejaculation before he even "officially" ejaculates. And the pull out method sometimes stresses men out and they can't fully experience sex, because most of what they are focusing on is not going inside you. If you can talk him into wearing a condom, he can just fully enjoy the experience and orgasm whenever he feels like it, without the worry of stopping, pulling out and then orgasming and making a mess you will have to clean up too!

krzekali89 · Dec 11, 2008, 04:05 PM

So, I took all of your advise... and do you want to hear something ironic? I convinced him to wear one. And in the middle of doing it, he pulls out and starts freaking out. Weheres the condom? The thing broke. Luckliy he didn't come, but who knows if he had pre- and how long it was broken for.

Talk about dumb luck huh?

We decided not to have sex until I am on some sort of stable b.c. and we get bigger condoms. The store ran out of magnums, so we bought regular ones... thats what we get for being impatient huh?

kitten420 · Dec 11, 2008, 04:29 PM

That's very ironic

smoothy · Dec 11, 2008, 06:17 PM

Who put it on, you or him?

While it IS possible, I think he might have hosed it up on purpose...

I'm 47, I've had ZERO break in my life and lost one twice...

krzekali89 · Dec 12, 2008, 11:03 AM

Oh, it was on... then when he went to go back in, it hurt and was raw. That's when it broke... we gave up after that.

He just needs larger condoms.

Starbucks21 · Dec 12, 2008, 11:46 AM

While I'd be careful to get a condom safe lubricant... I think it was a matter of there not being enough lubrication.

Most will say whether they're condom safe. Be careful not to get sugar or glycerin base. If the condom is dry and there is a lot of "friction" the condom can break.

There is the morning after pill though and you have 3 days to take it. It can't be used regularly but it is a good back up

Tuscany · Dec 12, 2008, 11:47 AM

Something about this says Troll to me

Starbucks21 · Dec 12, 2008, 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by krzekali89

oh, it was on...then when he went to go back in, it hurt and was raw. thats when it broke...we gave up after that.

he just needs larger condoms.

I mean with this... I know k and y makes some lubes that are condom safe. Just not petroleum ones (those break down the material of the condom)

smoothy · Dec 12, 2008, 12:27 PM

Yeah... most guys that claim to need bigger condoms are full of themselves the others are just idiots. You can stretch a condom over your head and it won't break. And by that I mean the one on your shoulders.

You should NOT carry them in your wallet... heat deteriorates them as does age.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 12, 2008, 01:18 PM

And be sure he is putting it on correctly, there has to be room in the end, not tight

Plus how old, where was it stored, had it gotten hot.

Can't remember one breaking in 30 years.

Kickprivate · Dec 12, 2008, 05:08 PM

Take a hint.

Starbucks21 · Dec 12, 2008, 05:18 PM

I like that hint... so very true

Lowtax4eva · Dec 12, 2008, 08:55 PM

Originally Posted by krzekali89

So my boyfriend and I have been together for over two years. We've always used the 'pull out' method while having sex, since we moved in together. (Don't judge, we were each others firsts and get checked every year to know were clean.) Well after a close friend got pregant using the same method, I refuse to use that method anymore because I do not want kids for a couple of years. My boyfriend won't wear condoms because we lived 100 miles apart from each other for 7 months of our relationship. He said he won't wear them because when he takes them off he feels like he's going to leave me again. Its a "mental thing." He said that he'll just wait to have sex for 3 weeks until I get on birth control. But I not only want it now, I still want to use them even after I get B.C. What should I do?:eek:

That's a pretty lame excuse and you'd be an idiot to believe this, just tell him he has no choice.

krzekali89 · Dec 13, 2008, 11:42 AM

It was brand new, stored on my end table... not in it... on top of it. It didn't get hot. He's just stupid and selfish... after everything and hearing everyone's opinions and what not I might end it. If he can't wear a condom and be a big boy about it... then he's not right for me. All I wanted was to be safe.. and he can't even put aside a little thing like a condom... whatever.

TexasParent · Dec 13, 2008, 12:31 PM

I think that is the wise choice.

Today guys think sex is without responsibility, as do some girls. For the pleasure of the moment they abandon all notion that a girl could become pregnant, or that he could give her a disease.

Each time you have sex with someone there is a chance (yes, even on the pill) that you will become pregnant. Some guys will push for an abortion if this happens; they are willing to have the sex but not the responsibility that goes with it. So in another selfish move they would prefer to kill the unborn baby rather than to live up to the responsibilities that go with sex. Or in another classic display of selfishness they abandon the mother and the child and the mother is left to raise the child on her own.

It's time for your boyfriend to grow up, and for you to set some boundries. If he loves you, he will use a condom as you requested. Love and selfishness don't go together; he either loves you and sees that this is a reseasonable demand from the person he loves and will comply despite his hangups, or he won't and likely badger you into doing what he wants; this is not love, it's control and selfishness.

Him aside, here is a saying that may fit this situation and your responsibility in all this:

First time a victim, the next time a volunteer.

You are no longer a victim, you are aware of what is going on, if you continue you are volunteering through your own free will for this behavior to continue. Only you can stop volunteering; feel good about saying no, be the mature one and ask yourself under what circumstances do I want to bring my first child into the world? Are these the circumstances? If not, be responsible to your future child and do not put yourself into the position to have him/her now.

Growing up is sometimes challenging as we want to stay immature and have everything at the moment without considering the larger picture. It doesn't sound like he wants to grow up, but it sounds like you do; and that's awesome.

I am so proud of you loving yourself enough to say no, to set boundries. This and similar situations in your life where you love yourself enough to say enough will help you grow into a emotionally healthy young woman and your future relationships will soar because of it. You will begin to allow only healthy people to share your life as you become healthier, and that comes from loving yourself and setting boundries and not compromising on your core values.

Good luck and God Bless.

Kickprivate · Dec 13, 2008, 12:44 PM

Good Job darling! Only you can make the right choice and for that you will have to look in the mirror. I hope you feel proud, you should be.

white-rose · Dec 18, 2008, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Yeah....most guys that claim to need bigger condoms are full of themselves the others are just idiots. You can stretch a condom over your head and it won't break. And by that I mean the one on your shoulders.

You should NOT carry them in your wallet....heat deteriorates them as does age.

That is so true, they can stretch a lot. I think "magnums" are just something physiological to make some men feel better...

smoothy · Dec 19, 2008, 06:48 AM

Originally Posted by white-rose

That is so true, they can stretch alot. I think "magnums" are just something physiological to make some men feel better...

Oh the magnums are a little bigger unstretched... but if an average or smaller guy wears them to inflate his own ego they might slip off during sex... and its possible to not even notice until its too late.

Alty · Dec 19, 2008, 09:05 AM

I was with a guy that bought the super huge condoms all the time. I don't know how many times I'd go to the bathroom after sex only to discover that the condom was still inside of me. Not the proper use of a condom, that's for sure.

Fit matters if the condom is going to do it's job.