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    amynellis's Avatar
    amynellis Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 10, 2008, 06:07 PM
    What can I do if I suspect my mate is cheating
    Me and my mate been together for ten years and we have two boys. One of our son was sick so I have to take care of him in a hospital out of town. While I was at the hospital my mate doesn't answere his phone. When I came back home with our son some woman call him and he would have long conversation. Sometime he would leave to the store in the middle of the night. Like 2to 4 o clock in the morning. I call him and he would say I am going to the store. Sometime he would not answer his phone because I think he is doing something wrong. Please help...
    LifeChangesMan's Avatar
    LifeChangesMan Posts: 329, Reputation: 39
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    #2

    Nov 10, 2008, 06:11 PM
    Hey, I would be feeling the same way and I'm sorry to hear about you situation to answer your question. You've been with him for 10 years no one knows him better then you do, I would approach him face to face and tell him how you feel, you personally should be able to gauge if he's lying or not after being with him for so long. If he admits the idea of cheating or doing the deed it's up to you to tighten the leash and forgive him, or let him go.
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
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    #3

    Nov 10, 2008, 09:34 PM

    In all honesty who goes to the store at 2 or 4 in the morning... especially on more than one occasion.

    Did he ever exhibit this kind of behavior before... probably not because it wouldn't have gotten your attention if he had.

    From what you wrote it seems pretty certain that he is being unfaithful. And what's even worse is he is doing this while you are off caring for your ill child.

    You are going to have to either call him out on it or catch him in the act... and what you decide to do once you know for sure is up to you.
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
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    #4

    Nov 10, 2008, 09:54 PM

    2 or 4am trip to the store??

    Yeah. Something about that does not sound right

    The only time I got an AlARM was when I read the 2. to 4am runs to the store.

    Something is not right here.

    I think he is doing something.

    Cheat I don't know.. but he is hiding something for SURE!

    Best bet is to get a case together if you are married and start protecting yourself.

    Good luck
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Nov 10, 2008, 10:00 PM

    Tell him his behavior is suspicous, and have the facts right there.
    MissMax143's Avatar
    MissMax143 Posts: 37, Reputation: 6
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    #6

    Nov 11, 2008, 08:33 AM

    I was cheated on and before I caught him I had red flags all over the place. People have great intuitions that we tend to ignore! I don't know but I feel he should have been right beside you when you son got sick, or at least pick up the dam phone??
    That to me is reason alone that something is not right… even if he is not cheating I would like to know what his excuse was for that?? So wrong!!
    I think if you approach him, and he is cheating there is no way he is going to admit it. I think you already know the truth but some people need the proof, I know I did either way it's not easy. I wish you and your son the best!
    amynellis's Avatar
    amynellis Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Nov 11, 2008, 10:45 PM
    He say he did not cheat on me so in the mean time I just accept his answere untril I find out the truth
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #8

    Nov 11, 2008, 11:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by amynellis View Post
    he say he did not cheat on me so in the mean time i just accept his answere untril i find out the truth
    Until you find out the truth? In other words you don't believe him, you think he's lying, that he is cheating.

    Of course he's not going to admit it, he's got a good thing going. A wife at home to care for his children, cook, clean etc. and whatever is at the store waiting for him in the wee hours of the morning.

    The next time he gets up to go to the store, tell him that you're coming with him, if he refuses then you know that he's hiding something.

    Good luck.
    MissMax143's Avatar
    MissMax143 Posts: 37, Reputation: 6
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    #9

    Nov 12, 2008, 06:26 AM

    I understand that you are excepting his answer I mean honest what other choice do you have without proof, right?? I know from experience now to trust your intuitions but I also know that then, it was not enough.
    It is time to become an investigator and be smart. It is not a fun way to go about things but you need to prove yourself wrong, well you hope!
    Another thing don't forget who else is suffering from his actions. I am still confused as to why he was not here when his son got sick! People only do what YOU allow them to get away with. If you can't stand up for yourself at least stand up for your boys!!
    amynellis's Avatar
    amynellis Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Nov 12, 2008, 09:49 PM
    Yeah right to this day I still ponder in my mind if he cheated on me or not. I guess I would never know. I will let god decide for me. For right I am just glad that I am not in the hospital with my son any more. And that he is home safely. I still need help with my relationship with my mate. We tend to argue about our finance a lot because we each spend more money than we have made.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #11

    Nov 12, 2008, 09:52 PM

    Then stop spending that money, that's something you can fix.

    As for the other problem, if you want to turn a blind eye that's up to you, you have to live with it.

    I wish you all the best, I'm glad that your son is okay.

    Good luck.
    fordexpert's Avatar
    fordexpert Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Nov 12, 2008, 09:58 PM
    Eiether trust them or dump them

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