[barbsf84]

I have been in a relationship for 5 years, we do not live together but stay together at least 3 times a week. This suits us both as we enjoy are freedom and always have a great time when we meet up. We both have had failed marriages behind us and everything seemed OK until I told him a few nights ago that I loved him. He has never said this to me and his reply was that he knew I loved him but he didn't love me. He does everything for me cooks, money if I'm short, always listens, and is always there for me but yet he says he does not love me. What do I do now, will he ever love me. He says he's to selfish to love me because he always puts himself first, but that is not true. Should we stay together or should I find someone who will love me back.

[talaniman]

Maybe you should get his definition of love, before you run away from what sounds like a good relationship.

That's why couple communicate, to get a clear meaning behind the words.

[barbsf84]

My partner has been looking at local escort agengies but says he just likes looking at the girls, I can understand him looking at porn or even just girls but what he is looking at could become real. I don't know whether to believe him, there's loads of them on his computer is he lying

[talaniman]

Does he do more than look, like making inquiries? Also is this the same guy,

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...me-270038.html

[jmjoseph]

Who knows for sure if he is lying or not? Has he ever given you any reason to suspect him of cheating?

Pornography is one thing. But for him to be "shopping" for a date, is another. He could be just after the thrill of the possibility of actually getting with one of these girls. Or he could be getting ready to cheat, and picking out one of them. He's the only one with that answer.

How did you find this out? Were you investigating him?

[parisrose]

I think it's a bit weird he's looking at escort service websites for just the pictures. If he was interested in just pictures of girls then he would have a history of many other websites.

[barbsf84]

Thanks everyone for you answers cause I really don't know what to do here. Yes this is the same man I wrote about before who can't say that he loves me. I wasn't looking for anything and I was not suspecting he was cheating. I was on his computer as I always am, which he allows me to do. But as I was trying to connent to my Facebook page all the local escort agengies where showing. After talking to him he says he likes to look at them because they are atainable but is not going to do anything but look. I find all this hard to believe. I am not a bad looking woman but I have put quite a bit of weight on lately and I have always known he dislikes fat girls. Should I walk away now after 7 years or his he going to really hurt me soon. He says that I won't trust him anymore after this and if he's away that I will be wondering what he is up 2

[Bluerose]

If you love him you will trust that he loves you and is telling you the truth. If you have any doubts then it's time to take a closer look at your relationship.

[positiveparent]

Maybe he was window shopping, and looking around those sites to check out the latest trends!! At least it wasn't porn site, (might have been easier? ) I wouldn't be bothered myself if my SO checked them out, however many ladies are not best pleased with the SO sniffing around them.

I can see your reasons though to be concerned, I take it you had not known that he frequented these sites. Ummmmmm.

Do you believe him, as in your instincts, are they saying he's OK, or he's a bad a$$e?

Because that's more than likely where you'll find out, that little voice never or extremely rarely then lies to us, it's that niggle that just keeps on coming back to you. Or the demon saying he did it.

Has there been anything else that could support your thoughts, like secret texting, phone calls from or for wrong numbers, emails he carelessly left open, or was on the clipboard when you pasted once by accident of course"!

I wouldn't think he was up too much if he willingly lets you use his p.c. however anythings possible.

So any other strange or obvious differences/changes in his behaviour.?

[talaniman]

Can he afford one of those escorts he pulls up on the net? I think unless he is rich, he may be just into the soft porn rather than the XXX stuff.

My dear, please work on your own self esteem, before you go worrying about what he is doing. Pay more attention to what you are doing for yourself to feel good about yourself, and then you won't trip over his cheap thrills.

[barbsf84]

My partner has been looking at local escort agengies but says he just likes looking at the girls, I can understand him looking at porn or even just girls but what he is looking at could become real. I dont know whether to believe him, theres loads of them on his computer is he lying

I am meeting up with him tonight to see if we can move on from all this, I have always known he looks at porn and like I said before it doesn't bother me but somehow this is very different and is real ordinary girls. I didn't suspect him of doing anything (texts, emails, laptop) so why do I now with this. We still had a good sex life and a great freindship which I don't want to throw away. Yes he could afford to pay for a girl and long before he met me he did pay for escorts, he told me all about it but it was at least 20 years ago. Maybe he wants the thrill again of it all.

[barbsf84]

Hi to everyone who has helped me with this, I talked everything over with my partner and now he has ended it. He says that me knowing he looks at escort agengies has ruined everything with us as that was his private thing and nothing to do with me. He knew I knew he looked at porn so what's his problem? Do you think this was an easy way to end things with me, I don't really understand any of what's happened.