[sweetness4461]

I have been married for 28 yrs and together for 32 years. We have 3 sons who are grown and our marriage seems to have just become a roommate situation. We hardly talk, no sexual relaitons for 5 yrs and when he's home he changes clothes, lays on couch, eats supper an then falls asleep on couch. I met a guy (who is also married) online and we connected. We both feel that we are the soulmates of one another and we get along great. With him I feel alive and loved and all the feelings that I don't feel at home. Im not sure what to do from here? I know my kids will NOT like me leaving and neither will the rest of my family. I have always done for them and never for myself.. am I wrong to want to do something for me. I be loved by someone who I love and want to be with?

[Bluerose]

Many might disagree with me but I say go for it. I was divorced after twenty years of marriage. Just be prepared in case it doesn't work out. Everyone is entitled to a second chance and everyone is entitled to be happy. Talk it over with the guy, find out how serious he is. You are considering a big step, don't jump into anything, give this a lot of thought. Make sure he feels the same way.

[ZoeMarie]

I'm all about doing what makes you happy but it sounds to me like you should have tried talking to your husband before meeting people online. If you're going to pursue someone else you should get a divorce or try counceling first, I mean before you even start looking. Maybe you have tried to talk to your husband about your situation, I don't know.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, don't expect this to really be a soul mate, but more of a escape person who will have all sorts of faults also, like being married, you can expect them not to really leave their wife but perhaps just looking for some fun.

You should deal with each problem separately, if you are not happy at home, get counseling, and try to fix it,
If you can't fix it, then you divorce, learn to live on your own, then you move on.

[hollylovesbrandon]

I think you should do more to try to fix your at home situation. Talk to your husband. Let him know what's going on. Sometimes men can be blind to what is right in front of a woman's face. Maybe he doesn't see what you see. Then again, maybe he does. IF you talk to him maybe you can find out how he feels and that he might be eager to fix things. If you talk to him and he doesn't respond then let him know about the other guy that you have been talking to. When he asks why you have done this, let him know why. You were lonely, you need love and affection, you weren't getting what you think you deserve. If you can't fix it on your own then try counseling. Obviously this thing was good for a long time, give it a chance to be good again.

[liz28]

It seems like you might be in a loveless marriage but I don't think jumping into another women husband arms is the way to go. If you want out of the marriage then leave, at least your kids are grown and they would understand and most likely they always know what isn't going on between your two.

If counseling isn't an option then get ready for a divorce. I understand you have needs but one thing you don't need is drama or to get hurt.

[JudyKayTee]

yes, don't expect this to really be a soul mate, but more of a escape person who will have all sorts of faults also, like being married, you can expect them not to really leave thier wife but perhaps just looking for some fun.

You should deal with each problem seperately, if you are not happy at home, get counseling, and try to fix it,
If you can't fix it, then you divorce, learn to live on your own, then you move on.

This has recently been posted on another thread - what exactly is a soulmate? Does anyone have a definition?

And maybe she thought the husband was a soulmate when she married him - ?

[confused218]

I agree with counseling as a first step, not so much because I think you are better off staying in your loveless marriage but because I would want you to be prepared for the consequences of ending such a long term relationship. Maybe it is possible to reconnect with the man you married, but if not, you don't want to be left wondering if you should have tried harder or what could have been done differently. Good luck to you whatever you choose.