[pinkrose7]

On my birthday the married guy (who 3 years of dating and growing together but didn't know and stopped talking to) contacted me again and it ended up with us spending the day together the next day (we still talk )but he always says ( I do love you and I want to do everything I can not to disrespect you I care about how you feel and what you want OK u are more then a friend to me and yet you still are my friend and I love you and I want you to be happy with our relationship whatever it is and how ever you want it OK I just don't want you hurt your my baby ) I asked him how was I his baby and he said (always have been always will be even if you marry some one else you always will be my baby )ok now here's my question he loves me and he cares about me he said(how I don't want you hurt or feeling used I would not be able to live with that and he can't live without me in his life) he still loves his wife and his 3 kids with her but he loves me and is addicted to my stuff he doesn't even touch his wife anymore they kiss on the cheek and sometimes on the lips but if he had the ability to eat me and make love with me everyday he would and its not just that he loves spending time with me too and we don't have to do anything what do I do about this I love him and he loves me but his other life is a problem for me, what to do, what to do? Please advise

[jambourrie]

He has his cake and is eating it too! I don't expect he will change. I suggest you stay away and find someone loyal and trustworthy.

[J_9]

He's a married man... Leave him alone.

[talaniman]

Stop talking to him, and maybe you won't fall for his dumb lines! Haven't we been through all this??

Stop lying to yourself, and stop talking to him??

Since you can't make a decision for yourself, do as he says, but don't insult our intelligence by asking what to do about a married man that wants to keep you for his personal sex toy.

[hjpan]

1. Cut ties with this man.
2. Find a new guy & friends.
3. PROFIT??

[HistorianChick]

He doesn't love you. He is in lust with you. He wants you. He doesn't love you.

Love doesn't break up homes. Love doesn't sneak around and have affairs. Love isn't selfish. Love doesn't take, love gives. Love isn't ownership, but partnership. Love isn't sneaky, it proclaims itself from mountaintops.

Love isn't what he has for you. He wants to sleep with you; that's not love, that's lust. He wants to go behind his wife's back and hop in your bed. He isn't thinking of his children or his family, he is addicted to you and the "forbidden fruit."

That's not love.

His "other life" is his three children and his wife. He may not be happy in his marriage, but as long as his is IN the marriage, he is off limits.

Run, Pinkrose, run.

[JBeaucaire]

I think a man promised to love, honor, cherish and cleave to one woman... his wife. Then he started a relationship with you.

Based on that, AND what he just told you on this "special day" you spent together, you can safely conclude nothing he says is truthful.

Nothing.

Does he mean it when he says it? Probably. That still doesn't make it truthful. The worst kind of liars are the ones who believe their own lies during the moments they are saying them to you.

Psychotic and self-important.

The fact that you have feelings for this villain is unfortunate. My guess is you're not the least bit interested in truth, just finding some way to make his lies OK enough for you to live with it.

Unfortunate, indeed.

[chuff]

but he always says ( i do love u and i want to do everything i can not to disrespect u i care about how u feel and what u want ok u are more then a friend to me and yet u still are my friend and i love u and i want u to be happy with our relationship whatever it is and how ever u want it ok i just dont want u hurt ur my baby )

Well if you can't believe a married father cheating on his wife in complete secret who can you believe?

i asked him how was i his baby and he said (always have been always will be even if u marry some one else u always will be my baby )

Mental note. Do not marry Pinkrose, she is someone else's baby.

I love it, he not only cheats on his own wife but he is setting you up to be co-dependant upon him should you find someone else, even if you find someone else and marry them.

ok now here's my question he loves me and he cares about me he said

Those would be lies.

(how i dont want u hurt or feeling used i would not be able to live with that and he can't live without me in his life)

Why? He lived without you before?

he still loves his wife and his 3 kids with her but he loves me and is addicted to my stuff

Does you stuff do magic tricks? What makes yours so special other then it believes every lie he says?

he doesn't even touch his wife anymore they kiss on the cheek and sometimes on the lips but if he had the ability to eat me and make love with me everyday he would and its not just that he loves spending time with me too and we don't have to do anything what do I do about this

Well he does have that ability, we call it getting a divorce. Since he's not getting one, and also he's a cheat I think we can safely assume he's lying.

I love him and he loves me

Well you love him. He is using you.

but his other life is a problem for me, what to do, what to do? please advise

"But his other life is a problem for me" WOW!

You mean his real life that you are not a part of? HIS WIFE is a problem for you?

What is wrong with this entire picture? Your getting used and apparently everybody in the world can see that but you. You have nothing, he has a piece on the side that believes everything he says.

[redwee74]

Well said Chuff. Now Pinkrose, everyone here has warned you but here it goes again. LEAVE MARRIED MEN ALONE, IF THEY ARE IN A SECRET RELATIONSHIP THEY ARE USERS. THIS MAN IS NO DIFFERENT, HE IS USING YOU. Now rose get away from him and start your own life. There is probably someone in your life now that could be great and because of this situation you are overlooking them. Or they could show up and here you are in this mess. Just leave him alone, don't talk to him any. He is only going to use his control over you to get what he wants. Good luck.

[Alty]

Wow, this guy is good. He's married, has a stable home with wifey and the kids, and a gullible mistress on the side. He should write a book, "How to fool, lie and cheat on people".

He doesn't love you, he loves what you give him, yourself proclaimed "stuff". If he loved you then he'd divorce wifey and marry you. Of course, I'm sure that he'd find someone on the side then too, a leopard doesn't change his spots.

What to do? Well, you can waste your life servicing this loser and never ever having a stable relationship, or, you could find someone that puts you first, wants you and only you.

You are second best, you will never be first were this man is concerned.

Good luck.