[xoxaprilwine]

Hello again,

I am pregnant with my second which I am so happy; next week I find out if baby is a boy or a girl!. I am about 20 weeks and well... I don't feel normal in fact I think I am going to explode because I am so horny I can die... hehe. For me sex is fun when your pregnant with all those extra sensitive nerves! :p I just don't think my hubby is equally excited about the bedroom thing... it could be that he is scared or the fact that he is going to be a dad again. Maybe he does not want to hurt the baby or he feels that he is sharing my body and its wrong. It could also be the thought of financial stress of new baby and body changes or that my attention being focused on two kids and not just him.

But to the real question... just wondering what men think about having sex with their pregnant significant other? I know it's a good subject to hit so be totally and absolutely honest and all opinions are welcome.

Thank you and I look forward to getting some feedback :)

[mommyv]

Well my husband actually can't keep his hands off me when I'm pregnant. He says just the thought of me carrying his child drives him wild! But I do know someone right now who's pg and she says her man's afraid of hurting her and the baby so even when she does get some, it's very "safe", you know, slow and easy.

[katrinayukiko]

Firstly.Congratulations!. how lovely.
... my close male friends say there is nothing sexier than a pregnant woman.. they look so right and they are just constantly glowing...
I have heard other males talk about how they are scared of hurting the baby and therefore don't... but it is very safe...
Men are men and have needs, depending on who they are most of them wouldn't say no to an 80 yr old. And well your picture is very attractive and I'm sure you'll have no bother, getting your 'significant other' to give you some loving...
If you like my answer please rate it.

[mommyv]

Lol... 80 yrs old... so true!

[J_9]

lol...80 yrs old... so true!

Huh?

[JoeCanada76]

For me, when my wife was pregnant there was no sex...

There is safety and medical reasons , etc...

Everybody is in a different situation and all depends on if the pregnancy is high risk or not...

I agree that it is very beautiful seeing your wife/ or signigicant other pregnant and carrying a child. Absolutely amazing.

[xoxaprilwine]

No health risks... healthy as a horse (low risk) with both... thank god.

[mommyv]

j-9, katrina said most guys wpouldn't say no to an 80 yr old. Just gave me a chuckle, sorry.

[spyderglass]

My husband told me I was sexy. He thought his reaction to my baby belly was weird. But I didn't mind (winks)

[kp2171]

Congrads.

I'm an easy lay, I guess. When my partners hormones were raging and she needed sex now, well, that's the sexiest thing ever.

And once one understands that many of the concerns about sex when pregnant are just bunk, it lets you be mentally free and present in the moment.

Some med providers ask patients to hold back late term. There's a lot of debate and uncertainty about whether sex can actually help bring on labor. Our certified nurse midwife, a woman I have the highest regard and respect for, believed sex late term could help bring on labor, as the prostaglandins in semen can potentially induce, and she personally had her patients use pelvic muscle stimulations to induce, which, again, some say can come from uterine contractions... and she also cited the known fact that nipple stim causes oxytocin release, which is absolutely used to induce labor... but, again, there are mixed feeling about late term sex and its role in inducing labor.

The short answer, which I never give, is while your mind and body are willing, go for it. As long as you really are low risk, as determined by your medical provider, not you, it is safe.

And as a guy who knew my wife would be "out of commission" for some time, I was more than happy to help her help me help her. I'm just a giving person that way. ;)

Is your man a little unsure about it? Worried? Distracted?

[xoxaprilwine]

congrads.

im an easy lay, i guess. when my partners hormones were raging and she needed sex now, well, thats the sexiest thing ever.

and once one understands that many of the concerns about sex when pregnant are just bunk, it lets you be mentally free and present in the moment.

some med providers ask patients to hold back late term. theres a lot of debate and uncertainty about whether sex can actually help bring on labor. our certified nurse midwife, a woman i have the highest regard and respect for, believed sex late term could help bring on labor, as the prostaglandins in semen can potentially induce, and she personally had her patients use pelvic muscle stimulations to induce, which, again, some say can come from uterine contractions... and she also cited the known fact that nipple stim causes oxytocin release, which is absolutely used to induce labor... but, again, there are mixed feeling about late term sex and its role in inducing labor.

the short answer, which i never give, is while your mind and body are willing, go for it. as long as you really are low risk, as determined by your medical provider, not you, it is safe.

and as a guy who knew my wife would be "out of commission" for some time, i was more than happy to help her help me help her. im just a giving person that way. ;)

is your man a little unsure about it? worried? distracted?

I am full figured now and I have no complications with this pregnancy (this is our second and he knows what to expect). We were doing great for the first three months but once the belly started to show that was it. He engages only once every three weeks for the last four months. I try but he always says he is sorry; he is tired. He was like this with the first one too. There are no additional distractions as there usually is.

He said to me couple months ago, "I can't wait for the baby to come so you can loose your weight and be 90 pounds so I can...". I won't give too much detail but I think I have painted you a picture of what he said and that really made me upset. Now that he said that I noticed that he brings his portable DVD player with him to work and once he does that he can't perform later in the day. During sex he always closes his eyes and I just feel like there is no connection and it's a turn off for me and within the first 10 minutes I just want it OVER with. This is short term stuff and it will be another 3 months till the baby is born and another 3 months till I can get back into it but its just kind of frustrating for me right now because I just don't know what to do with all these EMOTIONS? (I can't think of anything else... thats how bad its starting to get for me and I feel horrible to say something so self-centered).

Bottom line is sex is now becoming uncomfortable and a bit painful (baby is low) because of the inconsistency and I am ready to say forget it at all times. So... should I just forget this and tell him that I am not interested because I can't do this once every three weeks its starting to hurt? Just keep myself busy around other things?
How do I get my mind off it?

What do you think in your opinion about this?

[kp2171]

I think having a child is one of the most amazing things, and one of the most challenging things in a relationship.

As you've already mentioned, this could be stress over the pregnancy, simple mental distraction, financial fears, anxiety about the baby's health, anxiety about losing time with you... etc...

I went through a very unexpected stint of depression about 8 months after my wife delivered my son. It was a result with many causes... financial worries, missing time with my wife, the stress of caring for a baby...

I didn't see it coming. I didn't catch it until I was in the middle of it. I didn't desire to be distant, unattentive, distracted... but there I was all of a sudden. I loved my wife dearly, but emotionally I became sidetracked for a time.

You know this is short term. You know your drive is higher than normal, and his seems lower than normal... and both come from this pregnancy, most likely.

He doesn't have his head up his arse for "personal" reasons... if he's distracted, it not because he doesn't want to be with you or near you... its just the stress screwing with his head. That doesn't give him a free pass... doesn't excuse neglect... but it isn't unreasonable to say he has potential reasons to be distracted.

And you have reasons to be flustered. You still deserve attention and a little support and reassurance is certainly good for you at this point, right?

My partner and I handled the sex part pretty well... when things got uncomfortable for her we used mostly oral stim to satiate each other... my partners drive is lower than mine, and still was during pregnancy... so she tried to keep me sane and not feel like she was being put upon, and I tried to back off and understand, as best I could, what she was going through.

You know it takes time to get things back to "normal" with a pregnancy and then caring for a newborn.

All you can do is try to talk things out, understanding that each person is struggling.

He likely misses you, misses the comfort of being with you without distraction, misses sex, but he puts his foot in his mouth when trying to talk to you.

You are left feeling disconnected, distanced... its not much different than what he's likely feeling, just from a different angle and a different reaction.

No simple answer here... if you're thinking he's self stimulating, and then unable to perform, I understand this is bothersome when you are left without. My "rule" is any "problem solving" one does is fine as long as it isn't taking away from the relationship... if my wife's vibe gets three times the action I'm getting, and I'm being left pent up, that's a problem.

I don't think its unreasonable for him, or for you, to ease some anxiety with self pleasure.

But again, all you can do is try to talk things out, and try to remember that the circumstances are what's different right now... not the person.

I hope he's more attentive. If intercourse is too much, what about oral on you... or what about you self stimulating while he kisses you, bites at your ears, etc?

Congrads on the baby soon to be here.

[xoxaprilwine]

I wrote this post when I was nearly 6 months pregnant but wanted to see if anything would change. I am going on 8 months now... and am seriously looking forward to having my body back (really miss the eggnog and spiced rum :)).

It's not me that's the problem... but I just gave up initiating sex with him because I get the excuses (mind you I am also the one having previous issues with him and porn (infrequent or no sex prior to pregnancy)). Prior to the pregnancy, I have ton's and ton's of lingerie, role-playing outfits, toys, talk dirty (talk to him in different languages), have a tongue tickler, fore-play (but he doesn't do it back), dance for him and open to new positions in bed... the only thing I won't do is bring another girl or guy in the bed with us BUT he still prefers his porn 85% of the time. I still can do all those things... just bigger. I always feel I am giving and never receiving in any event... there are sooo many times I don't get to climax because he doesn't stimulate and that would include getting me while I am sleeping - waking up and freaking out because I think I am having sex with whoever is in my dream (don't know what, where, when and with who I am with) IF ANYTHING WILL SEND ME TO LABOR It's that. How can I want to do all those naughty things when he doesn't make me still feel sexy? To expect him to do anything else as you suggest is hard to say. Now we go about 25-38 days straight without having sex or any sexual contact (intimate or affectionate but not sexual)... it feels like either once every three weeks to a month and it must be because I am preggo).

I know someone said that it's the mother thing... could it be? Do I remind him of his mother because I am a mom? Does that really change everything in a relationship? Wouldn't having kids bring people closer not further apart? I am questioning on how rocky is our marriage? Will it go back to semi-normal? We always had issues with this... just worsened because I am pregnant. I think he has a lot going on he isn't telling me and possible resentments (maybe I am not giving him the attention he needs emotionally?) - not withstanding he has a lot of financial and work related stress now being Christmas and the Economic Hit.

Sex has been off and on our entire engagement/marriage (before that it was 2-4 times a day; every day... trust me I don't want that anymore)... we went to counseling before but didn't really help. He won't talk about it... he shuts me out or blows a MASSIVE , HOT, VIOLENT temper and I just gave up and bought him a subscription to satellite porn which, evidently I enjoy too. We don't watch it together... he becomes distant, not me. Another concern is he never touches my belly or is involved in our pregnancy at all... that hurts too.

Also, we just moved into our first house together (as homeowners) and we still haven't made love (20 days into the new house and November 24th was the last time we had sex... before that we went 28 days). My brother-in-law bugs him about it and I am just too honest (and bothered by it) that I say "no we haven't broken in the house yet, he doesn't want me". My brother-in-law said "well that's not right, whats wrong with you man? Wanna trade? I love pregnant women..." (He is joking of course) Hubby knows there are no concerns and it is safe (this is his second time around) (he is super happy about it being a boy). It just does not seem right... but I will continue to keep my hopes up and wait it out only a short bit to go.

Just for the record... we have been dating since I was fresh 16 (dated for 5 years, engaged for 1 year and married for 4 years), I am 26 and he is 27 now, been together for 10 years. I was a size 3-4 dating then 5-6 married and now... well... preggo... could it be my weight? We went through some old stuff of ours (from dating) and he commented on how small my butt was and how much he loved it. Funny thing is even though I am pregnant I still get dirty looks from women and still get gleaming approval from men... married ones or more mature (30-40) men... I was a model and played small roles in movies too so I like to think I am not ugly but maybe just expecting type of beautiful.

Thank you for everything I really do appreciate your opinion you seem very knowledgeable. Sorry for bugging you for more help... I am sure it feels like a dry topic and I do understand everything from your previous post... maybe I just need to vent. Thank you for hearing me out and taking time to post on this thread.

[spyderglass]

Well, I wish I had some input for you April. But if venting makes you feel better you know I'm here for you girl. Honestly, a lot of men don't like to try to have sex around a baby belly. And some men think pregnancy is sexy. I didn't like to have sex very often when I was pregnant. It took a toll on my sex drive. Well I have to go, but I hope you get everything figured out. Just don't worry too much right now, and get as much sleep and rest as you can. You shouldn't stress too much right now, it's bad for you and the baby. So just let it go for now and good luck with you and the little one!