[SuaveWazoo]

Me and my girlfriend of 5 months recently initiated a relationship break from each other. The reason is mainly because she just wants to be single for a while. She's entering a busy portion of her life where she wants to experience new things in our college as well as planning out her career and future. Additionally, she has been in relationships for nearly 4 years because she went out with her ex for 3.5 year and I got with her shortly afterward. All this makes her think that being in a relationship will be extra baggage for the time being. She tells me that she honestly does not place relationships on her top priority right now, and doesn't intend to enter a relationship anytime soon for the time being.

Another reason for the break is also because of certain little problems that have arisen between us. She feels that with our time away from being a romantic couple, we can fix these little problems individually and come back together in a stronger state. Granted, these things are not as bad as cheating or abuse, but they fall under the category little problems that ticked off both of us. I got a bit too clingy and dependent on her, and that made me insecure about my role in the relationship. I'm not particularly proud of this part of me, because I'm a normally independent person. For her, she was a bit too demanding and "naggy" and she hated this aspect of her because she told me that I don't deserve to be treated this way. Essentially, we don't blame each other in this relationship, but we're unhappy with our own performances in it.

We were best friends before we got together, and to this end we still enjoy each other's company. In fact, she still wants to hang out with me as friends, so this isn't really a NC kind of deal. It has been a while since we started this break, and I feel like at times certain parts of the relationship that ticked us off is not as apparent anymore (for example, I'm not as needy). However, I was the one who was "broke" with, and so I'm still sad and emotional about this. I still really love her, and it sometimes pains me to see her "get over" it so fast. My mind tells me that this is the best way to go, though, so I'm sticking to it.

Any feedback? I just want to know what people think and to see what I can come to expect in the future from this situation.

[iciclef]

Life is much too short for you to feel love and not have it returned from the person you want it from. Take your time and enjoy other people places and things - just as your friend is doing.

[Spikeman]

You can't make people want to be with you and if she wants to be single then tell her you respect that decision and leave it at that.

Simply if she doesn't want a relationship and doesn't want to be with you( she broke it off with you) the best thing you can do is be friends and keep it at that and concentrate on yourself and reflect back on the issues that were apparent in the relationship so that when you are in the next relationship the problems will hamper it as much.

[iciclef]

I truly hope that your life becomes full of all the wonderful and marvelous things that a real life and relations with people have to offer. There is JOY in life and it will come to you, no matter how dim it may seem now there IS light, love and happiness. Even I had it once and the mere thought of the past love in my life brings a smile to my face even now, because it was truly LOVE.

[talaniman]

so this isn't really a NC kind of deal.

Yes it most certainly is. As long as your doing the friends thing you will always have hope for more and be distracted from what you should be doing. Moving on as she has. Sorry guy but until you have mourned, and healed from the loss of this relationship, you will never be friends. You will be miserable.

Recognize what you need to do for yourself and do it, and be better for it!