[Jennifer0727]

I wrote last week, about my 40 year old daughter who accused her father of inappropriately touching her. She is an alcoholic and a bulemic and was hospalized for many months. She was brought in to the first hospital in a coma and they did not give her much a chance of survival, as she had convulsed and damaged her lungs and she was on life support system. She was drinking very heavy and was suffering from malnutrition and consequently went into a coma after convulsing. Like I said, the doctors did not give much hope, as he said her body was in such a bad shape and that she suffered brain damage. She pulled through this, but then started to have Grand Mal seizures every day and was put on Dilantin (seizure drug). We stayed by her side for months and believe me she was to hell and back with seizures, dillusions and not much memory. She went on to a rehabiliation centre, to learn to walk, talk and for speech help. She came to live with us and we took her to many, many doctors, neurologists, psychiatrists, bulemia meetings, on and on. We finally got her a little dog (which she loves animals) and she seemed to be getting better and was very bored living with us in the country. We finally decided, as she was getting stronger mentally and physically, to set her up in a apartment in the city, where she can walk to stores and be active. She knew she was an alcoholic and could not drink - - doctors confirmed to her many times, do not drink, as you will have further brain damage or could die, especially on all her drugs. Her seizures seemed to be getting lessened as she would put on a different seizure drug. Things were looking up and then out of the blue, a few weeks ago, after a meeting with the psychiatrist, she called screaming, saying she now knows her father abused her.
After another week, her father met with her face to face and told her that he loved her with all his heart and soul and he would never touch her. She had different versions of what exactly her father did. Then everything seemed to be going fine for about a week.As I was used to her moods and behaviour when she was drinking in the past, I now have found out that she is back to drinking. I can tell by her manner and her way of speaking, and she has now said, that her psychiatrist told her that a few glasses of wine, would not harm her and that she has been through a lot.
I am now even more distraugt then ever before, as we too had been to hell and back when she was recovering in the hospitals, but I had hope as I saw her getting stronger and more independent.
Now, with this new event of her back to drinking, knowing full well, that it might kill her or she will have further brain damage - - what do I do?
I confronted her last night and said, your drinking, aren't you? She said yes, but wouldn't you if you went through everything I did. I said, you know that you are testing fate, when you drink. She says she doesn't care and she is strong. Do you believe that a psychiatrist would tell her it is okay to drink and also if the psyciatrist had been told by my daughter that she was touched by her father, would she not call us in for a meeting.
Please help, I do not know where to go for some kind of intervention to save her life. I live in Canada, and do not know of someone I can talk to to get help, but fast for her.
All your answers would help at this time.

[MsMewiththat]

I am sorry about your daughter's struggle. Every are a is different, however we have a process where you can commit someone for at lease a 72 hour hold if they are a danger to themselves. I would attempt to get your daughter to a hospital again. She very well may be making this stuff up about what she was advised by the Dr. Also it is possible that she has some type of suppressed memory that is coming back and this is what haunted her all these years. It could be someone other than your husband that did it. She is 40 it's time to move forward and the only way to do that is for her to acknowledge what has derailed her all this time. Support is what she needs, it's not blame, it's no longer denial. PRAY!

[MsMewiththat]

I just read your other post and now understand that she does have something else in her history and everyone is telling you that things could possibly be getting twisted in her mind. I wonder if you can try a different approach and one of helping her find peace. Okay these things happened but how do we get her to find the value within her self and pick up the pieces? I don't know and I sympathize with your struggle. Some how some way she has to deal with the initial problem of the rape and that may not even release the pressure. I wish you all the luck and blessings. PRAY!

[chuff]

I think you need to pull her from that pychoatrist. He is implanting false memories into your daughter which is impending and in no way helping her cause. I have a friend who works with children who have had false allegations implanted by mothers towards fathers in during divorce proceedings and this absolutely ruins parent/child relationships despite the fact they are not true. If I was your husband, as hard as this would be I'd get away from her until she comes clean. If she can't and continues to see this "doctor" and continues to drink the proper kind of love is not to support this behavior by constantly giving it attention, but get away from it, so she can see you will not continue to support this.

[anonymous84]

Have you considered that maybe she is telling the truth? I am nearly 30 and just came to the realization that I was abused in nearly every way one can be abused by my father after having post-partum depression. Inappropriate touching was also involved. I am now being treated for Bipolar disorder and anxiety, which most likely stems from the abuse. I also have struggled with anorexia, bulimia, and binge drinking. There is likely a reason that your daughter struggles with alcoholism and bulimia. Something most likely happened in her past to disrupt her emotional development. I think you should try to be as supportive as you can to get to the bottom of what is causing her behavior, even if you do not like the answer.

[Nicola2-1]

Im in agreement with anonymous84 why would she make all this up all her problems are prberly from the abuse she's been through, give her story a chance. If she can't be believed how can she get better.