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    StarAngel85's Avatar
    StarAngel85 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 4, 2008, 11:26 PM
    Pregnant and Single
    Well I found out I was pregnant the day before mothers day when I told the guy all he said was abortion, I refused I don't approve of abortions especially since I wasn't careful with him. We did nothing to prevent me from getting pregnant, no condoms no nothing :confused: don't know why I let it happen, I liked him and I did what he wanted. We were never dating he made sure to point that out so after a few weeks I heard he wanted a paternity test, fine I was upset because he knows he was the only one I was with but now in my third month he denies he even got me pregnant and now has a girlfriend who he hasn't told her he's got a second child on the way and his 9-10 month old daughter he already has. He made me feel like some worthless slut and we don't talk at all he didn't want me to keep the baby and I don't want him around even if after its born he decides he wants to be. He barely takes care of the daughter he has now his mother does while he goes out with friends and girls till the morning. So I want to know if there is a way I can make sure to keep him away from my child once its born. Why if he wanted me to get an abortion should he have rights?
    boredINmind's Avatar
    boredINmind Posts: 87, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Jul 5, 2008, 12:15 AM
    I'm sorry that this happened to you and I'm SURE that you will not let it happen again. You should always protect yourself before you try to make someone else happy!

    Legally, I don't think there is much you can do to keep him away except go to court and get legal custody and a court order that he can't see the baby without you being there (or something similar). But honestly, I really doubt he is going to fight u on this one. He doesn't want this kid because either he doesn't want to pay child support or he doesn't want u trying to force the kid off on him in the future. Unless you are seeking child support, I wouldn't worry about it him trying to be involved. Especially since he already has one kid (that you know about!) that he doesn't care much about.

    I hope everything works out for you!
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Jul 5, 2008, 04:45 AM
    Honestly, You have said he denies it and does not want anything to do with the baby. I am glad you did not get pressured into having an abortion there are many people who feel pressured into having an abortion which I believe is wrong too.

    I think you should do your best to get after him for child support. Courts and all the stuff is needed. I would not think you want him to be involved so I would not worry about it either.

    I do hope that you will do the best in the situation that your in.

    Best wishes for you and your baby.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #4

    Jul 5, 2008, 07:05 AM
    Go after him for the child support and don't care about his rights to demand a paternity test
    It is usually best anyway so there are no lingering doubts in anybody's mind.

    Don't let him pressure you into not doing what you need to do. Why protect him and go against yourself and your baby.
    Sounds like the last thing on his mind would be wanting visitations unless he does it for some kind of spite.
    Miller11's Avatar
    Miller11 Posts: 40, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Jul 9, 2008, 02:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by StarAngel85
    Well i found out i was pregnant the day before mothers day when i told the guy all he said was abortion, i refused i don't approve of abortions especially since i wasn't careful with him. we did nothing to prevent me from getting pregnant, no condoms no nothing :confused: don't know why i let it happen, i liked him and i did what he wanted. we were never dating he made sure to point that out so after a few weeks i heard he wanted a paternity test, fine i was upset because he knows he was the only one i was with but now in my third month he denies he even got me pregnant and now has a girlfriend who he hasn't told her he's got a second child on the way and his 9-10 month old daughter he already has. he made me feel like some worthless slut and we don't talk at all he didn't want me to keep the baby and i don't want him around even if after its born he decides he wants to be. he barely takes care of the daughter he has now his mother does while he goes out with friends and girls till the morning. so i want to know if there is a way i can make sure to keep him away from my child once its born. why if he wanted me to get an abortion should he have rights?
    No he shouldn't have visitation rights. Obviously he does not care about your safety or even care about the baby. Ya having an abortion probably doesn't take long but it will scar you for the rest of your life and could make it harder to conceive in the future. And this is your choice but I wouldn't even put his name on the birth certificate. If you don't put it on there then you'll have to prove he's the father in order to get child support. Same goes for him, if you don't put his name on the birth certificate then he'll have to prove he's the baby's dad in order to get visitation rights. Take him for all he's worth which is probably not much considering he told you to have an abortion. You're doing the right thing and good luck to you and your baby.
    blackblue's Avatar
    blackblue Posts: 145, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Jul 11, 2008, 08:51 PM
    It's not up to you whether he has rights or not.It's up to the courts.There could be many reasons he would not want this child and even though he is being a a-hole and insensitive jerk, look at his part.He already has a kid.. he made another oops and he probably wants to "live" while he's still young.It's easy for him to feel that way because he is not the one growing a human being inside of him.

    He does, none the less, have to realize that he has a second child coming.I would talk to him now and ask him to be sure.Ask him if he wants to be a father straight up and if not if he is willing to sign over his rights.

    You also have to think about the child in this situation.The kid is going to want to have a connection with its biological father whether he has his together by then or not.Hopefully he does and he can tend to his child and fulfill his fatherly duties.


    Don't stress out.Stress cause damage to the body and depletes the body of important nutrients.It's just not healthy for you or mini you.


    Good luck
    starfirefly's Avatar
    starfirefly Posts: 397, Reputation: 33
    Full Member
     
    #7

    Jul 11, 2008, 09:06 PM
    He won't have rights unless... you let him sign the birth certificate, give the child his last name, or ask for child support

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