Is my ex boyfriend using me?

XxXbrokenXxX18 · Jun 29, 2008, 04:43 PM

After a year and five months that me and my ex fiancée were datng. He broke up with me.. and started treating me like.. well.. like a week ago we started talking again and we ended up hanging out and stuff and after a little while we ended up having sex.. and after we did it.. I asked him if he cared for me.and he said yes.. but he told me he didn't love me.. but like the whole night he was treating me like we were still together.. I am so confused.. I need advice

Alty · Jun 29, 2008, 04:49 PM

Kick this guy to the curb. He's using you for sex until something better comes along. I know it hurts, but better to get him out of your life now and move on. You don't deserve to be treated like this. He says he doesn't love you, well don't let him hurt you. Of course he treated you like you were still together, he wanted to have sex, that's all. I know it sounds harsh, but honey that's the way it is. Move on, you deserve better.

Distantlove · Jun 30, 2008, 05:41 AM

Get rid of him. He is using you and he has confirmed he doesn't have the same feelings that you have for him. So why settle for it? Move on. Surely you can't be happy having sex with him when at the back of your mind you know he is using you? You are not confused, you are just trying to find something better of it, because he was treating you as if you were together. Why? Because how else is he going to get you to have sex with you? There is nothing to be confused about here, it is all talk, he doesn't care, he cares for himself. Find a guy who is genuine.

talaniman · Jun 30, 2008, 07:55 AM

You knew you weren't together, but you wanted to be. You left yourself open, him, being nice, and found out all he really wanted was a booty call. Its not a coincidence you found out how he really feels after he got what he came for.

That's the way we men act when we want something, very nice, like we are together with you. Now that you know the game, learn to play it better. Ask questions, and talk about things, before you give him what he wants.

JBeaucaire · Jun 30, 2008, 09:08 AM

I think you BOTH used each other and got the recreational sex you BOTH wanted. Now you want the guilt you're feeling over it to be his fault, and I suppose that's normal. But it's not fine. He didn't rape you, he didn't manipulate you with false offers or anything. He showed you some attention and you climbed into bed with him.

You had sex again because you think that's the way you interact with a guy for fun. You were both horny, you are both familiar to one another, so you both participated in that outing. You BOTH used each other, OK? Own that.

Calling him an "ex" ultimately is the same as calling him "a guy I tried to have a relationship with and things don't work between us." If he were a stranger, sleeping with him might even make MORE sense since the stranger might make a good match for you and hasn't actually been tested on that point yet. Your ex and you tested each other on it and failed. So what's the deal? Since I don't recommend sleeping with strangers (who might actually BE a good match for you), I definitely don't recommend you sleep recreationally with a guy you KNOW already you don't work well with.

So, the only question is since this guy now holds the same equality in life to you as the postman, the BurgerKing boy and any other guy who you see and talk to but aren't "in a relationship" with... are you going to keep sleeping with non-boyfriends?