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mistybluesancho · Jun 23, 2008, 11:42 PM

Well I am 18 years old now and I have a daughter that I had at the age of 16 with a man who told me he was 19. I actually met him when I was 15, so that would make him 21 today, but just recently after I turned 18, I soon found at he’s actually 27 years old. And I was just wondering is there something, (anything) I can do as far as pressing charges against him. Honestly, I’m not OK with this situation I feel that it was wrong, very wrong of him to take advantage of me like that, I was just a little girl . I feel as if I was a little girl who didn’t know better and my rights were taken away by lies that he feed me. I really hope it is not OK for something like this to happen and him possibly get away with Statutory rape just because I found out after I turned 18 his real age.

gracie412 · Jun 24, 2008, 12:18 AM

If he was 24 and you were 15 the sex would qualify as statutory rape in most states. Each state has a different statute of limitations.

So, basically, you need to go to the sex crimes unit in your area and ask to speak with a detective. The fact that there is a child as a product of the rape is pretty strong evidence of the act. Your local police - sex crimes unit specifically, can tell you if anything can be done.

At the very least, he is responsible for child support. Good Luck and God Bless!

xena 777 · Jun 24, 2008, 12:30 AM

Originally Posted by mistybluesancho

Well I am 18 years old now and I have a daughter that I had at the age of 16 with a man who told me he was 19. I actually met him when I was 15, so that would make him 21 today, but just recently after I turned 18, I soon found at he’s actually 27 years old. And I was just wondering is there something, (anything) I can do as far as pressing charges against him. Honestly, I’m not ok with this situation I feel that it was wrong, very wrong of him to take advantage of me like that, I was just a little girl . I feel as if I was a little girl who didn’t know better and my rights were taken away by lies that he feed me. I really hope it is not ok for something like this to happen and him possibly get away with Statutory rape just because I found out after I turned 18 his real age.

That's really sad for you and your daughter. Im no expert but I think there would be some kind of law against that. I don't know if rape would be the answer though? Is that what happened really? Or are you just angry he lied too you? I would be angry too. You should seek legal advice from a Lawyer and no your rights..

twinkiedooter · Jun 24, 2008, 04:38 AM

You definitely should be collecting child support for your child from this man. If you know where he is now you can go to the child support office and they will help you collect the money due to your child. What he did was wrong, but punishing him now may not be possible if you wish to collect child support. Why didn't your parents step in when they knew you were pregnant or shortly after the child was born to press charges against him?

JudyKayTee · Jun 24, 2008, 06:33 AM

Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

You definitely should be collecting child support for your child from this man. If you know where he is now you can go to the child support office and they will help you collect the money due to your child. What he did was wrong, but punishing him now may not be possible if you wish to collect child support. Why didn't your parents step in when they knew you were pregnant or shortly after the child was born to press charges against him?

Wise woman, that Twinkie Dooter - if the OP gets him arrested (and we're not talking what's morally right) and put in jail, then who is going to support the child? And if the man is a convicted sex offender and gets out of jail, who's going to hire him and, again, what about child support - ?

ScottGem · Jun 24, 2008, 08:03 AM

My initial reaction was do you want support or revenge? Yes you may be able to press charges and have him prosecuted for statutory rape. With statutory rape, the only proof necessary would be that the sex occurred (the baby is proof of that) and that you were underage at the time. Even if he told you the truth, at 19 he would probably still be guilty.

But if you press charges, how will he pay support? Don't you think it would be a better revenge to hit him in the wallet?

bushg · Jun 24, 2008, 08:08 AM

Yes... but if he goes after visitation is her daughter safe with him?
He could very well seek visitation as a form of revenge or entitlement.

JudyKayTee · Jun 24, 2008, 08:37 AM

Originally Posted by bushg

Yes...but if he goes after visitation is her daughter safe with him?
He could very well seek visitation as a form of revenge or entitlement.

Good point - and he is the father so he is entitled to visitation - unless he's a danger to the child. Or in jail.

bushg · Jun 24, 2008, 08:39 AM

Me I would support my child and try to hold him accountable. Who's to say that he will not do this again.

mistybluesancho · Jun 24, 2008, 11:29 AM

Hi this is misty, well I just wanted to say, this has nothing to do with money, he doesn't support his kid, and his on child support with his other kid (that hasn't paid a dime to him either) and another thing is I know I'm not the only underage girl he messes with, he's done this before.

JudyKayTee · Jun 24, 2008, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by mistybluesancho

hi this is misty, well i just wanted to say, this has nothing to do with money, he doesnt support his kid, and his on child support with his other kid (that hasnt paid a dime to him either) and another thing is i know im not the only underage girl he messes with, hes done this before.

Well, if you don't care if he supports his "kid" or not, if you can support the child yourself, then go to the Police, take your proof and try to get him arrested.

You say you are not the only one he "messes" with, indicating present tense. Is the problem here that he doesn't support his child or that he's moved on and you want him punished?

I think it's a fair question if you expect good legal advice.

twinkiedooter · Jun 24, 2008, 02:19 PM

Well, Misty, if he's presently "messing" with other teens, then by all means have his ugly behind thrown in the can so he can't harm another girl. Had you said that initially, I would have told you to have him prosecuted within an inch of his life and spend the rest of his diddling days in prison where he belongs. Since he's already a deadbeat dad and you don't forsee him paying any child support to your child and if you can support your child alone, then definitely contact the DA's office and bring along any paperwork you have on this guy. He's nothing but a paedophile preying on young girls. Who knows how many kids this jerk really has out there? Have you been in contact with any of these other underage girls he's messing with? If so, bring them along to the DA's office. He deserves everything you and your fellow teens can dish out via the DA's office at him.

mistybluesancho · Jun 24, 2008, 02:53 PM

Well thanks for the support and the advice. Today I filed a report turns out there is something I can do because it was consentual its considered as rape "consentual rape" as they call it because I was underage . I have a case number now and a detective should be contacting me in a few days to proceed to press charges once they get all the information. Again I said "messing with" indicating present tense because just recently I found out his real age. I want him punished for what he did to me because like the millions of other teenage mothers I am here supporting a daughter on my own. Its unfair had I known his real age life would be very different. Also id like to prevent this from ever happening again to another girl.

ScottGem · Jun 24, 2008, 04:00 PM

Originally Posted by mistybluesancho

its unfair had i known his real age life would be very different. also id like to prevent this from ever happening again to another girl.

Ok, you aren't going to like some of what I have to say.

First, I do think you are doing the right thing by prosecuting this predator. Yes he did prey on you and committed statuory rape (your jurisidiction may call it consensual rape).

But what does the fact that you didn't know his real age have to do with it. YOU consented to have sex with him, possibly unprotected sex. You did this with the knowledge that you could get pregnant. You need to take some responsibility for this.

bushg · Jun 24, 2008, 04:04 PM

Scott on one hand I feel like your right but on the other hand he was a lot older than her. How does a child that much younger be able to consent to anythiing. We know nothing about what she had been taught as far as right versus wrong etc...

ScottGem · Jun 24, 2008, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by bushg

scott on one hand I feel like your right but on the other hand he was a lot older than her. ....

You have a point, But when she met him she was 15 and he claimed to be 18. She seems to be more angry that he lied about his age then that he got her pregnant. I think she needs to do some soul searching of her own.