[otis low]

Today I think I over done it this time. Today me and my girlfriend didn't talk on the phone like we usually do. She usually calls me when she gets off work and we talk all day if I'm not with her. But today she called me like 2 hours after she got off and when she called me she kept telling me that she will call me back and she's been doing it all day. So the last time she called me I asked her if she really love me does she truly have feelings for me. She answered yes but she was angry at me for asking her that. She was saying why should I even ask her a question like that why am I even thinking like that she said that it was pointless to think like that. She was really angry with me and she still is. Is it because I'm doubting her love or what and if I'm wrong what can I tell her to make her feel better

[Rezzend83]

I don't know how long you two have been together or not but yes that was a kind of premature judgement but its something that happens a lot. Its possible that you don't feel completely safe in the relationship, so when she didn't call and had to keep calling you back it made you feel unstable and scared you a little bit. Its not something that is easy to explain but if I'm right just let her know. Tell her your sorry for asking but you don't feel 100% safe in the relationship yet, but make sure you let her know that she hasn't done anything wrong because that can sound like an attack on how she has acted. Let her know that you appreciate everything she does but for some reason sometimes you get scared about how your relationship is doing. Some ways to slowly and very slowly get rid of this feeling is being able to talk to your significant other. Tell her when you don't feel the relationship is going well. Communication is the key in most relationships and helps a lot when someone isn't feeling completely safe

[Simple Asian]

how long has you guys been together ? And how old you guys if you don't mind answering..

girl.. dont like us guys asking them those question espscially the L word... action speak louder than words... if you asking them that.. they also thinking that you think they don't love you enough but they do.. and it hurt them

THNK ABOUT IT ^^

[Romefalls19]

Let me get this straight, you're angry at her because she didn't spend all day on the phone with you? You both need to have your own lives and stop making yours lives about each other, she realized this, you haven't. This DOES NOT mean she loves you any less, actually means she cares for the relationship, if you spend too much time together and forget about the life you had before you met the other person you are doomed to fail and grow tired of each other. Go out with your friends, you shouldn't have to talk to your girlfriend all the time to know that she loves you and if you do, your relationship has a lot more problems than you lead on.

[bigbird213]

I agree.

It sounds like there are jealousy/codependence problems in the relationship. You both need to be at an equal level and both be comfortable being by yourselves for most of the time. Once you "NEED" to be with the other person, the relationship will start heading down hill. One person will feel smothered and the other will push even harder...

[talaniman]

That was a dumb thing to ask, but it shows how insecure you are and that's something you must work on. You depend way too much on her attention to make you happy, not healthy, nor is it attractive.

[Chery]

Here's what you've written so far in other threads:

15 Jun 2008 - I'm so worried when she goes out

I'm a young man in a relationship with a girl that's has a baby that I treat like mine her baby father nowhere around and so I stepped up to the plate and took on the responsibilities me and my girlfriend has an pretty strong relationship we've know each other for years and just started dating recently I love her with all my heart and she loves me but the problem is that she likes to go out with her friends all the time and it makes me so nervous because she also likes to drink she always tell me to trust her she doesn't want anyone else. I'm asking should I believe her and just trust her or should I be worried from this

17 Jun 2008 - known my girlfriend for 13 years

I've known my girlfriend for 13 years we used to be very good friends since we were children and we've always seemed to get together every summer when we were younger.but for like a 2 years I lost total contact of her then just recently I meet back with her and she had a baby but for some strange reason the baby attracted me to her more plus the babyfather is nowhere around. But we seem to really like each other and really seem happy with each other and we also love each other very much but I need to know if is true love

And now... why am I wrong for asking...

Hello otis

You don't have to start a new thread each time for advice on the same subject. If you don't like the advice and object to us asking you questions to get a clearer picture - that's YOUR problem. But please don't expect us to jump all over the place to get sympathy and soothing words from people who seriously intend to help those that come here with legitimate issues.

Your issue is, in my opinion, that you are obsesssed with this girl even though she has had other men in her life and has a child from one of them. You jumped into her life at a time you thought advantageous to you by projecting the care you have for her on the baby in hopes that she will feel more for you than she does.
You are using this child to be near her and are so totally insecure in this relationship that you are going to drive yourself, her, and unfortunately the baby, nuts.

I strongly suggest that you grow up and look at life the way it really is, not the way you wish it would be. You are hurting yourself with this fantasy and I wish that you would stop acting like a doormat and then crying about it. Are you a man or a little kid? If you have to beg her for attention and put yourself so low in your self-respect, you need to think about seeing a professional for help.

Please stop running all over the place like this and stop begging her to be your ready-made family. This will not work out. A 13-year old crush does not mean anything if you have not grown up in all of these years.

Please, please, do a reality check and have a little more respect for YOURSELF!

[Alty]

I have to agree with all the other posters. You are like a little lost puppy, constantly asking for a bit of attention, sooner or later you have to grow up.

She has a child yet you expect her to talk to you on the phone all day, when is she taking care of this child? You say you love her and the child, yet you are constantly hounding her for attention, which takes attention away from the baby.

You are a full time job, allot of work, no relationship should be this hard to maintain, if it is then it won't work. Give her some space, trust her. If she says she'll call you back, then she'll call you back, if she can't talk to you all day then maybe it's because she has other things to take care of and can't take care of you too.

You are too insecure, stop it, get some help and stop questioning everything she does, says, or doesn't say.

Good luck.