[presley]

About a year ago I became serious with a guy for the first time, and he was my world for the months.Before I had met him I was "talking" with his friend for a long time and we had stopped.Once I became envolved with my "love" the old boy came back and asked if I would leave my "love" for him... and I did. I regret it everyday and at that time I was scared I was just rushing everything to quickly. I am still not over my "love" to this day and I hate the "other guy" that I left him for, and for some reason my "love" gave me another chance... and I didn't take it... why do I miss and love him so much, but when I am with him I feel so trapped and I just don't want to be with him. :confused:

Help

[twinkiedooter]

You are too young to worry about love, etc right now. You are probably going to fall in and out of love several times a year until you are at least 25. Relax. Just go back to the one you have the most feelings for.

[Fr_Chuck]

This is what being young and learning is all about,

[JBeaucaire]

Yep, the only thing you can state for absolute certainty, based on your story, is that as soon as someone is close to you then YOU want to be somewhere else. This means the uncontrollable feelings you have for others (that we all have) are worse for you because your mind isn't capable yet of filtering out those feelings and letting you focus on trying to be happy and faithful with one guy.

There's nothing wrong with you, you're just not ready. No harm, no foul.

Now, if you lead boys in close and then chase them away or hate them while you have them, then "no harm no foul" is wrong... you will be doing great harm.

In your situation, I would practice absolute honesty with every guy you go out with. "I really like you and would love to go out, but I'm not ready for anything exclusive, so as long as you know that, great!"

Now you never have to worry about letting anyone down because you're not falsely promising allegiance or faithfulness that would only make you miserable.

For now.

Someday you will realize your perspective on men has changed quite a bit and you're no longer dating them for what they can give you or because of the uncontrollable love pangs you have for them. No, you will wake up one day and realize the guy(s) you are dating now are guys that are bringing out the best in your character, behaviors about being there for them, sacrificial behavior and selflessness that doesn't have time for the kind of the self-focused agony you're going through right now with these two guys.

It will be an awesome day. But it probably won't be anytime soon, which is fine. These things grow as they will. Relax, slow down this pace enjoy the company of boys you like without adding all the misery-creating drama. You don't need it.

[talaniman]

why do I miss and love him so much, but when I am with him I feel so trapped and I just don't want to be with him. :confused:

You haven't learned to cope with those strong intense feelings in a mature way so of course you think its love when its not. Give yourself some time to learn.