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trying4babykirk · May 3, 2008, 02:23 PM

Hi, me and my husband have been Trying to conceive for about 10 months now, we did the whole "dont try and it will happen" thing.. well that didn't work!

I have taken so many pregnancy test, we could have adopted a child with the money I have spent. (I don't believe there is ANYTHING wrong with adopting) Every time, negative after negative after negative. It just really got me down, so this last one that I bought I debated buying/taking it for awhile, because it always just bums me out when its negative!

Ok now for the delimma I am 3-4 days late and I really don't want to go out and buy/take a hpt because I am scared it will be negative. I have been 1-2 days late before and still negative, but never this long. I don't have any pregnancy symptoms. UUUggghhhh.. this is so frustratiing, and I really didn't even want to think about getting pregnant because I have been trying "dont get your hopes up" thing. Now I can't stop thinking about it!

Anyone been here before? I need some encouragement or help! Thanks in advance!

ChihuahuaMomma · May 3, 2008, 06:23 PM

I think if you are trying, then keep a bunch of pregnancy tests at home in the bathroom. Buy a few packs. And if you are more late than normal try waiting a few more days and then take another test.

Just try and tell yourself that you're meant to be a mommy and WHEN it's supposed to happen it will.

I wish you all the luck and patience in the world.

J_9 · May 3, 2008, 07:33 PM

Remember, you have only been trying for 10 months. It can take many women over a year of trying to conceive. I was talking about this with my mother today since she is here visiting for my graduation, and she told me that it took her 7 years of actively trying before she became pregnant with me.

Have you visited a fertility specialist yet? Has your husband been tested?

ChihuahuaMomma · May 3, 2008, 07:37 PM

7 Years? WOW! A fertility specialist is a great idea. And just remember trying is fun!

Alty · May 3, 2008, 07:43 PM

Trying should be fun, if it stops being fun then it's called work. ;)

It took me 10 months to get pregnant with my second, so don't give up, just stop stressing about it, that doesn't help either.

For me it finally happened because something else came up and I actually though to myself, "Maybe we should wait a bit longer, there's so much to deal with right now", we ended up booking a trip to Mexico and put the baby making thing on the back burner.

Three days before we were due to leave for Mexico I found out I was pregnant, YES, wait, it's an all inclusive resort, free alcohol, well, doesn't that just beat all? ;)

I was sick for the entire trip, but hey, who cares, I was having a baby.

You'll get there, really you will, it's way to early to start worrying.

Good Luck.

trying4babykirk · May 3, 2008, 08:47 PM

Thanks so much for all your help.. I haven't really been stressing about it much. The main reason I have been thinking about it the last few days 1) because Ia m late, and 2) because I had a back injury and was given hydrocodone, and was worried sick that if maybe I was pregnant I should not take them. I did stop taking them just in case I am not risking ANYTHING, I know it might sound crazy but I would rather suffer than risk my possible pregnancy!

DoulaLC · May 4, 2008, 08:13 AM

It's difficult not to get your hopes up when you are trying... I'd say, it is pretty much impossible! Since you don't want to spend anymore on pregnancy tests if you don't have to... and you have been a couple of days late before for your period... maybe just treat yourself as though you might be, and try to wait and see what happens. If you don't start in another week or so, maybe try a test then.

trying4babykirk · May 4, 2008, 12:26 PM

I just want everyone to know that its not spending the money on the test, that makes me now want to get one. It just actually taking it, and getting (negative) results is the part that makes me so apprenesive to get it.

Thanks for all the advice! Keep it coming, it keeps me busy while trying to wait just a few more days! I am testing on Tuesday morning if my period has not come by then! I will keep everyone posted! Wish me LUCK! :)

ChihuahuaMomma · May 4, 2008, 01:19 PM

Good luck!!

Alty · May 4, 2008, 03:51 PM

Me too, Good Luck, I hope it's positive. :)

Synnen · May 4, 2008, 04:22 PM

Okay, we've been Trying to conceive for 7 years. We can't afford a fertility specialist, and for personal reasons, adoption is out for me.

I KNOW how you feel. It's like you're a failure every single time you see that blood every month. And stressing doesn't help--but how the heck do you NOT stress?

People say "don't think about it, don't worry so much about it, then it will happen". Well, that's like if there's an eight-ton pink elephant in the living room, and you have to ignore it before it will go away. It's really hard to NOT think about something that big.

Remember, it's only been 10 months. I know that sounds trite, as if 10 months wasn't worthy of your worry or something--and that's not what I mean. It DOES take quite a bit of time to conceive for many many people. For all of those people that get pregnant the first month they're trying (or who get pregnant when they're NOT trying--don't you HATE those people?), there are 2 couples that go the route of IVF or adoption.

Take a deep breath, and make a new promise to yourself. Whlie you're allowed to treat yourself as though you're pregnant the second you miss a period (and what's with these people that swear they're pregnant the day after they have sex, anyway?)--you don't take a test until you are 10 days late (or a week, or 2 weeks, or whatever). Even without stress--and hoping is a HUGE stress on your body, because the opposite of hope is disappointment, and you're fighting being disappointed before it even happens--the menstrual cycle can fluctuate. It's still disappointing, but not nearly as disappointed as the negative on the test.

trying4babykirk · May 4, 2008, 05:17 PM

TO SYNNEN: wow.. you hit the nail on the head with that one.. YES THOSE PEOPLE THAT Don't TRY... GGRRRR.. GETS ME Every time!! Anyway (ok back down to earth.. lol) I have vowed that I will not take a test until the date that the previous months last peiod ended on.. if that makes since. Like the last day of my last period was the 5th, so I am not taking a test until the 5th or 6th of this month. Hopefully that is long enough that the correct results will show up and maybe cross my fingers it will be positive! Anyway, thanks for the encouragement, the real encouragement, instead of just hang in there, keep trying, blah blah blah. And Kudo's to you for trying for 7 years, I don't think I could try that long!

My husband and I already discussed adoption in the far future if conceiving naturally does not work! So Good JOB!! Way to be patient!

Cutoo · May 4, 2008, 07:35 PM

Just a thought...

You can also purchase HPTs online...

Early Pregnancy Tests and Ovulation Predictor Kits for Home Use

If you have them in bulk, you can test whenever you feel the need...

trying4babykirk · May 5, 2008, 09:09 AM

UPDATE: Took a test this morning (5 days late) and it was a big fat negative! :( Maybe I tested to soon I don't know, but we will try again next month! ;)

amIwrong · May 5, 2008, 09:32 AM

Just wait, I mean, are you in a hurry to hear bad news? You will know sooner then later. Stats say 12 months is normal, but I know lots, if not most women who took on average 2 years and most times more. I think after so many "after school specials" we are somewhat conditioned to be fearful of getting pregnant to a point where we think it happens sooooooo easy. You are fine, I know it's hard not to focus on, but in a way you have no chioce. You don't want to take on the stress of being in such a rush that you cause yourself a debt by way of IVF or any such thing if it could be avoided due to not taking it easy once we're ready. If anything then maybe talk to a repo endo about fetility drugs such as clomid, and take it slow, stress free. It sounds like simple advice, but really, your not doing yourself any service by getting upset. If you do a repo endo at some point then make sure to use your flexible spending account if you have one, it will pay off.

Originally Posted by trying4babykirk

Hi, me and my husband have been TTC for about 10 months now, we did the whole "dont try and it will happen" thing..well that didnt work!!

I have taken so many pregnancy test, we could have adopted a child with the money I have spent. (I dont beleive there is ANYTHING wrong with adopting) Everytime, negative after negative after negative. It just really got me down, so this last one that I bought I debated buying/taking it for awhile, because it always just bums me out when its negative!

Ok now for the delimma I am 3-4 days late and I really dont want to go out and buy/take a hpt because I am scared it will be negative. I have been 1-2 days late before and still negative, but never this long. I dont have any prego symptoms. UUUggghhhh..this is so frustratiing, and I really didnt even want to think about getting pregnant because I have been trying "dont get your hopes up" thing. Now I can't stop thinking about it!

Anyone been here before? I need some encouragement or help! Thanks in advance!

monkey324 · May 5, 2008, 10:18 AM

All I can really say is if you really want a baby you should pray and wait for it just remember that EVERYTHING happens for a reasonand when your meant to have a baby you will I only wanted one and now I'm blessed with 3 and with this pregnant. I was on meds. The same as you and didn't even think I could be pregnant. And I ended up pregnant. And I mean I am having problems but none that have to do with the meds. Just what god has planned.

Synnen · May 5, 2008, 11:03 AM

Originally Posted by monkey324

all i can really say is if you really want a baby you should pray and wait for it just remember that EVERYTHING happens for a reasonand when your meant to have a baby you will i only wanted one and now im blessed with 3 and with this preg. i was on meds. the same as you and didnt even think i could be preg. and i ended up preg. and i mean i am haveing problems but none that have to do with the meds. just what god has planed.

I know I'm not the OP in this situation, but your explanation doesn't give a lot of comfort to those trying so very hard to get pregnant and have it not happen month after month after month. If it's God's will--why am I being punished with infertility, then? If a child is a blessing, why am I denied that blessing?

Sounds like a pretty horrible god, to me. Punishing me and denying me something that would make my husband and I very happy for some odd sin or another that I can't rectify because I have no idea what it is in the first place.

After so long, the explanation "It's God's will" comes across as God liking poor little stupid teenagers that got pregnant for the 3rd time by the 3rd guy better than he likes me. I know that's not what you mean, but that's how it comes across to my head.

I know you're trying to be comforting to those of us trying, and especially to TFBK (the original poster), but just remember that it's NOT God's will that we suffer. A loving god would never wish that kind of heartache upon anyone.

amIwrong · May 5, 2008, 01:11 PM

RIGHT ON! I have always been a believer in, as far as God is concerned, we are in a time were we have tools and able to use to them to get a result in an attempt to achieve our desire, either by way of God or not. I thought, yea, no offense but it's really easy to say "leave it up to God" when your not going through it, or have had a struggle with it (guessing). I mean, c'mon, if you had cancer I doubt you would likely say, "ah skip treatment, this is God's will". You would likely think, God gave me the knowledge and tools to fight it so I will. Synnen your awesome.

Originally Posted by Synnen

I know I'm not the OP in this situation, but your explanation doesn't give a lot of comfort to those trying so very hard to get pregnant and have it not happen month after month after month. If it's God's will--why am I being punished with infertility, then? If a child is a blessing, why am I denied that blessing?

Sounds like a pretty horrible god, to me. Punishing me and denying me something that would make my husband and I very happy for some odd sin or another that I can't rectify because I have no idea what it is in the first place.

After so long, the explanation "It's God's will" comes across as God liking poor little stupid teenagers that got pregnant for the 3rd time by the 3rd guy better than he likes me. I know that's not what you mean, but that's how it comes across to my head.

I know you're trying to be comforting to those of us trying, and especially to TFBK (the original poster), but just remember that it's NOT God's will that we suffer. A loving god would never wish that kind of heartache upon anyone.

trying4babykirk · May 5, 2008, 05:10 PM

I apprecitate all of the responses. But just to clarify since I am the original poster, I strongly believe in "God's will", the Bible which is the book that believers should try their hardest to live by says in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you", the be a strong believer you have to trust God.

Don't get me wrong, yes it very much so bothers me when I see young teenager mothers that makes me think, I could be such a better mom and give that baby a better life, I have to remind myself God has a plan for that mother and that new baby.

My husband and I have already discussed that if we are not blessed with our own biological child, then we will eventually get the baby by adoption that God has planned for us to have. We will NOT be doing any kind of medical intervention. We trust God in the plans that He has created for us.

This is not to say that we can not be upset or discouraged or sad or even mad, when we (all the trying women) don't get pregnant, but in the long run I hope that everyone can trust God, I do! Yes I am very sad/discouraged but we are all human, and God gave us emotions, to express them and to use them to help others and glorify Him.

I would like to leave you with this "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God" Phillipians 4:6

amIwrong · May 6, 2008, 04:13 AM

Whatever is the best course for you, best wishes.

Originally Posted by trying4babykirk

I apprecitate all of the responses. But just to clarify since I am the original poster, I strongly believe in "God's will", the Bible which is the book that believers should try their hardest to live by says in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you", the be a strong believer you have to trust God.

Dont get me wrong, yes it very much so bothers me when I see young teenager mothers that makes me think, I could be such a better mom and give that baby a better life, I have to remind myself God has a plan for that mother and that new baby.

My husband and I have already discussed that if we are not blessed with our own biological child, then we will eventually get the baby by adoption that God has planned for us to have. We will NOT be doing any kind of medical intervention. We trust God in the plans that He has created for us.

This is not to say that we can not be upset or discouraged or sad or even mad, when we (all the trying women) dont get pregnant, but in the long run I hope that everyone can trust God, I do! Yes I am very sad/discouraged but we are all human, and God gave us emotions, to express them and to use them to help others and glorify Him.

I would like to leave you with this "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God" Phillipians 4:6