[icemarie]

I became pregnant in Dec, The baby's father told me he would help me and stay with me. Eventually I noticed he was doing nothing to help me. Suddenly he was living with his mother again and following all her commands. Suddenly all our plans were out the window and he began threatening me with taking away my child. Then he broke up with me. Now my fear is because he left me with nothing is how I can make sure he doesn't take my child. First of, I'm a student at college, I haven't been able to get a job do to my pregnancy and anemia, I live with friends of my family, and have no idea of how I can protect myself and my child. What should I do? What are my Rights?

[N0help4u]

You need to make sure you have stability. If you are living different places he can hold that against you so you need your family friends to vouch that you are not in danger of being tossed out if he decides to make that an issue. As long as he can not prove you an unfit mother or unable to care for your baby you should be okay. He can go to court and try to get custody but as long as he can not prove anything against you then the most he should be able to do is get joint custody with visitations.

[Fr_Chuck]

As soon as the child is born, you don't put his name on the birth certificate, that way he has to go to court to do anything. But you take him to court, file for custody, and file for child support, so he helps pay for the chlld.

[babieface85]

Don't do drugs, don't drink, and don't smoke around the baby and you should be fine... oh and don't shop lift or do any other crimes

If you do that stuff he might be able to take you kid, but look a brittney, think about all she had to do to lose her kids

You won't lose your baby

[ldyastrid]

In order to have a child taken from you, you must be proven to be unfit... poverty - even homeless doesn't make someone unfit - this was told to me straight from a child protective services worker.

I have heard many times of guys telling moms they will take their children away from them if they didn't --fill in the blank--... it's not that easy. They are obligated to pay support once paternity is established - child support and visitation are totally separate issues.

My suggestion would be to apply for WIC, medical assistance, food stamps - the whole nine yards, once the child is born, you will be directed to work with child support to prove paternity and they will help you establish child support.

The welfare system is there to help you through a temporary situation - utilize what's available to you, your child deserves any and all resources you can tap into. Let the system help you and don't allow yourself to be bullied by the sperm donor!

[laeldevon]

You know he don't need to be a father if he is going to run away from the problem. You can do it all by yourself with little help of friends and family. You can go to department of social services and they can give you instruction how to go through the process of keeping him away and how can still take care of the baby with out him being there. Yes having a stable place to live so you and your baby won't be boused around is the key that is the only thing he can say. Maybe that you don't have money to take care of the baby properly but that doesn't matter you have a good baby shower and you'll have everything you need until you can find a job.plus that's what dss is there for to help people that needs help but it looks like your friends are a big help I'm sure you will find a solution to problem in due time.

[monkey324]

I am 19, with a 3year old and a 7month old, and now 4 months pregnant. All my baby's have different daddys my 3year olds dad wants nothing to do with us, my 7month olds father moved outa state when I told him and now this ones dad is my soon to be ex husband, he has said he was going to take my child as well, and it did make me upset, but really he can't he can't keep a job, he lives with his parents, he drinks, and I own my own home bought and paid for I do not have a job and never have, but I do have money and if there came a time I didn't my parents would help me out, now I don't know if you believe in god, but that's what keeps me strong, he would never give you anything you couldn't handle, just pray it works I promise

[MGMorden]

I wouldn't worry much, though I know it's hard not to.

My sister (she's 20) is in a very similar situation right now. She's 4 months pregnant now (which is about where it sounds like you are at). The father is your typical deadbeat loser. For the longest time she thought I was just being a brother and "just wouldn't like anybody she was dating". Needless to say he cheated on her at least twice (that he got caught). She went back to him both times. He then beat her up in the parking lot of a gas station last Halloween. The cops were called and took a report, but she refused to press charges. She's back with him a week later.

Now, since she's pregnant (and starting to put on a few baby pounds so she's not as attractive anymore), he's told her he wants nothing to do with her and that she needs to take her stuff and go, BUT he's still wanting involvement with the baby when it comes. She's moved in with our parents for the time being, but he's threatening legal action if she doesn't submit to joint custody. No matter how much I tell her that the court would never award him custody with a past record like that, she's still scared to death that he'll get at least partial custody. She has the full support of the family (my parents, myself, and my brother and his wife who are also pregnant with their first child right now), so it's not like she'll not have a stable environment for it or anything.

The sad thing is, even after all this, she STILL is talking about wanting to get back together with him "one day" if he'd take her back. My sister is a beautiful girl. She's won Lord knows how many beauty pageants and even competed for Miss Teen South Carolina a few years back. To say she can do better is an understatement. Why the heck can't she leave an obviously bad apple alone?