[csquared]

I was just curious. To all of you young brides out there, how supportive was your family of your decision to marry young? How active of a role did they play in planning and in the actual ceremony?

For those of you whose families weren't as supportive, how long did it take for them to get over it and realize that this is YOUR life and YOUR decision?

My immediate family is accepting the fact that I'm getting married at 20, but my extended relatives don't seem to "happy" about our decision. I'm not getting any "congrats", just "you're so young". I get it from members at my church too. I just think it's rude. I wish people would at least try to keep their opinions to themselves and let me live MY life.

How did you deal without letting them know that you're annoyed by their concerns? I do respect their concerns, but they're getting old. Our wedding is getting closer. We have reserved our venues and entertainment and we have a date. Part of me doesn't even want to send STD cards and just elope so that my family won't HAVE to join in our celebration.

What do you think?

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

Half of me agrees with your extended family and the other half agrees with you.

It's a tough situation to grasp.

I am the same age as you and have been with my boyfriend for two years. If I wanted to, I would get married now, but I know that I need to invest some more time in my relationship to make such a big decision.

Yes, this is your life but you have to realize that when you make such choices, it affects everyone that cares for you so you must be open to all opinions. No, they can't stop you, but they can delay with words. They only are only concerned for what's best for you and the groom. They may worry that because you are so young, it won't last.

But hey, some couples have been together since they were 20 and now are 85. Marriage is a mystery. You don't know if one day you'll wake up and realize that this man isn't the one for you. I hope that doesn't happen but it might. People change as they get older so expect the unexpected.

I congratulate you and wish you only the best!

[jillianleab]

I was 20 when I got engaged, and 21 when I got married. I've been happily married for six years this June. I have not regretted my decision a single day since I said, "I do". BUT, hubby and I are lucky - we've grown TOGETHER since getting married, and a lot of young couples grow apart.

But no, my family was not overly supportive of my decision. I had several friends who were getting married around the same time, and my mom thought I just wanted to "be a part of the marriage bandwagon". It made dress shopping and all of those other things that are supposed to be fun very stressful. So believe me, I know where you are coming from! I also heard, "You're soooo young...." every time I turned around.

My family was pretty stubborn - it took them a while to accept that this was my decision and be happy about it. They finally accepted that I was doing it whether they were happy about it or not, and that came around the time we started booking locations and vendors. I'd say they didn't "accept" my decision until after I was married...

I dealt with it by carrying on with what I planned... and venting (a LOT!) to friends. I know the temptation to elope, but consider how your family would feel if you did that. It's possible that will only make things worse.

I will warn you that getting married so young comes with some difficulties. As I said, my hubby and I grew together, lots of people grow apart. We are both completley different people now than we were when we got married, but thankfully, it works for us. Only you can answer the question on if you should be getting married right now, but please, please be honest with yourself. If there is any part of you that is hesitant, please wait. You don't want to ruin a great relationship with a nasty divorce; you have a much better chance at hanging onto it if you stay together but unmarried for a few years if you are unsure.

I wish you the best of luck, hang in there!

[actlikemywife]

Get used to the comments. As you age, they will continue, "too young," will progress to "too thin to be pregnant" to absurdities such as "your husband is so nice there must be SOMETHING WRONG with him." Maybe they just don't have as big as a vocabulary as you and it is their way of showing true concern for you. Just ignore it and DANCE A HAPPY FABULOUS WONDERFUL DANCE WITH YOUR HUSBAND AND Don't let them hold you back with negative clichés! Maybe say, "Oh, I hold you in such esteem, I was looking forward to your blessing." Then, they'll realize they've sort of insulted you without you insulting them. PS: Don't elope, you'll miss out on lots of presents, and maybe rob your immediate family of experiencing the transition necessary to completely accept your hubby into the home "tribe." What do you think? :)