[lilmama19]

My baby's father and his mother are planning to take away my baby. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I love my baby that's growing in my belly I have the ultrasounds I go to every doctors appointment and everything. What can I do so they don't take away my first newborn child I love my baby even though its not here yet.

[Alty]

How old are you? Do you have a job, your own place to live, or do you live with and off your parents? What does the babies father have to say about all of this?

If you are independent and can make it on your own then they would have to prove that you are an unfit mother before they can take away your child.

If you don't have a job or your own place than I think your first priority is to get both. Show these people that you are going to be responsible for the life that you have created, if you can't do that then maybe you shouldn't keep this baby. Also, the father of the child should be paying to help support it once it is here.

Show them that you are old enough to be a mother, not just old enough to have a child.

Good Luck.

[lilmama19]

I am not working right now because my morning sickness is so bad I can't be on my feet I mean one of my family members I work for them at home but that's my only source of income my baby's father doesn't have a job, doesn't have his own place. I have to get foodstamps to help me out I'm on wic, I mean I can only do what I can do for right now but pregnancy either changes you for the better or it doesn't change you and I don't think anybody is ever ready to have a baby but I'm learning daily new things to bond with my baby and about motherhood

[Marriedguy]

They can't take away your baby. That is totally illegal.

[Alty]

Bonding with your baby is great, it is an amazing time when you're pregnant, it's also a very emotional time. Maybe you should read my other post.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...ns-188635.html

Even though it's a little late for this advice, don't base your decision solely on how you feel about this child, think also about this child, it is an innocent little being that has the right to have the best life that you can provide for it. If you aren't able to do this than the most unselfish thing would be to find someone who can. Remember:

If you love something, let it go.
If it comes back to you, it yours.
If it doesn't, it never was.

You've got to figure out what to do all by yourself, I just hope you don't only think about you but also about the baby.

I wish you all the best. Take care.

[RissG]

I have to agree with altenweg. Do what is in the best interests of that little bundle in your belly. And with the not working from morning sickness... Ha! It's only going to get worse. Try working full time after being up all night with a colicky little one. Motherhood isn't all cute baby clothes and snugglyness (though those are the best parts). It also takes a lot of responsibility, time, and above all, sacrifice. If neither of you are willing to give up partying, smoking, drinking, or what have you, for the next 18 years, it is best if you and the baby's father discuss adoption. It's a harsh reality, but still a reality.

[Fr_Chuck]

First since you are not married, you do not have to even put his name on the birth certificate, for them to try and take the baby, after the baby is born, they will have to file for custody in court, most likely at best they cuould get joint custody ( you 1/2 and him 1/2). And you will file against him for possible child support.

You can't really file anything till the baby is born, ( and they can't either)
You may want to talk to a legal aid person, who can help you in keeping your child. Also here are many women's groups, shelters and more that help new mothers get on their feet in many major cities, if you have a case worker ask them about some

[mirandycc]

My husband and I weren't married at the time of my child's birth, and I was told if I did not put his name on the birth certificate, and we sign an alfadavit, then he wouldn't have any parental rights to the child, so if you don't put his name on the birth certificate, he has no way of getting the child...

[Chery]

You still did not tell us how old you or the father were, but that is beside the point right now. You are carrying a life inside that will eventually grow up and want - and well deserves to know his or her grandparents - and father too.

I hope you have the support of your family members, and you can get social groups involved too. But if you are not at total 'war' with the boy's parents - how about a meeting with all members involved and plan for the future of your child together. It might work - and that's your choice... they might agree to be just plain grandparents and want to see the baby now and then - which would help you and the baby emotionally for the better.

If they are against you and you feel threatened by them, then you have a right to say so and get the help you need legally and emotionally too.

You might feel that the world will be OK with just you and the baby, but that is truly wishful thinking, so do some serious planning and look toward the future of your baby for the best, dear.

Who knows, it all might be just stressfull now, but might work out eventually, so don't stress yourself out during your pregnancy - it's not good for you and not good for the baby either. The less stress, the better. Life sometimes does look messed up to all of us sometimes, but after some thinking and planning it can be changed for the better.. with a bit of communication. But nobody can just come up and take your baby away - so don't stay stuck on that fear and work on what happens next.

I wish you all the best, dear. Keep us posted.

Babies can be wonderful, but they are also tedious and are a big responsibility - make sure you get help in coping - maybe a single mother group that will help before and after the baby gets here.