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bassistguy · Dec 30, 2005, 02:45 PM

Ok, I need some friendly advice. I'm sure a lot of you have had someone that was in your life at one point that you can't seem to get out of your mind. With that being said, I dated this girl about 5 years ago. We really weren't together that long.. a couple of months or so. Well, after we broke it off, we still hung out a couple times after that for the next 2 years. Well, at the end of 2002, beginning of 2003, she moved to CA, for a couple of reasons. I didn't know this until I tried to call her at work one time, and the manager said that she moved to CA. One of her favorite bands was Zebrahead, and they are from CA. She was practically in love with this band. I know she moved there for other reasons as well. Well, around that time I moved out of the place I was living in at the time, and I got a cell phone. So, she didn't have my new number or anything. I have not spoken to her since.

For some reason, I can NOT get her out of my mind... I never have been able to. I had a freakin' dream about her the other night! When I think about her, it's a complete "I miss you", or "I want to see you again" feeling... just one of those run-down, saddening feelings? It hasn't gotten any better, whatsoever. (I have dated plenty of girls since me and her were together, but for some reason, she sticks in my mind... 5 years after we were together!) So, my question is... would it be a bad thing on my part to try to contact her?. send her a letter or something?. just asking how she's doing, etc? The only way I'd be able to do that is to ask her parents to send it to her, but then that would be the other uncomfortable feeling. Is this even normal to feel this way? I don't know... what do you think? :confused:

nymphetamine · Dec 30, 2005, 03:16 PM

There was one particular man I couldn't stop thinking about since 1996 and although Im trying to make an effort to move on If I knew how to contact him yes I would. If you know how to get a hold of her then do. She is someone you really cared about and I highly doubt she would mind. Don't feel uncomfortable. At least you can find out how she is doing and maybe sleep better.

bassistguy · Dec 30, 2005, 04:08 PM

Originally Posted by crankiebabie

There was one particular man I couldnt stop thinking about since 1996 and although Im trying to make an effort to move on If I knew how to contact him yes I would. If you know how to get a hold of her then do. She is someone you really cared about and I highly doubt she would mind. Dont feel uncomfortable. Atleast you can find out how she is doing and maybe sleep better.

Well, another thing I didn't add, which I just thought about yesterday. She made a "joking" comment while we were still together... "So, you're not the type of person who becomes a stalker after a break up, are you?"... or something to that effect. It was a joke, but, it still is sizzling in my head.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 30, 2005, 04:11 PM

It is never bad to call up an old friend, Now she may be married, became a nun, got a sex change, who knows. But a call can never hurt, it may not bring the result you are hopeing for, but one never knows for sure about any issue in life

s_cianci · Dec 30, 2005, 04:49 PM

It sounds like what you're having is fond memories of a friend and this is perfectly normal. I don't think I'd try contacting her, however. She moved to CA, obviously with other fish to fry. I'm presuming that CA is a considerable distance from where you live. She got on with her life and it's time for you to get on with yours. Keep her in your memory and realize that nothing permanent was meant to be.

bassistguy · Dec 30, 2005, 04:53 PM

Originally Posted by s_cianci

It sounds like what you're having is fond memories of a friend and this is perfectly normal. I don't think I'd try contacting her, however. She moved to CA, obviously with other fish to fry. I'm presuming that CA is a considerable distance from where you live. She got on with her life and it's time for you to get on with yours. Keep her in your memory and realize that nothing permanent was meant to be.

Yeah.. CA is about a 30 hour drive from me (I"m in St. Louis, MO). Another reason she moved there is because she had a baby (in 2002), and she ended up giving him up for adoption. The family that adopted him lives in CA. They told her that she could visit anytime that she wants. She had talked about wanting to move to CA for this reason.

nymphetamine · Dec 30, 2005, 05:06 PM

Wow she said the stalking thing to you. You know someone asked me that once but he was vain and full of himself. Did she seem like jokingly cruel like she was joking but it felt like she really meant it when she said it. Id take that as a hint not to contact her. She may have been trying to tell you something but didn't have the guts to just tell you straight out but then my curious side says contact her and find out so you can know for sure what's happening. She may have been hoping that you would stalk her? Some chicks dig that sort of thing.

bassistguy · Dec 30, 2005, 06:31 PM

She said it in a very jokingly way. There was no cruelness about it. That's crazy if some chicks dig stalkers.. lol. The only thing I'm wanting to do anyway is send her a letter asking how she's doing. If she responds, awesome! If she doesn't, then I'll just leave it at that.

nymphetamine · Dec 30, 2005, 06:33 PM

Sounds like a cool plan to me. Good luck.

bizygurl · Dec 30, 2005, 07:04 PM

I really think you should try and make an attempt to contact her. What's the worst that could happen? She doesn't respond? At least then you know where you stand with her. If you feel that she honestly didn't mean the "stalking" comment in a cruel way, then why not drop her a line? I have a feeling that if you don't, your still going to wonder about her and miss her. Good luck!

manutd4eva · Dec 30, 2005, 07:31 PM

I agree with all these other people try and contact her. I have not contacted someone and regreted it (still do actually) so I would like bizygurl said what's the worst that can happen

bassistguy · Dec 31, 2005, 02:18 AM

Thank you everyone for your advice/help! Really appreaciated :). I am going to contact her. I am hoping I'll at least get a response just letting me know how she's doing... or hoping her parents aren't like "um, I don't know you!".. lol. Her mom liked me a lot, so I hope she remembers me. Thanks again! :)

bizygurl · Dec 31, 2005, 05:35 AM

Good for you, Like I said at least you will know where you stand with her in whatever her response is. Let us know how it goes!;)

manutd4eva · Dec 31, 2005, 06:03 AM

Hope it works out well for you.