[snuffy]

Now then; a week on from being dumped. How has my week gone?

Rather well actually. I had soul searched and pretty much recognised what a person I had become, i.e. not the person I was when we met.

Not one about of crying since I left her house. There was a very quick 180 degree change in attitude on my part. Call it a kick up the arse.

I have accepted that I am very responsible for her not feeling for me anymore, and it all co-incided with a lot of bad thing shappening in my world. Fall out with family which is now finally resolved. Loss of a job, loss of a car, and a general depressing demeanour.

Well, in the last week I have secured a job. And I am awaiting other job offers which I will take if offered. It's nice to be in a position where you have options.

I am getting a new car in the next few weeks. I am back in the gym, and I am very happy with my life and how it is going.

It took a break-up to really shake me up and kick my into gear.

My friends noticed an instant improvement in my attitude, happy amiley, confident and strong. Back to the life and soul of the party. I had become the exact opposite.

So my personal life is back in order and I am really going places. I have spoken to people who know her, and rather than pine about what could have been, I have let it be known that all the above mentioned aspects of my life have improved. They know I am happy and they know I realise and take responsibility for my actions. Being moody depressive and then jealous insecure and possessive are EXACTLY what caused the change in my girlfriend's feeling for me.

My exact thinking is 'ah well you have to learn from this and move on.'

Well I am definitely learning and there is a definite real change in me.

I am not actively seeking to get her back and I am definitely not expecting it. AND EVEN IF it transpires that she want sme back, it will be careful, I will tread very carefully and let it be known that I am improved and attractive again. I do not need to say this. It has to be seen.


So, last night I went to a house party, and guess who turns up? Totally unexpected on my part. For a split second I got a very funny feeling and was awkward.

However, I was self-assured and very cool, very gregarious and was extremely happy and positive all night. Don't think she was expecting it. If anything she was cautious, arms crossed and she looked more affected than I was.

I think I did extremely well.

Also, the host of this house party (a couple) know us both well. The man was saying to me (in private) that she was extremely upset last week, and he said he doesn't think this is over for good. I said well that's nice to hear but I'm not banking on it at all, though I probably would take her back.

I have no tbeen in any contact whatsoever all week with her.


All intriguing stuff.

[snuffy]

Hmm... I went to see a friend tonight (who is also close to the ex gf) and she told me she came over last week and that she was crying her eyes out.

Also he said to her that her dad has said to him that 'she should sort her head out and get back with me' and she replied with 'i know I know' and was apparently sobbing.

Jeez why do women cry after they have dumped you.

Then I hear that on Friday night she mentioned that she has been missing me all week (I have not contacted her at all.)


What on earth does all this mean?

Could she feel she has lost something she really wanted or is she just crying because she hurt me?

I'm bemused.

What do you all think?

[needofhelp]

I am at a lost as well and have given up trying to figure out what's going on in my ex's head. She says one thing about figuring things out and wanting to be on her own, and the next minute she's with another guy. Her words and facial features were convincing enough at the time of what she said, but actions speak louder than words. Only she will know what's really going on. I think it could be both. You and her have lost someone in your lives, and that is hard to overcome. She could also be upset that she hurt you, and didn't want to do that.

Sounds like you handled it very well. Way to go man. Seems like you have the upper hand and have moved on farther than she has.

What I don't understand is why can't people be honest and say how they feel? Do people think that we are not adult enough to accept the truth? It would be much easier to say the truth instead of trying to "let us down gently." Who do they think they are? God's gift to us?

Stay strong and keep it up.

[snuffy]

I had last night finally decided that I will not be pursuing her anymore. After all you can't persuade a girl to want you, you can't make people do things they don't want to.


I am obviously attracted and love her dearly, but what is the point in unrequited love. In my mind I was happy to settle for being friends, and I genuinely mean that.

That is until today. I told her all this, then in the next breath she tells me 'I'm 6 weeks pregnant, found out last week.'


What the hell do I do now?

[Zell]

I had a women say that she was pregnant after we broke up, similar story as well. I got on with my life, joined the gym, made new friends, and was happy. When she found out, she made some crap up about being pregnant, just to mess with me. So you might want to make sure that she actually is and that she's not just playing with you. Lucky I found out that she was just trying to screw with me.
If she is actually pregnant, then your going to have to sit down with her and sort things out.

[kuulski]

Wow that's tough man. My ex got pregnant very early in our relationship she had an abortion completely against my wishes and to be honest for a long time I resented her for it. I think if she is and it is proven that she is then you are going to have to have a very serious and long conversation about your future and what is best. I have 1 child that is 12 years old and I always promised myself I wouldn't have another child until I got married. I did good for 12 years lol then she got pregnant and the first thing I thought was we got to get married. Congrats if its true. If its not true RUN RUN RUN! :>)
Good Luck!

[snuffy]

It's definitely true. Someone else was with her when she did the tests.

I will be seeing her later. It has changed everything. We have to be a family, she cannot go out and look out for her own interests now.

This is real life. I think she wants to keep it. I do. But if she does then we have to be a family. No other choice. There's no better alternative.


If she want sthe child she will have to make a go of things. Our relationship was no bad at all, in fact I proved my love and worth.

She just didn't feel the same for the last 3 weeks. She's been pregnant for 6! It may have been hormones. God knows.

But I wan this to work out as ideally as possible.

[crushedovernover]

Get a test and make sure she is.. then get a paternity test!

[Foxy459459]

Why did she leave you to start with? Because you admitted in the bigining that you were wrong. So if you want to make a go of this don't you think that you need to prove to her that you are willing to change and make it know how much you love her? You can make a go of this just for a baby. It will never work if you do that. Believe me I know from personal experence. Do you self a favor. If you love her and want to be with her then make her know that. You can't be moody depressive and then jealous insecure and possessive. That's what you said drove her away. So its not like she didn't have fair reason to brake it off with you. You can not be like that if you want to be with her or any other girl on that note. Being a girl I know these things we don't like guys that are like that. We want someone that is going to love us for us, trust everything that we do, and not have to hound us on where we are what were doing and who were doing it with. Just know that we are not doing anything wrong, and that we are coming home to the person that we love.

[snuffy]

Why did she leave you to start with? Because you admited in the bigining that you were wrong. So if you want to make a go of this dont you think that you need to prove to her that you are willing to change and make it know how much you love her? You can make a go of this just for a baby. It will never work if you do that. Believe me i know from personal experence. Do you self a favor. If you love her and want to be with her then make her know that. You can't be moody depressive and then jealous insecure and possessive. Thats what you said drove her away. So its not like she didnt have fair reason to brake it off with you. You can not be like that if you want to be with her or any other girl on that note. Being a girl i know these things we dont like guys that are like that. We want someone that is going to love us for us, trust everything that we do, and not have to hound us on where we are what were doing and who were doing it with. Just know that we are not doing anything wrong, and that we are coming home to the person that we love.

Well, I don't follow you, to be fair..

These insecurities I apologised for but it was seemingly too late. However my suspicions I'm afraid were based on her cheating on me in July an dnever showing remorse, then acting like she could have her ex boyfriend round at 2am on a given night and not consider that it may be odd or may hurt my feelings.

I'm well clear of this girl, well I thought I was,

This whole pregnancy thing. I spoke to her tonight and said we should go to the doctors and get it confirmed 100% or we could be worrying about nothing. She refused. Big red flag.

I said I missed her and she knows in our relationship I loved her trusted her and was a great man to her. ALl the time she walked all over me and treated me like an idiot.

She has zero feelings for me.

I asked today to be friends. She says yeah, then this crap.

I said its her body I will respect her choice but mentioned that it would be highly preferable to be in a solid family relationship and hinted we could make a go of it. She faltly refused and thinks this would be a cake walk. IS she mad?

Why on earth would she want thi sbaby if she doesn't want me around.

A lot does not add up. It has even been suggested to me that she is making the whole episode up. Why will she not go to the doctor to confirm?

Red flags galore. This girl is a horrible person, believe me. Horrible manipulative and just downright nasty. It has taken me a long time to recognise this.

Her actions, what she says. All incongrous. I have been almost the perfect man. Never hurt her. She's hurt me countless times and I forgave.

I got walked over and crushed. Well it's time the chickens come home to roost. She did not appreciate me or respect me, and still does not.

Eithe rthat or she is just very stupid immature and deluded.

I am training to be a lawyer and I vow to make this work. All I get is a brick wall of defiance. I will work my of to get that kid a life he deserves and build a famly.

Why would I want her to have a kid that I saw merely once a month and sent apay check too.

This just does not all add up.

[friend4u178]

Hi Snuffy
You say she cheated on you in July... so is it possible that she has cheated again at some point and this Baby is not yours? Just a thought!

[Applejacks83irv]

Hey man before you sign any papers or be this father you might want to check and see if its yours frist and go from there?:cool:

[Foxy459459]

My apologise you never said that she cheated on you, and that's why you were acting crazy and what not. Now it kind of adds up? If she cheated on you once don't you think she did it again? Do you think the baby is 100% yours? And maybe that's why she doesn't want you to have anything to do with that whoel situation? I think you need to sit back and re think the whole situation. Because there are A lot of RED FLAGS... Good luck to you!

[snuffy]

My apologise you never said that she cheated on you, and thats why you were acting crazy and what not. Now it kinda adds up? If she cheated on you once dont you think she did it again? Do you think the baby is 100% yours? and maybe thats why she doesnt want you to have anything to do with that whoel situation? I think you need to sit back and re think the whole situation. Because there are ALOT of RED FLAGS.... Good luck to you!

I have thought about this but not put it to her.

She won't let me come to the doctors.

Her parents know now, and everyone does.

She has not said to me that she has been sleeping around. Though why would she!

I will need to see the due date but even then it may still be mine.

I don't understand why she is totally against us being ogether again, unless she has met someone else. Or her ex before me.

[Applejacks83irv]

Hey dumb sh@#t this baby may not be your! But you have an ACE's in your hand her family knows now about your problem now so you have 2 way you can look at this you can leave her and what for the baby to be born but be ready for some law action type stuff or talk to her mom one on one with out your GF finding out? And tell her what the hell is really going on! And sorry for calling you dumb sh@#t but love make you think in blind

[snuffy]

I am going absolutely crazy about this situation.

I have responded with intense and extreme anger at her for the way she is dealing with me right now. I am biting.

I find out tonight that she cheated on me (was at least kissing) a guy one night 6 weeks ago, which would be the day after we last had sex, out in a bar in town. Sh ehasn't confessed to this, and people who were out saw her and have all told me.

I sent a text telling her its about time she came clean abou things she is lying about, and still she denies it all.

I have unleashed wild wrath at her, she continues to lie and make out that I am trying to tarnish her reputation. She has done that herself.

I fu**ing adored this girl the time I was with her and it seem si was walked over time and time again, and now this horrible despicable woman might be carrying and raising my child.

I HATE this totally. She is wicked and evil.

Being this angry may really backfire bu I have go tto let he rknow exactly what I think to her lying to me and to being hostile toward me.