[brashj54]

I am 53, I am diabled, but I have no car, false teeth that need repacing and my family will not help enough, and I am not blaming them, to help me get either, I have become Completely ISOLATED. I am dependent on the family that will help, though they make it clear they help begrudgingly, they never call I sit 24/7 alone in my little apartment with no one to talk to. I am depressed severely, and MY FAMILY HAS TOLD ME TO SHUT UP ABOUT MY DEPRSSION AND SITUATION. I have stopped all fluid in take and food, I am ready to die, You are strangers, but I need your advice so much. I love The Lord,and don't want to meet Him this way. That is if He will accept me if I do this. I don't know what else to do. I have, believe me, the resolve to carry it through, and no one ever checks on me so I have opportunity to do it, but it breaks my heart, what if Jesus won't except me because I took my life by not eating or drinking. I am so lost guys. I have prayed to Him for over a year to help me change my situation, and He hasn't I don't have time to explain, but there is nothing I can do to change it and the lonliness is unbearable. Please give me adviseASAP. Thank you.

[familylove]

Continue to pray. Prayers are not always answered when you want them to be answered. There is a time for everying and God knows that you do not want to take your life because you would have done it by now. There is a reason why you reached out and that is so that people such as myself can try to answer your prayers and be of some comfort. Answers come in many different ways and this could be your forum.

You are still alive and have access to be able to reach out so your health can not be that bad. I am 36 yrs old and have issues as many Americans do. I have work that needs to be done on my teeth and I'm about 50 lbs overweight but you know what, I can change my situation if I really want to so there is no need for me to get depressed about it. On top of that, I work full time, work a supplement job and am married with three children so life is not easy for me but I thank GOD that I am well enough to do all of the above things.

I know there are agencies that will be more than happy to assist you. There may be a dentist in your area that does promo work and can take your case on for free. While you are sitting around, make phone calls and send heartfelt e mails out to doctors for assistance, especially if your family is not willing to help.

"THIS TOO SHALL PASS"

[maddie10]

As familylove has said continue to pray. I would also advice you to see your gp. To help you through this sad time in your life. Be positive and all will be well. When you feel like you have no one to talk to. We are here. I'm sure like me many people will speak to you and advice you. Good luck.

[KBC]

Hi Brashj54,]

I can really relate to your plight,to say the least!

The last 12 months for me started with a death,and that began a very long depression,one that is still lingering with me still.

The isolation,self-loathing,feelings of worthlessness,desperation,and The Biggie,the willingness to die.(A favorite of mine while depressed),While today I am medicated well enough,and seek help (when I am not keeping so busy as to not remember the pains)and I do have support,support is there if you go looking(I Know the depression makes it so you don't want to look,what's the point,right? It'll just be like last time you looked for help,the end will be the same,right?)

THATS THE DEPRESSION TALKING,NOT THE REAL YOU!!!

Am I making any sense yet?

If I am,lets talk a little more in here,I am on a lot,so are others with real good experiences and intel. That WILL HELP.

Heck,I will do what I can(from here).

You do not need to feel so all alone,this is a good place to vent and look in the right direction.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Ken

[brashj54]

Dear familylove, thank you for answering, for the advice and so much for your kindness. It is GREATLY appreciated. I am trying so hard to trust and believe. I know God love me. It is hard right now to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I thank God for people like yourself, who show compassion, and actually concern. I do want to run the race and finish it like Paul talked about. My situation just looks impossible. Remember me in your prayers. Thank you. Brashj

[brashj54]

Dear KBC, Thank you for you advice and concern, and yes, you are making sense. Than you for your offer to talk, I do need that, I am still struggling, but I am trying to seek God, and believe and hod onto His promises. I have mood swings, my emotions change from moment to moment. I posted on Spirituality also most of them were so kind, one no so much. But you have to be here to understand the helplessnes that is always there. I am trying. Thanks for your kindness. Brashj54

[KBC]

Dear KBC, Thank you for you advice and concern, and yes, you are making sense. Thank you for your offer to talk, I do need that, I am still struggling, but I am trying to seek God, and believe and hold onto His promises. I have mood swings, my emotions change from moment to moment. I posted on Spirituality also most of them were so kind, one no so much. But you have to be here to understand the helplessness that is always there. I am trying. Thanks for your kindness. Brashj54

With more posts in this thread,you can enlighten us about 'being here',the depression makes it seem like no one else can relate to your plight,this is absolutely NOT true,it is a warped sense of deception brought on by too much self loathing.
Please write more in here,let some of those feelings out.

God,in my recovery,has answered my prayers,ON HIS TERMS,AS HE SEES FIT,not my terms,meaning;I need to do for me(free will)what he has given me the chance to do.

Footprints In The Sand also state that he will carry me if I need it,or walk with me on my way.
Footprints in the Sand

You are never alone with your faith,but faith without works is in need of further scrutiny,god can do for you,but we have to be willing to do for ourselves as well.

I hope this also makes sense to you,keep the faith,

Ken

[brashj54]

Dear KBC, Thanks for making your point more clear, Something I think I am trying to make clear is there are people who are depressed, but without self loathing this is a term that is thrown about because people have heard it, read it, I don't loath myself, and many people suffering depression don't. That is one of those statements that puts people in a box. I loath my situation. And, well first I am going to remove the post, not that I don't appreciate the extreme concern and kindness I do. I have started eating , I wish I could say I no longer consider taking my life I do. People for what ever reason seem to find it impossible to think a person could get in a position in which there is NOTHING they can do to change it. I have no money to get out of the position I am in, which is I have no car, no way to get one, I have health problems that make walking out of the question. I am stuck in my apartment with no way to reach out to anyone. I have crippling arthritis, Poly Neuropathy, constant small heart attacks,and small strokes. Everyday I wake up and there is a little more of my body I can't feel, as in has become numb. And I have lupus, with has a great variety of side effects, and I have circumstantial depression, as well as chronic depression. All of which makes me totally dependent. If I need something from the store I can't just jump in the car and go get it, I have no car, no way to get one, I can't get myself to my Dr. or pharmacy. I have no support group and no way to develop one. I am in a prison that needs no bars or walls, I can't escape. My quality of life is zip.
I have no way to change anything, it goes against what people wan to believe, but sometimes it happens. I am praying, and have been, so far God has not changed anything. But I still trust him. May be I just don't have enough faith. I keep looking for opportunity, and hope and pray God does send it. But I suffer chronic pain and the pain is wearing me down. I am trying to keep the faith, thanks for your input, and kindness.

[N0help4u]

I understand how you can fall into a depression to the point that you can not think clearly, otherwise I doubt there would be as much suicide. You have to pull yourself out of it. Set goals for yourself no matter how small they are. Have SOMETHING to look forward to!
What do you accomplish by not eating? Ending up in the hospital so you get others attention.
Then you get well and they forget about you again.
You say you have no way of getting yourself any where. Who gets you to the doctors or does your shopping?
Maybe they can help you try and find some feeling or sense of wanting to live. I don't know how much you are capable of to give suggestions on that though.
This could be a goal for you to start with
Study about your health and how you might fight your illness

herbs for lupus - Google Search

natural cures for lupus - Google Search


Not saying these will cure you but they maybe might improve the quality of your life enough that you have some hope.
Its worth a try, what have you got to lose?
I told my dad what to take to put his cancer in remission and he chose to ignore me and he died.

[J_9]

I don't know where you live, but I would like to suggest contacting NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness-The Nation's Voice on Mental Illness-Formerly National Alliance for the Mentally Ill

They have help there for people in your condition. People that will travel to your home, help with shopping, maybe even living arrangements if necessary.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel of depression, but you have to be willing to reach for it.

[petarstankov]

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