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    Marily's Avatar
    Marily Posts: 457, Reputation: 51
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    #1

    Sep 5, 2007, 12:10 PM
    This woman at church
    I met someone at church, at first she was nice but now she is trying to rule me, for instance if she ask me to do something and I decline, she call me boring or old fashion, she is trying to convince me that I should have more kids where as she only have 1 child, she doesn't like it if I don't want to join her with whatever she is busy with , she wants to correct me on whatsoever but she herself also have a lot of mistakes and tries to make excuses when I bring it up. I honestly need to get her of my chest. My husband and her husband is good friends so they visit regulary. How can I sort her out without being rude, yet very firm
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #2

    Sep 5, 2007, 12:37 PM
    She seems very dramatic, and gives people headache.
    I will ignore her, it doesn't mean you be soft, sometimes, silence can be a weapon.
    You are a good person I can tell, but don't put up with her crap.:)
    Marily's Avatar
    Marily Posts: 457, Reputation: 51
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    #3

    Sep 5, 2007, 12:45 PM
    I do ignore her a lot but sometimes I think I should straighten her out once and for all
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #4

    Sep 5, 2007, 12:49 PM
    Just sit her down over tea (or whatever you like) and tell her that you have a problem with how she treats you. She does not own you so she has no right to be this way. Ignoring people can work but after a while of letting this go on you could get enough of it and snap on her.

    You will have more kids when you are ready.
    If she wants to correct you on your mistakes, tell her that she needs to accept criticism as well.
    If you don't want to join her in whatever she wants you to do, you are busy and that's that.

    You don't have to be mean, you can usually get your point across being nice and civil. :)
    Marily's Avatar
    Marily Posts: 457, Reputation: 51
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    #5

    Sep 5, 2007, 12:57 PM
    I will talk to her, hopefully she will change.
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #6

    Sep 5, 2007, 12:58 PM
    I hope she will change for your sake too, because I know I would definitely snap if I had to go through that all of the time.
    dreamangel226's Avatar
    dreamangel226 Posts: 22, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Sep 5, 2007, 01:10 PM
    Try being straight with her. Let her know that her comments are unwanted and unappreciated and that you don't need her unsolicited advice. Also tell her that her behavior is unbecoming and if it continues, than the two of you cannot be friends. Tell your husband also, so that if he's getting together with her husband, he will be sure of your feelings and won't ask you to participate. If she has a problem with the way that you feel than that's her problem, not yours.
    Marily's Avatar
    Marily Posts: 457, Reputation: 51
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    #8

    Sep 5, 2007, 01:11 PM
    Its hard to keep calm sometimes but the key is not to let your emotions control you.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #9

    Sep 5, 2007, 01:32 PM
    You can try to say to her, nicely, "Thank you for all your advice Susie, but it's really not necessary. I know you mean well, but I am a grown woman and very capable of making my own decisions."

    Short, sweet, and simple.

    When she tries again to give you unsolicited advice just say to her "I think we have already discussed this Susie."

    It should work and there should be no hard feelings toward anyone.
    Marily's Avatar
    Marily Posts: 457, Reputation: 51
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    #10

    Sep 5, 2007, 11:29 PM
    Thanks J_9 that was short, sweet and straight to the point, just what I needed, I will let you guys know what she said.

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