[firmbeliever]

Is it just my outlook on society in general or are people becoming more superficial?

For instance,
-many youngsters judge their peers on looks/ the outside appearance of a person more than their character.
-Teenagers going into depression because they are not as beautiful as their friends, or because the boys are not after them asking for dates.
-So much emphasis is being put on being accepted for beauty/sexiness etc, that young girls idolise women who look perfectly made up(even if they are cut and sliced and parts are stitched together:eek: ).
-And the new fad of skin lightening is becoming so wide spread (I understand the need to look beautiful.. we all do ), but is it getting out of hand?
-I understand teenagers are young and they need to find their niche in this chaotic world, but will the choices they make now still be a part of them as they grow up,will they outgrow it?
-By the time many teenagers turn 18, they have coloured their hair so much it turns brittle and weak (is it the hair colour's chemicals doing it?).
-Some teenagers have flawless skin,yet they pile on make up which in turn (I cannot specifically what really happens) spoils their skin and makes them look ages older than their sweet pretty selves.


Are we as parents influencing the choices our teens make or is it coming from outside sources that our children depend on?Mine is only 2, I have a long way to go... but I see other teens and I wonder...

All opinions welcome,
Just like to know that I am not the only one thinking such things... :rolleyes:
Thanks all:)

[swirlgirl]

No it is true all you say... it is sad... the younger generations now are not only superficial but are not as polite, empathic, understanding and helpful as generations past. I know of course that there are wonderful youths... but I notice that younger people whom work with the public... may not even say a word to you as they check your purchases if they are a cashier... no smile, no hello, how are you, thank you, have a nice day (some older ones are like this too of course! ) They tend to be lazier also... ask a question and it is ONLY "I don't know" , not "I don't know, but I will find out for you!" Or the "That is what the computer, or cash register says"... when your charged a wrong price! Well young fella or gal, it is wrong!

Just yesterday... at a local grocery store it was Sr. day... 5% off for over 55... as an older woman was leaving the store with her husband, I saw her looking at her receipt... I asked her if she got her discount? She said "NO", the young man was only concerned that he had 29 more minutes until he was off work! She got over $5.00 back and thanked me. He did not even mention to the woman about her discount and besides it is very rude of him to say that in ear shot of customers! Think it to yourself, but your on the clock and have a job to do!

I have dozens of experiences...

[firmbeliever]

Thank you for sharing and
Here I was thinking it was my overworked mind...

[cal823]

I'm 15, 16 tomorrow, and I don't really care tooo much about looks, though I do admit... one of the things ireally want to do, is colour my hair blue, and grow it long and curly
But my school doesn't allow it

And some are getting mor superficial, but a lot of us are quite well adjusted, deep, decent people who do not judge by looks.

[firmbeliever]

Good to know you Cal, keep up with your lovely attitude.
I wish we had more of your type.. :)

[swirlgirl]

im 15, 16 tomorrow, and i dont rlly care tooo much about looks, tho i do admit....one of the things ireally wanna do, is colour my hair blue, and grow it long and curly
but my school doesnt allow it

and some are getting mor superficial, but alot of us are quite well adjusted, deep, decent people who do not judge by looks.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D

[Marily]

Firmbeliever I know you don' t believe in the bible but let me just quote that in the last days people will become like this, and it is no surprise to me only prophesy being fullfil

[firmbeliever]

Firmbeliever i know you don' t believe in the bible but let me just quote that in the last days people will become like this, and it is no suprise to me only prophesy being fullfil

Hi Marily,
Thanks for your thoughts...
I may not know the Bible but I do believe in the Quran and the Hadith of our Prophet (peace be upon Him)... we are also warned that there will be such things increasing,also earthquakes,increase in consumption of alcohol etc before the appearance of Dajjal/anti-Christ. I also believe in Jesus Christs (peace be upon him) returning and establishing justice of the Almighty.
I believe in these things happening but I would rather be aware and prepared to help my children become better adults even if the whole world is in chaos.

[CaptainRich]

im 15, 16 tomorrow, and i dont rlly care tooo much about looks, tho i do admit....one of the things ireally wanna do, is colour my hair blue, and grow it long and curly
but my school doesnt allow it

and some are getting mor superficial, but alot of us are quite well adjusted, deep, decent people who do not judge by looks.

I'm not one to judge others as some need to be judged but you want to change your hair color and be perceived, not judged? for your hair color. That just seems contradictory to me. Not that I have any problem with someone wanting to stand out and be different, but you must acknowledge, some will judge you based on your choice of hair color without getting to know the real you, because that's the first thing they'll see.

[templelane]

Personally I don't think people are become shallower I think they always have been. I think a lot of people look on the past with rose tinted specks glamorising it and remembering only the good times.

I wish I could find this quote form an artist (that I cannot remember) which was basically a rant about how obnoxious the 'youth of today' were and how they didn't respect their elders etc. It was hilarious straight out of any tabloid today.

I don't think it has anything to do with today's society but just humane nature and the nature of youth were they struggle to find their place and comfort and acceptance with themselves and others. This may manifest itself differently in different cultures and times but I think the undercurrent is the same.

As for your two year old just try and give them the inner confidence to not be swayed too much by others or feel the need to change themselves.

That's my random two pennies anyway.

[Fr_Chuck]

I for one don't mind the kids with blue or red or orange hair ( no orange hair was the old lady across the street whose dye job went bad)

But we have had kids in church with nose, lip and who knows what type of rings and spike hair, and red hair, and blue hair and strip hair.
Ok a few I may giggle at,

But we all had our fads, for us in the 60s, it was pasley and peace signs and bell bottoms ( now those were some jeans)
Who remembers leasure suits, and my almost neon blue tux for the prom.

I am sure we were just as outragous as we think kids are today.

[MOWERMAN2468]

And we have to ask , Why are they (the school systems) going to Dress Codes. I will tell you why, because there are more, and I will use this term loosely, Parents out there not raising their children than there are PARENTS that are RAISING their kids.

[CaptainRich]

I am sure we were just as outragous as we think kids are today.

There's far cry from wearing bell bottoms, which are in vogue now, to something your can't change on a whim. Some of which is piercings and tattooing. When someone has tattoo's from their wrists to their shoulder blades, or infected piercings in both eyebrows and both lips, they are crying for attention of the "now generation."

Before I go too far, I want to point out, I'm not here to argue or even disagree, but how can you make these kind of statements today and think that tomorrow, or next week, or next year, you're going to make that fit in anywhere that now considers it unacceptable?

Is there a "need" for such displays?

Possibly. I don't want to walk into my bank or drugstore and be greeted by goth-o-mania. I don't want you serving me food or even making change. But that's my personal choice, too. As someone with discretionary spending can choose!

The whole concept of what makes a statement will, if your emblazoned with your own screaming personality, can, and will, limit your opportunities, IN THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE!

I can change my t-shirt or my hat, even my hair style. But I know a guy, he's incredibly intelligent, well read and articulate. Even honest and funny. But today, even he admits, if he had it to do over again, he'd have never gotten even a single tattoo. He's relinquished himself to what a larger society has allowed. And I can't change that for him, either.

[firmbeliever]

Personally I don't think people are become shallower I think they always have been. I think a lot of people look on the past with rose tinted specks glamorising it and remembering only the good times.

I wish I could find this quote form an artist (that I cannot remember) which was basically a rant about how obnoxious the 'youth of today' were and how they didn't respect their elders ect. It was hilarious straight out of any tabloid today.

I don't think it has anything to do with today's society but just humane nature and the nature of youth were they struggle to find their place and comfort and acceptance with themselves and others. This may manifest itself differently in different cultures and times but I think the undercurrent is the same.

As for your two year old just try and give them the inner confidence to not be swayed too much by others or feel the need to change themselves.

That's my random two pennies anyway.

Hey Templelane,

You are right,every era has their rebels..
But I, when growing up belonged in the group where elders were respected, being humane is a good quality, being at peace with oneself and others was important...
So when I see those qualities rarely these days,it makes me want to do something to change it.

Thank you for your advise.:)

[chris_in_orbit]

None of you can really blame it on the children, in fact you should be blaming it on yourselves. By not raising your children correctly, they in turn did not raise their children correctly, and so the problem only manifests itself. Kind of disgusting that most of you are putting the stink eye on the youth.

More importantly though generations all have their good and bad. The hippy 60's was all about peace and love, but funny that you forgot to mention it was the age of lots and lots of drugs man. And maybe not everyone did it, but just like right now, every single child gets lumped summed with the rest of them. Trust me when I say there are still plenty of good kids out there. It may not be a majority but they are still there, take the time to notice it next time won't you?

[xfsketch]

Hi firm believer,

I have often wondered the same things that you are wondering now. I think society has a lot to do with it. For instance, I am a graphic designer and have been educated in advertising for years plus experience in the real world. Our youth and us to are constantly bombarded with commercials, magazines, movies, billboards & radio advertisements that tell us attractive is good and anything else is bad. I think pornography has a lot to do with it also. Many youths have access to the internet and not all families block internet content on their machines. So when youngsters are interested in sex and surfing the net on these sites it creates a superficial mind In my opinion if you are brought up pleasuring yourself to very attractive women/men then when it comes time to find a mate anything else seems second best. What I am saying is that if a kid sees that grown ups are all about sex and looks like in advertisements and internet etc. then they look around them and see how un-attractive people make out in the scenario they tend to think that being attractive is the most important part of a healthy sexual relationship. Its hard to explain exactly what I mean. I know that I myself want an attractive woman because Ive dated women I am not that attracted to and hurt them when I lacked in interest. Everyone has a different level of what they would call attractive I know. Pornography just warps my brain into thinking man... wish I could hook up with a woman like that!! She looks way better then the girls who I hook up with. Guys are paying out the cash everyday trying for women who know they are attractive at bars etc. Women who know they've got that beauty are usually superficial & self centered from what Ive found anyway. Men too.. might as well say attractive people in general have it easier growing up. People let them get by on looks alone damn near! Im sure you've heard of the halo effect? Every pretty girl I bring home is a big hit in my family, girls that aren't so attractive I hear "oh you can do better then that!" All people seem to like you more when your mate is smokin hot. Its sad but true. I wish I could follow my mothers advice (deceased now) she used to tell me "marry a fat woman...at least you will never go hungry" I used to think it was about food but now I know what she meant. I know friends with attractive mates and almost all of them are high maintennce. The more attractive the more drama, and more people who try to take them from you. Well doubt any of this really made any sense lol but I hope our future will see things more for what they are instead of fantasy dreams of altering each imperfection until we all look the same. Cya

[Nataliecb]

Hey
Im 19 and I think that making yourself look good makes you feel good and there is nothing wrong with that, it's just about taking pride in your appearance.
When it comes to celebrities having plastic surgery etc then yes I agree for teens to idolise and copy this is sad, but if it really makes that person more happy or confident to change their body or appearance then I don't think it should matter.

It's easy to point the finger at the media, but it's true that now more than ever teen are bombarded with images of ridiculously thin models and celebs that have unachievably flawless (airbrushed) skin/figures in magazines.
Personally I feel that a good personality and sense of humour is the more attractive and valuable than any amount of makeup or designer clothes! :)

[cal823]

A smile is the best kind of makeup you can put on.
I reckon that the happier you are the better you look.

[firmbeliever]

None of you can really blame it on the children, in fact you should be blaming it on yourselves. By not raising your children correctly, they in turn did not raise their children correctly, and so the problem only manifests itself. Kind of disgusting that most of you are putting the stink eye on the youth.

More importantly though generations all have their good and bad. The hippy 60's was all about peace and love, but funny that you forgot to mention it was the age of lots and lots of drugs man. And maybe not everyone did it, but just like right now, every single child gets lumped summed with the rest of them. Trust me when i say there are still plenty of good kids out there. It may not be a majority but they are still there, take the time to notice it next time won't you?

Hey Chris,
I am not generalising and I know good kids too.
And you cannot say we have to blame ourselves totally, I have seen very good parents lose their children to the peers who have a very strong influence on them.

When people are good we just accept them as they are good of the whole society, but it is those who get into drugs etc we should worry about.We must try to get them back to a balanced lifestyle.

Now that you mention the Hippie generation, didn't you know that eras fashion and trends are IN now,that is the one reason the whole lifestyle of many teens have become like the Hippies trends.

And xfsketch,
Thanks for your opinion.
I agree with you that pornography and bad advertising works against the very moral of our kids.
On one side they advertise all the junk food and on the other they show the (made up)perfect people and the kids are on a guilt trip all the time.
Some parents even criticize kids if they do not look a certain way and that is so sad.When parents should be the ones giving them confidence, the kids are made to feel bad/stupid/ugly.

It is all about being beautiful and kids are made to feel inadequate if they are not a certain size or figure(especially girls,but boys are also catching up).
They need assurance that they are good as they are, it is the inside of a person and a healthy body that matters.
Another thing they tend to forget is youth and beauty only lasts so long,the human body will age as time passes,but it is the spirit and character of a person that stays through thick and thin.

Hi Natalie,
Thanks for your thoughts,
I agree with wanting to be beautiful just for our own satisfaction, but in my opinion most kids are not dressing up to feel good, but to attract the opposite sex, and they don't even realise the trouble ahead.

Good personality is better anytime than a perfect body or made up face.

[swirlgirl]

Another thing they tend to forget is youth and beauty only lasts so long,the human body will age as time passes,but it is the spirit and character of a person that stays through thick and thin.


So true Firmbeliever: In my youth I had a size 6-10 dress size, had an adorable figure. Beautiful face, flawless skin. I even did some modeling... had guys stop me on the street or try to follow me home if in a car... I was beautiful... but oh so immature... but I did not have the life experiences, maturity that I do now at 54. I am no longer a size 6-10 dress size, with the adorable figure...

But I have the heart I always have... now ever even oh so more... bigger... I stop to smell the flowers, even some weeds, ha! I have a spiritual core and see the "big picture" and see people from "the inside out"... the movie "Shallow Hal" everyone should see, if you have never seen it, I recommend it... shows how so called fat, ugly, undesirable people... can be the most beautiful of all, IF their heart is right. ;)