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benball · Jul 14, 2007, 08:53 PM

I used to think I new what I wanted in life but now Im not so sure. Im 31 and I feel lost. I can't stop thinking that my problems are a result of my parents bad decisions and divorce.
When I lived with my mom she tried hard to be there for us but it wasn't enough. I tried living with my dad but ended up dissapointed at who he was. It got to the point that I lost respect for him and we've barely talked to each other going on 10 years now. I thought I could become a better person than my parents were and Ive tried but I feel a failure. I thought marriage would fix everything but after 2 1/2 years with my wife I don't know if I can stay married myself. Aside from marriage I just don't like who Ive become. Im not a bad person, every one that knows me thinks highly of me, I like to make friends and be supportive of other people. Ill do anything to lend a hand to someone that needs it. I even try hard to live right, i.e.. Not doing things I should not do. So why do I feel such a failure? When I get in social situations I don't have anything to say, no stories to tell, no happy moments to share. This seems to bug me the most because when Im around family memebers I duck out every time because I don't have anything to say anyway. I really want to say anything and joint in on conversations but its almost like I cant. I can't do it. What's happened to me? I feel all alone. I need a parent to turn to but I can't turn to my wife's, and mine are even worse. I need a dad to give me advise and help but where do I find it now?

XenoSapien · Jul 15, 2007, 04:35 AM

Grandparents?

XenoSapien

ordinaryguy · Jul 15, 2007, 05:28 AM

I've never heard of a family that wasn't disappointing in some way to at least some of its members. Of course, some are worse than others, but none are perfect. You are not your parents, and you are not your family history. Figuring out who you are is hard work, and at 31 you're right at the point in life where it has to be done. Take heart and get on with it. It will get better. Five years from now you will be thankful for the decisions you're making now.

startover22 · Jul 17, 2007, 06:54 PM

I agree with ordinaryguy...

Letting your past lead you is not the best thing to do. Knowing what you want in your future is better, you have goals to set for yourself and it will help when you start checking off the list. It wouldn't be weird to have some place to write these feelings down either. Hugs to you...

firmbeliever · Jul 18, 2007, 04:23 PM

I think you have lost yourself in the midst of all your work for others, you have forgotten your own soul and been neglecting your own self.

Maybe you are feeling lost because you have no purpose in life, no family to depend on,no marriage partner to count on...
Maybe you just need time out from the crowds and spend a little time by yourself soul searching.
Find out where you wish to go from now... the past is already gone and you can't change who your family is they are yours no matter how bad/good.
Go for walks in a natural surrounding and be by yourself,think deeply, find your inner voice and find a direction to where you wish to go foreword.
Do you need a career change?Or a wardrobe change?Or a religious change?Or a change of residential area?Or a job change?

By yourself ponder these questions, if need be research online for what you need and make a choice to change what you need to change to bring back your life as you want it to be..

Take care

firmbeliever · Jul 27, 2007, 12:29 PM

Re "Kattalover agrees: Thank you for these words! They could have been meant for me!"

Glad to have caught your attention, maybe now you will be able to work on finding your path to Peace...
Peace of the Soul (which is the best thing that could happen as this would put your whole life into the right perspective! :) :) )