[hollyjaner]

Hello, I am a Server-cocktail waitress in virginia. I have worked at a restaurant for 2 years, never a blemish on my record. I don't really know what I'm asking, only that this must be wrong, and there must be something I can do.

Said restaurant is in the middle of selling to new owners. The papers were going to go through on the 9th and the partial new owner (current general manager) told me that we were doing evaluations and that everybody was being watched as of the 9th, and that he was planning on letting go of a few people after he finished evaluations. He said this to me on the first.

On the 9th, I was working with a specific assistant manager and 2 other waitpersons. The manager flagrantly ignored rules and regulations and set up a beer-pong table and the 2 other servers and he commenced to play (with water, not beer) for about three hours. This means that I had to take care of all the customers (most of whom tipped, though since I was taking care of other servers tables, I did not get those tips)in those hours. Very frustrating, since I had to keep in mind I was being evaluated and any customer that is unhappy it's my fault, to the person evavaluating me from afar, since I was the only server in sight... I told the manager it was inexcusable and that was all that was said. I did not want to make trouble so I did not say anything to the general manager who was out of the restaurant at the time.

The next day, I called my very good friend, another server at the restaurant who also happens to be the assistant managers ex girlfriend, and spoke at length about how frustrating the previous shift was and how if my manager is the one at fault, it is impossibe to complain and have anything happen to rectify the situation, as is normal procedure. I left out anything personal because of the relationship they had had.

Though I do not have factual knowledge of this part of the story I will relay it because it seems important.

My friend called or texted said assistant manger and they fought. Somehow drinking on the job was mentioned as something this manager does. I have no idea if that is true or false. He might have been under the impression that I had said he was drinking on the job, because of the texts I later got.

(back to what I do know)
About an hour after my conversation with the friend I got a text from the . Manager, saying "this message is to all employees: anyone found gossiping about my personal life, you will be delt with". I did not respond. 5 minutes later, I got another text from one of the waitresses involved in the water pong game saying"did you tell (waitress friend of mine) that we were drinking on the job?" I replied "no, only that i had said "I was angry with everybody screwing around when we were supposed to be having evaluations" meaning i had to pick up the slack or my job may suffer.

5 min later i get another text from the manager saying "stay the out of my life". i responded with "Im not gossiping about you. I just told (waitress) that you were screwing off on the job, we already talked about this call me if you want to solve this mis understanding" instantly received another message that said " you. Stay out of my life. Off" so i replied with "Im not in your personal life and said nothing that would place me in it. So you off, you texted me." so than the waitress playing pong (roommates with the assistant manager) must have relayed what i said to her, about evaluations because i got a message saying "if I hear you lying about evaluations, which is not true, I will suspend and fire you. You are on probation" I was furious and did not reply. Than the pong waitress texted me and told me the papers were not through yet.

Now, apparently the paper work did not go through on the 9th as planned, so I need not have worried about the evaluation, but since the manager had not called and told me the papers were not through, I still only had what he said before to go on.

I don't feel as if I am in any way in the wrong about this situation, and that he would repeatedly text me threatening my job over his own personal issues seems like a gross abuse of power. In the waitressing world, there is a lot of gossip and inter-mingling, but I try to stay as far from it as possible. I am really disappointed that this has happened.

[Lowtax4eva]

Although it was him at fault I wouldn't have talked about it to his ex, she probably felt she was helping by cursing him out for his behaviour but it was to be expected.

You might be able to go after him for creating a hostile work environment but it's so hard to prove cause it's all just texts and they were sent outside work. If he fired you you could go after him for wrongful termination but he didn't. It's really up to you. Don't bring up problems with this manager to his ex again though.

[Emland]

Does this manager have a superior?

[jillianleab]

You're in VA, you can be fired for any reason or no reason, as long as it's not on the basis of age, sex, color, race, national origin or religion.

What this manager has done is not ethical, but you don't have a legal case. The best thing you can do is report the manager to his superior. That, or move on to a new job.

[Tootruetooblue]

You are fortnate in that you work as a waitress, and there are a great many other places you can work. I recommend you change jobs. You do not want to work for a business owner who swears at you and twists the facts, and if the game you described is any indication of his work ethic, the place is not going to be profitable once he takes over. Don't give any particular reason for leaving, just say "thanks for the opportunity, I'm going to try something new" and leave it pleasant. YOu may want to use them as a reference in the future.

[ScottGem]

You made the mistake of talking behind someone's back. That will almost always get you in trouble. Though you had a valid complaint that doesn't matter. If you want to continue working at that restaurant, then zip your lip and act more professionally.

[hollyjaner]

I guess I was not clear. The manager in question (playing games) is an assistant manager and has no power to do any of the things he was threatening, put someone on probation, or fire anybody. Also, I told the manager that what he was doing was not OK as he was doing it, so this could not qualify as talking behind their back, since they already knew, and I am well within my rights to talk about my day at work to anybody I choose. At any rate, the problem is over, since the . Manager, using questionable judgement, sent the text messages to everybody, including his higher-ups and was promptly fired, probably before I wrote the original question. Thanks though, everybody!!

[ScottGem]

Of course you have the right to talk about your day at work to anyone you choose. But that doesn't mean there may not be consequences in doing so.

What I meant by talking behind someone's back was that you talked about them to other people without their knowledge and permission. Again, you had the right to do so, but just because you can do something doesn't mean you should nor does it mean there may not be consequences. It doesn't matter that you also spoke to the manager about the inappropriate behavior, though that was the right thing to do.

I'm not saying you did anything inherently wrong, but I am saying you acted unprofessionally. That the AM was fired for his actions just shows that all you needed to do was report it to management and wait for them to take action before complaining to others.