[Frank Jones]

Hi,
Please help. Not sure what to do anymore. My step son is 18 years old. He is very fragile, immature and very depressed. He ran away between the ages of 16 and 17 to live with his real dad but that did not work out. (His dad has abuse issues with alcohol) He came back home 14 months ago but the situation is very sensitive and his depression takes a front seat almost every day. Presently he is in-between jobs and hangs around the house all day while we are at work. Over the past 12 months he has continued to take things on us. Included in the list is: continuously take money from my dresser or brief case, an Air Conditioner, his sisters bicycles, mine and my wife's bicycle, kitchen items, garage items, my tools (not that big of deal), things out of his sisters room's, etc... He also has continued to damage our house by punching holes in the walls and doors. When he is confronted he lies and says he has not done these things but if his mom confronts him then eventually the truth comes out. With me he just lies. At this point and time I have step'd back and tried to let my wife confront him since I am afraid that if we really bring it to a head he will get upset and leave again and if that happens then his mother will blame me. His mother has made it clear that she does not want him to leave the house.

His mother says she wants me to be the adult / dad and confront him and deal with him. She thinks I don't love him anymore and I am treating him like a neighborhood kid compared to being compassionate and confiding like dealing with a real son. Not sure what to say to him or do since he will just lie and turn around and do it again anyway. Ever since it started he has been continuously confronted but that has not helped. I am worried I will say something that will upset him and then he will move out/run away again. If he does that and since he is so immature I am worried he will not be able to take care of himself. We have been together now for 12 years.

I am at the point of locking everything up and no longer have any desire to go on any vacations with my wife and leave my stepson home alone. Heck, I don't even want to leave the house and go to work anymore.

BTW: My step son will not go for counseling nor will my wife even though I have beg'd her to.

Please help. What words of wisdom can you provide that will help me deal with him, help him stop stealing on us and get him on the road to recovery??
What words of wisdom can you provide that will help me deal with my wife?? She thinks this is normal, is no big of deal, and thinks I don't
love him anymore.

Thank you so very much for your time and help in this matter...

[Fr_Chuck]

18, trouble, kick him out, sorry but if he will not try, you should not be allowing his behavior.