[TrueLoveKnowsNoBoundries]

Well I'm new here and I've been reading posts here. People here seem very helpful. Here Goes:

My girlfriend and I love each other very much. People say when you meet the right person you just know. I'm 18 and she will be 18 in May. Granted we are young but we don't have that average high school relationship kids have. Ours is the real thing. Our own parents have been married for 20 years each. They even see what we have as the real thing. That is very uplifting for us; it makes us think even more that what we have is real. We have already come to the conclusion that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. We talked about marriage at first just tossing the idea around. Now we are actually going to do it. She has a dream wedding planned out happening on Oct. 31. She has designed her own dress. But we have reached a bit of a bump. She wants to join the military and I want her to. But we also would like the marriage benefits with her being active so I can attend college. This includes a housing allowence to pay for an apt. for me so I can be near her, and so she has a place to come home to. This will also make it easier for me so I can get a job while there to pay for my college. But in order for us to do that we need to be married before she goes to basic training. We want to be married but if we do that then we won't be able to have the wedding she's always wanted. I want her to have anything and everything she's ever wanted. No matter what that costs me. So our options are as followes:

1. We can get married before this July. That would me we would be in Texas with her in basic training. I would be working and paying for my college. Being there for her.

2. We could wait and have the wedding of her dreams. Which is what I think she really wants. I get a job out there and attend a community college to gain some basic credits to transfer. Then we have till Oct. to have the wedding. Then in a few weeks of paper processing we get everything else.

We just don't know exactly which one would be best in the end we will come to our own decision but input for direction would be much appriciated.
Thank you for any and all help we receive

[fredg]

Hi, truelove..
Congratulations on planning to get married.
I am 63, been married for 28 yrs, second marriage. First ended in divorce after 7 yrs. I was 24 yrs old the first time I got married.
Marriage is what you both make it; can be very, very good, or can turn out to end in divorce! It is strictly up to you both and how you feel about each other, trust each other.
Personally, I would wait and give her the "wedding of her dreams". I know you love her, so let her have this moment in life, to start your marriage.
Big or small wedding really has nothing to do with the success of a marriage, but make her happy, and start with what she wants.
Happy New Year, and I do sincerely with you both the best in life.

[TrueLoveKnowsNoBoundries]

Well that's the problem. We arnt sure what would be best for our life. The options shown are what we've come to by talking. The extra money and benefits of being married before military. But you only have one wedding. I would do what would make her happy but she wants us to be happy. If she doesn't get her dream weddings she is OK with that knowing we are just married and finacially stable. Granted we won't be perfect right off but one of us in the military will help with that due to all the marrital benefits. She just wants to lay down at night saying I'm her husband more than anything.

[marvingorgas]

Hey bud,

This web page just popped up and your question just came up on my screen, I felt obligated to respond with an option to your situation. I understand you both will do what you want, but take this for what it's worth. I myself just got married last month, the kick was actually the same thing you and your wife to be are experiencing right now. I wanted my girlfriend to come live with me being that Support is a huge thing in the military (by the way, I'm in the military not her) and having someone to come home to is always something that will get me through any long day. Money, it was the issue in my case being that I make quite a bit, BUT supporting her with a roof over her head and giving her the opportunity to not to worry about housing or food because that is taken care of and all she has to do is worry about ME and progressing her education and future. Well, my Wife and I decided to get married being that financially we knew she would be taken care of. My issue much like yours was the whole, we only get married once. I don't know if your religious, but we are and we decided to have fun planning our bigger yet not so expensive church wedding. What we did was had a simple wedding with a judge in order for us to receive more financially, and the money we receive now will go towards our bigger but not so expensive wedding. My suggestion is to have a simple get away ceremony and than a romantic night alone that is only for you to. Something you can call your little secret. It is romantic and it is only between you two buddy. Than down the road, have a wedding that includes everyone else. But just a few helpful tips, the first is remember, the less expensive the bigger wedding is, the more money you will have for your honeymoon because so many people complain after their wedding that too much money was spent on making sure everyone else was happy but they didn't get to enjoy it, that's why you spend more on your honeymoon, you two will remember that more. The second tip is, even though you have a simple wedding the first time if that is what you do, take pictures or heir someone to do so for the both of you and have it be with a nice background, this way she can show it off to everyone later when she wants and she will always smile when she thinks about how simple but memorable and meaningful that day was (try to take as many possible if you know what I mean). The third and final tip that doesn't talk about a wedding is an important one and one that I would take time to think about, if she joins the military and she hasn't yet decided what she wants to do, push and I mean push for her to join a field where she is in a office or doing something technical or medical. Although I love and I am in the Army, I would recommend for anyone and I have already, for everyone if they can to join with the Air Force. They push harder than the Army does for their soldiers to further their schooling and we all know that would help their relationship financially. If she does choose the Army, let it be a field were she will be out of harms way and remember, it is best for her to take a short term (meaning 2 or 3 years) rather than a long one like 4yrs because you need to leave room for error (meaning if she doesn't like the military). Look, if you need help with anything else and if this did help a bit, I am glad but do let me know if you need anything. I hate to see soldiers loose out on something because people or recruiters did not or forgot to mention something. Being and Officer in the Army, I have plenty of connections if you need help or info with anything. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders just by reading what you asked, so keep looking forward and always give back to those who you can help (it will make you a better person both inside and out). Feel free to contact me through my email for a quicker response, [email protected] Good Luck, the two of You.

[padmapatak]

Why don't you search for wedding planners online?