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joeymac · Apr 15, 2009, 11:34 AM

So me and my girlfriend have been going out for a year and 4 months now. Im 18 and she's 17. This is the second relationship we've ween in. Our first relationship lasted about 6 months and we broke up because she felt she wasn't ready for a long term relationship. We completley stopped talking for about seven months and she started talking to me again at the end of the 7 months and she asked me back out on my birthday. I started living with her about a year ago. But we've know each other for 5 years and really think it is love since first sight. We've been together ever since but have had some bumps in the road but what relationship doesn't. So since January we've been having some trouble. In February she started to crush on this kid she goes to school with. She kept telling me it wasn't nothing just a friend from school so I believed her. But one day I saw a text to her friend that said she really likes this kid from school blah blah blah. So I confronted her and she said the reason she didn't tell me was because she didn't want me to get all worried because she knew it was only a little crush and it wasn't nearly anything like what we have so she knew she would get over it. So of course I started to get more nosey wanted to know who she was talking to who she was hanging out with and everything. Then about 2 weeks later she said we should take some time apart, some time to ourselves and to just hang out with friends for a little. So I agreed and went to stay with my friend for 2 weeks. And a couple days after I left she broke up with me and said that I'm being to protective and worried and not trusting her when she's with her friends. That I was like smothering her. That weekend I find out that she was hanging out with the kid and they ended up hooking up(Make out). When I came home to talk she told me she didn't want to loose me and didn't want me to leave was completley in tears. She called him in front of me and told him look what happened was a HUGE mistake it didn't mean anything and they haven't talked since. So we had a long talk and worked everything out. So a couple weeks ago she said she thinks we've been argueing about stupid little things and need some space again and that we just need some time to ourselves that she wants to get back together in a couple months and that its nothing to do with our relationship just we need to focus on ourselves. So I agreed and packed up some stuff and left again for a week. She came to hang out with me at the end of the week and we ended up getting back together and have been all over each other. I told her I still think we need some time apart and space and that I was still gonne give her some time and space. I went to New York this past weekend and came back to my buddys easter morning before he was going to take me home(her house) so she called and said we need to talk. We talked and she said this just isn't the realationship she wants to be in right now that she just wants to focus on this last month of school hanging out with friends and doing whatever...

But now all the sudden she said she doesn't know if she wants to get back together. That she doesn't want to say she wants to marrie me or have a future with me. But She's always been so sure of us and knows well be together forever and telling me she wants me to be the man she marries that we have something so amazingly special! I don't know what to do or why the sudden change.

My friends say its her friend alexis who lives the life of talking to different guys every week going to partys whenever and doing whatever she wants and not having to worry about a boyfriend. Just living real random and spontaniously. And that they think that my girlfriend is pronbably going through a fase where she wants to live that life?

please help me I love this girl with all my heart. And wouldent want to be with anyone else.

shazamataz · Apr 15, 2009, 12:10 PM

we talked and she said this just isn't the realationship she wants to be in right now that she just wants to focus on this last month of school hanging out with friends and doing whatever...

I think your friend is spot on.
She doesn't want to be committed to just one person she wants to galavant around and take her pick of what boys she wants then throw them away when she is bored with them.

If she really loves you then she wouldn't be cheating on you with other guys from her school.
I feel like I need some space from my partner sometimes but I certainly don't tell him to move out for a month! After an hour of alone time I want to see him again.

You need to find yourself a more mature girl who wants you for who you are and doesn't have the attention span of a gnat.

stillfading · Apr 15, 2009, 01:47 PM

Ditto.

Give her all the space in the world and go take your pick of the fish as well buddy that is what it comes down to

talaniman · Apr 16, 2009, 09:21 AM

I love this girl with all my heart. And wouldent want to be with anyone else.

That's the problem, she doesn't feel the same way you do. If she did, you would be together.

Sorry for your loss. You have to move on.

joeymac · Apr 18, 2009, 10:07 AM

You need to find yourself a more mature girl who wants you for who you are

Do you think she's just young and wants to experience her teenage years to the fullest before settling down?

talaniman · Apr 18, 2009, 01:09 PM

Do you think she's just young and wants to experience her teenage years to the fullest before settling down?

I think your both young, and have a lot of growing to do, before either of you is ready to settle down.

Not using age as a reason, but her wanting to see the world is normal, and your still figuring yourself out also.

You will grow, and recover from this, and deal with reality, and gain experience.

There will be many opportunities with other better partners, but you just can't see that yet. You will.

joeymac · Apr 19, 2009, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

There will be many opportunities with other better partners, but you just can't see that yet. You will.

Now its been 2 weeks she's completely changed and is acting like an entirely different person. Like she's erased the past 2 years from her mind like I never existed and is with some new guy already. Compleley just knocked me to my knees.

none12345 · Apr 20, 2009, 12:01 AM

Originally Posted by joeymac

Now its been 2 weeks shes completly changed and is acting like an entirely different person. Like shes erased the past 2 years from her mind like i never existed and is with some new guy already. Compleley just knocked me to my knees.

Same with me, there is nothing you can do about it but move on with your life as well. Just keep NC and heal and improve yourself.

kctiger · Apr 20, 2009, 05:35 AM

Originally Posted by joeymac

Now its been 2 weeks shes completly changed and is acting like an entirely different person. Like shes erased the past 2 years from her mind like i never existed and is with some new guy already. Compleley just knocked me to my knees.

This is common. They are humans and they have to move on too. I am sure it wasn't easy for her, but in the end, she has had more time to give this some serious thought. The past is what it is, and the future is still up for you to decide. Life is too short to mull over a girl who doesn't want anything to do with her. Fu** her!! It ain't worth it man, trust me.

Romefalls19 · Apr 20, 2009, 06:56 AM

Everyone moves on, some at a quicker pace than others. Some chose to wallow in self pity about it, others take a stand and say "I don't deserve to feel like this" and then they start living their life. That's where you need to get at my friend, break ups happen, they suck but they don't kill you, so stop acting like you are