[Darkwin]

My friend is girl and we have known each other for 4 years now... the 1st time we met we were making out but I had mentioned to her that, I don't want a relationship... as time went by I decided to we should cut it out and just be close friends... she waz kind of okay with it.. I did evrythng to make her know that I appreciate her... gave her a Great birthday present but after her b-day that's in July last year she was like avoiding me... I decided just to forget that and just try to make her know she will always be my closest friend but still she was like avoiding me and in January I was going through tough financial and also family issues & SHE WAS NOT THERE FOR ME that's when I decided its time for me to move on.After 2 months she Texts me asking why I've been silent... I Xplained why and she reply its because SHE STILL HAD FEELINGS FOR ME & SHE HAD TO TAKE TIME OFF and kthat we should get back together but this time as BEST FRIENDS FOREVER! Can I forgive her??

[Jake2008]

I guess it all depends upon your definition of friendship.

A good friend is just that. They are they when you need them, and you're there when they need you. It's keeping in touch, making time for each other, sharing lives, activities, memories, etc.

Like any relationship, it has its boundaries, expectations, and problems. While the silent treatment from her happened after her Birthday, about this time last year, you were left floundering and could have used a friend when you ran into difficulty. She was not there for you.

Now suddenly she is.

If it were me, I would consider her a fairweather friend. Not a best friend. If it is convenient for her to be your friend, for whatever reason, she is. If she has better things, people, places to check out and dumps you cold, she's around only when it suits her. Also not a friend.

IF the two of you can talk this out, and sort out what went wrong, maybe the friendship can begin again. It's important that you know what she expects, and what you expect. The top of my list would be not to be treated like she had treated you, ever again. That would require honesty on her part. Then again, if you can't trust a friend to be honest with you, what's the point.

[hidden123]

You should take into consideration, that although she was "sort of ok" with you being friends - her feelings were most likely stronger and she needed time to herself to sort things out.

[talaniman]

Of course you can forgive her because she needed time to get over her disappointment and rejection by you.

How would you feel if a female you really liked and wanted to love had said "let just be good friends".

But I caution you my friend, just like she was kind of okay with this be friends suggestion before, but couldn't handle it, then she could very well still have those feelings but think she is ready for what you want. Friendship. But what she really wants is to keep you in her life, and if a friendship is to work, then you both have to be able to talk honestly. Plus I see a very big red flag with trying to make her a friend that can be there through your bad times, and be upset that she cannot.

You seem to show no empathy, and understanding of the feelings of others, only your own, and that's not being a good friend either. So maybe you get your own head together and don't make this just about your definition of friendship, but find out what hers is also.

Maybe you cannot be friends. At least not just on your terms.But you can forgive her past actions.